Part seven of the 10 things I wish I knew before leaving Africa
From Wikipedia encyclopedia: Jungle fever- a slang term for interracial relations
It was my last week in Kenya and I was just about to be shipped off to Australia. There I was, casually sauntering through Carnivore trying to convince older women that I still wasn’t being breast fed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a friend of mine, drunker than a depressed brewery worker, come staggering down. He staggered directly to me, plopped his hand on my shoulder and delivered a monologue that I will probably never forger until the day I die. I paraphrase:
“You guy as you ship over, remember something….(dramatic pause) Those Western women love black d***. These chicks wait at the airport with signs just chilling for the next black dude to step off the plane..(At this point, I drifted off into fantasy land imagining the possibilities of what he had just told me)”
You can’t even imagine what that did to me. As I stepped on that Kenya Airways plane, I had a pep in my step and I wasn’t looking back. And then I arrived!!!
So What Do I Know Five Years Later?
I am glad you asked. I have been in boarding school in the country, Christian schools, public schools, different cities, different states and different Universities. I have hung out with Kenyans, Zims, Tswanas, Ugandans, Asians, Indians, Caucasians the whole shebang (btw what type of word is shebang? who came up with a word like shebang?). My observation is pretty simple. African men being mighty conquerors who head on over to Western countries and can seduce any Western woman they want because they all swoon over him: by and large that’s a myth!
There are in general five types of Western women who get jungle fever for African men:
1) Girls with low self esteem
2) Girls who are ‘kilogramically challenged’ aka a tad bit overweight
3) Girls with drug problems
4) Girls who wanna ‘be down’ (think double-entendres here)
5) Girls who watch too much interracial porn or spend way too much time in fantasy land
Low Self Esteem and Overweight
I have put these two together for one reason. Now ladies, please, correct me if I am wrong: I have noticed that as far as woman are concerned, even in this post-feminist age, majority of women still pretty much value themselves on the basis of their beauty and/or their desirability to potential suitors.
If you don’t believe me, Google ‘Weight loss’ and see how many results come up. Go to the supermarket and check how many of those magazines talk about fabulous dresses and ways to please your man. Finally, tell a girl she is stupid and unemployable and watch her reaction. Finally tell her she is ugly and no one will ever find her attractive.See which of the two derives a stronger reaction (btw please don’t actually do this experiment to see how hurt someone gets, I can tell you right now in my experience it’s the ugly comment that hurts the most)
So let’s assume you now agree with me. Now out here in the West, fat women aren’t generally considered beautiful. Therefore if women feel they are not beautiful and desirable they tend to feel pretty worthless and have self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
Cue the African Man
I won’t even bother explaining and philosophizing on it……I’ve got two stories for you:
The Story of the Fully Stocked Fridge (An African Man’s Take on Why We Sleep with Fat Western Women, again I paraphrase. Actually anytime I quote someone, assume I am paraphrasing and not giving you a verbatim quote unless I state otherwise): So you’re in the club and you know, you are not there to preach. You have three missions, chill with your boys, grab a cold one and finally maybe leave with a little something something…..
So you check in the club it’s maybe 9:30pm, sit down and start vibing with your boys. The pints start coming and a good time is being had by all. Then around midnight,you start to feel your soldier down south telling you it’s time to go hunting.
So you know, there are a few mirooz(Africans for the uninitiated) around, so you begin campaigning. You ask to the left, is nothing. You ask to the right, nyimwad (denied).
Then you notice something out of the corner of your eye but you push it aside. Around 2:30 a.m. that thing that was taking up just a corner is now taking up the ENTIRE space of both your eyes. She’s a big woman and you’re like, “There’s no way…there’s just no way.”
At 3 a.m., you rewrite your rules and draft a new constitution. And so you look around and say to yourself, “Enyewe njaa ni mbaya (the hunger is bad).”
3:15a.m., you are there with your hand outstretched, asking her if you can connect the dots. Talking is just a formality and after a quick convo, you leave together.
Now the great thing about sleeping with a big woman is come the next morning. You have finished your work. Now she’s a big woman so you’ve just put in overtime on that shift. But when you go to the fridge…..”
“….Fully loaded! If you’re a broke or a student, it’s like going to heaven. By sleeping with big mamas you save $50 in shopping every week.”
So What’s the Game Plan?
The Book Review (This is another friend of mine telling me about a book he had just recently read):
“The guy who wrote the book is a bright guy. Now anytime you look at a group of chicks, there is always either an ugly one or a fat one, sometimes they are the same person. Now other guys will be campaigning for the other chicks, but you, you’re a time saver. You compromise on quality for the evening and you slide on in to the unattractive often neglected friend. A bit of flattery, make her feel beautiful and boom, you’re in.”
Btw both stories are true, a bit exaggerated but very very true.
Has a Drug Problem and Wants to Be Down
Again these two are very much related. These women tend to be the women who are knee deep into the hip hop culture and think that African is one big country where we ALL listen to hip hop and act like 50 cent-Ask someone who’s been in the West a while and you learn this stereotype is surprisingly common.
So after listening to enough Bone Thugs n Harmony, they begin to sample marijuana, or a bit of cocaine or speed or whatever. And soon enough they become addicted. What do they do?
1) First they seek people to smoke with. (btw I kid you not, for those of you who haven’t found enough odd things on the Internet, there is actually a dating site for marijuana smokers. I guess we all need love…..)
2) And then they seek someone to sell them the drugs on a regular basis
Cue the Black Man
This spot is reserved for the African brothers who are also knee deep into hip hop. In my first couple of years here, it was quite common for people to stop me and ask me if I had any drugs or any pills. So if a white girl finds a brother and he can fulfill he narcotic cravings, it’s a match made in heaven, or grown in a coca farm in Bolivia.
A Few Problems Though
1)Some of these women tend to take this trying-to-be-African-American-thing a bit too far and even decide they will try to be drama queens like, “some of the sistaz they saw on TV.” This pretty much guarantees that a quiet night of socializing turns into a session where she huddles up with ‘her girlfriends’ to talk about, “men aint worth s……”
2) When she tires of the hip hop lifestyle or she outgrows it or the consequences come knocking, she will dump a brother and leave him cold and alone faster than you can say, “She’s my woman and she’s gonna stand by her………”
The Mandingo Fantasy
In truth, this fantasy probably plays a role in almost all cases of Jungle Fever. This fantasy basically reduces all young black men all over the world into strong ebony love-making Gods with elephant trunks swaying between their legs and the love-making skills of Don Juan in his prime. Women who strongly by into this fantasy tend to have either watched too much interracial porn or too many movies that talk about how, “brothers are packing down south.” Now I am yet to meet an African man who is willing to argue against this fantasy or attempt to disprove it in any way. I am not about to but it’s definitely something that’s there and you should know about.
However, if you wanna know what type of women regularly try to test out this fantasy to see if it matches reality, generally they have characteristics 1 through 4 in the list above.
So What’s the Point? What Should We Do?
Well this depends on what you want. What my friend promised me at Carnivore is true. If you are coming to Australia just to get laid without regard for the type of person you sleep with, you can. All you have to do is hang around the night clubs and flatter people here and there. In fact a friend of mine’s strategy consists of him going to a club sitting down, drinking and waiting for a white girl to come and flirt with him.
However, if you want good quality relationships, as is always the case, it is very difficult to find. What I would advise is you best be bringing something else to the table rather than a promise of a trunk long enough to choke a gorilla. The people who get the quality tend to be very interesting special people; They may be good looking. They may have a very endearing idiosyncrasy. They may be so smooth they can skate on sand. They may be extraordinarily gifted at business, writing (that’s me 😀 lol), sports, academia whatever. I think the solution to the quality problem is, as much of a cliche as it is:
Know what your passions are. Pursue your passion with vigour and intensity and if you grow a garden beautiful enough, people will come. In truth, from an empirical standpoint, I am not really sure what the solution is. However,I will definitely make it one of the points of this blog to answer that question. I really hope this blog has served.
Before you leave make sure you leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts. Until then, stay off the porn.
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Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
For the women reading this, your situation is a lot different from this from what I have observed and studied. This will definitely be a topic of future posts. If you have any thoughts, any ideas, any thing, you think you missed, either leave a comment below or contact me and let me know.
Update: Many months later I did write the article: Jungle Fever 2: The Relationship Between White Men and African Women
Tags: Interracial relationships, Jungle fever, mandingo fantasy, white women black men
i studied at Syracuse Uni, NY and finished in 2001. there were lots of black men from middle class backgrounds i knew who dated attractive, smart, educated white women. i dated white women too let me tell you that as an african dating african american women is more difficult than other women in the Usa, the 5 stereotypes you listed apply to black men from ghettoes or just plain ignorant black men who hate black women. unlike us africans there are black men who hate their women badly and will go for even the ugliest white woman over any pretty black one. these stereotypes dont apply to middle class and/or educated and/or successful black men.
i won’t argue, since in the USA, there lots of ‘white elephants’ ie obese white ladies with black men but also lots of wonderful, attractive white women with black men. take your pick! depending on where you are in the USA mwangi you will get hit on by the attractive white girls as well as the ugly, frumpy, humpty and black wannabe white ones; yes please believe that some of ‘kilogrammically challenged’ ones as you so put it are that daring. funny thing is some of the ugly white girls think they are doing you a favour as a black man. those are what i call ‘liberal-racists’ and you can’t avoid it because white women greatly outnumber black men, its like avoiding mosquitoes. a smart, articulate guy like you mwangi can get any women so why worry about such women? just get yourself a nice white girl and forget the rest. i leave you with a short youtube video nicely explaining, using eye catcing imagery, where that stereotype of the black men + fat women came from. this video was directed to fat black women by an educated black man who tries to show like i explained above why that stereotype don’t apply to all black men. it applies for white women as well. watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-65vebHEv_w
this is a fuckin racial site u dumb fuck whiteboys really believe ur all that its funny u cant go up to a black guy and say this
I appreciate everyone’s views on this blog though am new here and intend to bless you all in Jesus’ name.I like it best when people of different races tend to exchang ideas about cultures and stuff like that.But then i have this jungle fever like i need to fall i love with a fine hearted in Christ white chic.Plz no hackers scum msgs to my net.Feel good yall.OmarttArchangel
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha.
this is the holy grail.
To all fucking white women who love black cocks, let me tell you, you may think its enjoyable BUT there`s a hidden thing you arsehole`s dont know about, First blacks have a high tendency to get aids, Second they are always the first to die in this world and why? because they grow too fast thats why?! Third they love to plant seeds and infect us with their virus, go back to your slavery blacks arsehole`s!!!!! read your history black cotton pickers!!!! Sieg Heil…..specially for mwangi in his support for anti-black cock……..
you white women are pure!!!! dont let those black subspecies infect you!!!! you are naturally pure and white, we must uphold our racial purity and we must cleanse this world of those inferior races….example?? blacks, jews and so on
Hi there 🙂 I’m in Canada, and I loved your article on white women that date black men. In Canada, there’s another category, to which I exist, hot aging smarties who are not interested in being ‘babies mammas’ for anyone, black or white, and can’t resist the beauty and spirit of the African immigrant/refugee–especially given the dearth of desirable white men once one crosses the ’40s threshold! Y’all age well! 🙂
Peace, Laura
p.s. Your friend who “sits and wait for the white girl to come flirt with them” is experiencing the already discovered ploy of the attractive female: just sit and look pretty, and they will come. While you certainly have to weed out the creepies, I think that freaky usually attracts freaky, so . . .
Katherine as an African American poster, I find what you say plausible that there are many interracial couples out there who find love for genuine reasons.Hey, I will venture to say that I find it highly plausible that alot of people are just plain compatible. Whether these couples find compatibility due to similar outlooks, similar interests, similar goals, or similar backgrounds, I find the experiences of genuine interracial unions highly plausible-for alot of them.
But not all of them. I have seen what Mwangi has seen so far and he is not alone. Mwangi’s post has a good grain of truth to it. Honestly, however unpleasant it may be to you being involved in a genuine one,I have seen the fat white woman with the black man enough to know that Mwangi may not that off the mark-at all; and yes, this was in the U.S. Nevertheless, racism being the order of the day that it is everywhere, this phenomenon exist in places outside the U.S. so to paint the U.S. as if it is such a “special case” with it being nearly non-existent everywhere else is a fallacy. Not to say that it not more obvious or maybe even more noticed since it is probably more reported in the U.S., but the US is not the only place with this problem.
Also,unpleasant though this may be, people pick up the stereotypes and views they grew up with/around them unless they get other experiences or find out otherwise. Until then, whether we like it or not people judge each other by stereotypes, until they get further information. Even then, some folks still may hold stereotypes due to bias. Or being sheltered. That is just the way that is-at least for now. Things can change, but that hasn’t happen yet. But speaking of being sheltered, if I don’t know much of a group and I have never been exposed to them outside of stereotypes, there is a large guarantee that I will look at the group in question in that light since I have nothing else to go by. Especially if I have no other reference to go by to refute my potentials bias.
Either way,people might need to reconsider judging interracial couples through a biased lens. But the truth be told, some of these observations have a ring of truth to them and calling Mwangi racist, poorly uneducated, or sheltered may not change the observations on the ground at all-however unpleasant he may sound. I have heard a few white comedians observe the same thing-and some of these people date black women!
Saying all that I said earlier, what I got from the author is that he is saying that it would be great for the white women doing this to stop getting into these relationships for dumb reasons like “gender”myths and coolness. That it would not be a bad idea to date someone mainly because you simply like/love them instead of the foolishness above. This goes for both parties. To the black men, he is saying that the ones doing this should have enough standards and self worth to know that they do not have to date white women that have something wrong with them. That it might be a great idea, if you are going to date these women, to date them because of reasons of compatability/like/love instead of foolishness instead of what you can get out of her.
@anonymous: You probably should have left your name in your comments because what you said makes a lot of sense to me.
Interesting article.
I’m a white Canadian married to a Senegalese man. We met and still live in Asia, and I can categorically state that we fit into none of your stereotypes and are genuinely crazy about each other.
However, as much as it pains me, I have to say I agree with so much of what you’ve said…. I’ve heard that it is much worse in the US – but, even here in Asia, there is much evidence of your arguments,and yes, I would say that many of the African men/white women relationships, or perhaps I should say interactions, that I have seen do fit into your descriptions.
In a purely superficial sense I often see young African men with women who don’t appear to be their equals.. It’s very hard to define what I mean, but it’s SO easy to spot.
Sometimes you see a couple that just don’t make sense and it is OBVIOUS that the relationship is not built on genuine love…. Old, white European men with young Thai women is another example, 27-year old women with 80 year old billionaires is another..
However – I also know of quite a few white women who thought they were genuinely in love with an African man, only to find that after they were married and had lived as husband and wife for the amount of time required for an independent visa, their “husbands” cut all ties with them. I know first-hand of women who found out after they were married that their husbands have other wives in Africa that their families had even hushed up.
So, I think it’s fair to say that not all African men have pure intentions, and are more than capable of using white women.
Actually, I would venture to say that this is becoming more and more common. Many of my husband’s friends are married to foreign women, but admit to each other they are only married for a visa and have no interest in the women they share their life with.. Some of these women seem to know and accept this, but others, sadly, have no idea.
I wonder how all of this happened? Why does it seem like so many of the relationships between African men and white women are based on ulterior motives rather than love and respect?
It makes me so sad. My husband and I are very happy together and love the fact that we come from different cultures. We are constantly learning about each other, and through that, learning tolerance and compassion.
The last thing I’ll say is directed to the white women who have taken offence at this article because they are in a happy relationship with an African man… Don’t worry – when you are genuinely in love people can tell and no matter what others may think, say or do, nothing can touch or change that…
BUT there is definitely something very wrong with the way many white women view and treat African men and vice-versa.
Hi there. I stumbled across this site and have read through your blog and mist of the responses. It really saddens me that people are still judging each other and putting us voluptuous girls in one bag. I understand that this is something that has been observed by many chocolate men, and it may be true that larger girls are attracted to fine black men, but my question is have you ever asked a bigger lady why she is attracted to them? I myself am curvy, not obese, and I love the brothers. It all came about when I was at church, and seen an interracial couples baby boy. I was at the age of 12 and from the first day I seen that gorgeous mixed baby I thought Im going to marry an African man that can give me some beautiful children. Over the years I began to appreciate so many fine qualities and assets a black man has. For me personally, it’s that warm dark skin. Can’t keep my hands off it. Brothers have this smoothness about them that white men dream of getting. I’ll admit that all women and probably white men are curios about size etc, but we all need to remember, it’s not the size that counts- it’s what you can do with it! So to finalize my point, I would like to say that if you have a certain desire it may not be a result of poor
confidence or size. It’s an attraction that lies deep within you that you have got from some life
experience. In my opinion it takes a lot of confidence to chat up a sexy black man. The challenge
is to keep him happy so that he doesn’t stray. I hope that in some way I have given you all another perspective, and that we all learn to accept each other no matter what race, size etc. You should love someone for their heart and not be so narrow minded(even if it is the norm). Thanks 🙂
just commenting on the gal who talked about curvy women liking black men not necessarily being a low self-esteem thing, and i totally agree–I love my curves. And she’s right about it taking courage to chat up a hot black guy, but i find they come to me usually 😉 Finally, about the challenge to keep them happy to keep them from straying: not possible: if they are going to stray, they will no matter what. I’ve seen it over and over, even seen a guy telling others how good his woman is to him, but he doesn’t want to be monogamous. This is NOT a judgement on this lifestyle because I have several black men in my life 🙂 And, no ALL black guys are not like this. My point is, don’t try to change any man–it’s futile and they react badly to it anyway.
@Louise..of all the white women who’ve commented on this blog, no post makes as much sense or speaks as much truth as yours. at least a female finally understands what the likes of me and Mwangi have been trying to say all along. to the 2 ladies talking about white women & courage i approcahing black men, let me tell you first hand that a lot of good looking black men get approached by ugly fat white women everyday. i dont believe this is bcos of courage – if you saw african men dating white women who don’t appear to be their equals (as Louise so aptly put it), doesn’t it make sense (hypothetically speaking) that as an ugly, fat white woman you’d subconsciously believe getting a black man was easy?! i have dated attractive women interracially but never a white woman. I have been approached by quite number of white women, most of them being downright fat and ugly..right in melbourne Australia – a city that is highly infested with attractive women of all races and nationalities…and i don’t mean to bust my bubble, i have been told many, many times I am handsome and being 6ft 2inches isn’t exactly a disadvantage either; why then is it that i have never been approached by obviously unattractive women of any other race..except white women? that’s cos unfortunately some of my African brothers have given white women the belief that ‘we’ll date you just because your skin is white, even if you lack in every other area of your life’ – sad but true. i have seen african men though, step up their standards with other women e.g the african men i knew dating Sri Lankan women were definitely not dating ‘beneath’ themselves. I can tell you the few Sri Lankan women who gave me hints of interest were so attractive i felt very intimidated by one and i even chickened out..no fat, ugly Sri Lankan woman has ever stepped up to me. i’m just giving an example to show the contrast of what i’m trying to say. when a white women steps up to a black men its often cos of desperation and/or a conscious or unconscious superiority complex (i.e “i may not be good enough for white men, but surely not black men”) having said that though, i do know black guys who date attractive white women..but this is the exception (always has been!) and not the rule! – and that right there is the problem
lets be honest, u never see a good looking black man with a fat stank ass white bitch. everytime u see a black man with a big fat stanky white whore, he looks just like her or she’s got money. be honest, u never see a fine black man with a big fat ugly ass white woman. and thats real. whoever says different is a dumb ass liar wishing.
p.s., its not black men’s fault that white men have such small dicks, so get over it. and to the person who started this dumb ass discussion, dont get mad becasue the only women that want your ass are ugly ass fat ass white bitches with low self esteem. that sounds like a personal problem to me. u must be ugly your damn self.
and to be honest, no woman who has self esteem and looks nice, wants an ugly super black ass african like you. wearing a colorful dress. u sound like a jealous sissy mad because no woman wants u but big fat ass ugly white women. i mean what do u expect with your round heads and tiny bodies. looking like feed the children. and yall 3rd world dirt eaters have the nerve to talk crazy about black americans. but if u got to a real african city that actually has electricity, they’re doing nothing but imitating black americans. so get over your black ass self, and go fuck your big fat ugly ass stanky white bitch. or man, cause african men are very bi-sexual.
To everyone,
It’s true and would absolutely agree that there is an inexplicable chemistry (I’d call it) between African men and curvy white women; after all being big means healthy and beautiful where I hail from. Before I came to UK 14 years, I never took notice of any white women but after a few relationships with African/black women (they have so many material issues) went tits up, I found myself turning my head every time a white chic wiggled her bits past me. I developed an inner conflict and would go to the clubs, get hooked up but always have something nagging at back of my mind telling me this ain’t right!! It seemed so surreal that a pussy can come along that cheap contrary to Blacks/Asians who want the world before you can even touch their knickers and you eventually touch, you become a perennial mobile bank. Every black lad who has been there knows the drill! I am settled now and have a big family; a prospect that suffused me with dread before. These white women have a golden heart and they give up everything for you, the distinction comes when the woman is willing to learn and respect you like an Africa male; we wear trousers in this realm! Don’t get me twisted here; our gals are brilliant but they are so rooted to their families which mean they will always be skint as fuck all the bloody time; they are very frugal and understandably, it’s coz demands from their native country are too high!
There was a guy by name Nomad who posted some comments here and I would want to shed some light about the jungle of misery that many British Black men live in. It’s not everyone but majority of B/blacks are disillusioned and they don’t know who they are; they struggle their identities. They were bullied, called all racist names in the universe and treated with cruelty; they grow up trying to justify themselves and the only way they feel they can get noticed is having a relationship with a white gal. even at work they dont feel comfortable in the midst of immigrant Africans, they shun them. Open your eyes and you will realise that 99% B/black celebrities marry white women, why? conversely, in USA it’s a very different scenario, they mostly stick to their own. British black men suffer from extreme inferiority complex to an extent of harming themselves. One very intelligent dude I met in Uni disappointed me big time; he won lotto money and paid tkt for his mum to fly to her ancestral home in Caribbean and I asked him why he has never traveled there to see his relatives and he said, “I don’t want to get dark”. Sorry ass! You are black, I wiped the floor with him and could not believe that people can be manipulated to deny their identities by an inefficient system designed to sweep pressing issues under the carpet rather than facing up and addressing them; this is recklessness that will have shattering consequences in the future. This is not an isolated case, I have witnessed worse things than that. it’s normal to see everybody smiling at you here in Britain while deep inside they are burning with hatred. I detest and abhor pretence of any nature and I find it very disrespectful. However, a lot of British people are very kind, polite and thoughtful; it would harsh not to highlight that. Be black and be proud, God made man from clay(mud)! Angels in heaven are golden! One day black commodity will be scarce! Fuck Hitler, he still remembers Jesse Owen in the after life; how cool is that! Food for thought! Thanks Mwangi for igniting old flames.
You are hilarious!! I am an ethiopian woman and found this article when I googled “why do men cheat”.
I do find your article to be funny and very well written but quite offensive to a white woman.
When I see a black man with a white woman, I make nothing of it. But I stare in question and amazement. Most time I find the white lady is pretty and the guy super ugly. And I also find the woman is overtly trying to show HIM off while he avoids making eye contact with me.
I am in an interracial marriage and my children are bi-racial. Both my husband and I do not behave in that manner and I think it does have something to do with self-esteem, you are somewhat right. I find that if you are trying to prove to show off your mate than obviously self-esteem issue is at hand.
Nonetheless, thanks for the laugh and if there’s a fat white chick with a black man, more power to ya but please don’t flaunt him cos 95% of the time he ffuuuuuuugggggllllyyy! lol
nobody wants a white woman,not even white men, thats why they dress them up in all kinds of face paint and hair extensions, and fake body parts. and now black women believe they need to do the same thing to compete with the ugly flat booty bitches. and the only reason a black man that looks good wants a big fat white woman is because he’s a fuckin broke bum using her for money.
Hey Mwangi,
I am a Kenyan living in Brisbane and I agree with you totally. I believe that you left out one group though. The older white woman. I have a lot of african male friends who are dating white women and they always seem to be old or “kilogramically challenged” as you so amusingly put it.
From my observation these African guys normally go for the white woman with one primary goal and that is to secure citizenship. Sadly they prey on easy targets who have no or limited options when it comes to men. Even if they already have secured their citizenship they still go for the fat ones as they are not so picky and are thus easier to fuck.Yes I said it.. sorry.The reverse is somewhat true too… most african gals date old or ugly white gals to get paper too . For those of you who dont believe this club casablanca in brisbane is the place to go. seeing is believing.
from what ive seen both black men and white women are shamefull..both have no repect..the white woman are contaminating the dumb ass black man. He think he in front, but she is..the white woman is the most cunning and sly creature on earth. She is turning black men away from his morals and values. And those poor half breed kids. You African men think you all that..but let me tell you..you are just at fashion accessory to her, something that ‘she’ can show off to her friends. You all dumbs ass.z
Your article was quite the eye opener. I am a white ‘kilogramatically’ challenged woman. and yes I’m older too so I fit your stereotypes. And yes have had black men hit on me numerous times. Have succumbed to their ‘charms’ on three occasions. These three “relationships” have been enough to teach me that it’s no big deal as the rumours would have it.
But I’m not commenting here to dispell a rumour. What really kind of hurts is that I actually got rather sucked in by these guys. I thought they genuinely liked me until I learned that these guys were really just wanting the ‘white experience’ as a friend called it. Now this friend is a Sudanese male who was friends with these men and probably should not have let me in on the joke. But he really helped me when he explained where it was all at. That’s why I still call him a friend.
He explained how many black men dream of getting a white girl just to see what it’s like and when I asked him why he explained it was because we love sex so much and really get into it and will do things African girls will not. For example, blowjobs which are very popular and every white girl I’ve spoken to since who has slept with an African guy, tells how surprised they were when the guy was in absolute raptures when he realised he was about to get one.
He also said we don’t act all prissy and hard to get like Africa women. We are affectionate and welcoming apparently.
So all you African women out there who complain and hate our guts for supposedly stealing your men you need to maybe take a good hard look at why they’re coming after us. Take care of your men in the bedroom department. Make them feel wanted and for God sake give them a blow job so they’ll leave us the hell alone cause that’s pretty much all they always ask for. They certainly don’t love us and most have no intention of actually pursuing a relationship.
The married ones are particularly bad cause they don’t even see fucking a white girl as cheating, that’s how little we matter to them. And they have no problem coming to us when they’re wives are pregnant and don’t want sex. And the wives turn a blind eye cause they’re just happy not to be pestered for sex while pregnant so in effect they’re adding to the problem.
I admit there are probably exceptions out there but I have yet to come across any. It’s a sad situation and certainly does not help race relations. Anyway have had my rant and I’m not off black men there’s good and bad in every race. Still maintain I will treat each on an individual basis but must admit to being a little more wary now as far as getting involved with them.
Ok, this is just shallow, I am Kenyan living in Brisbane and in a relationship with a fit white woman and when I said “fit” I actually meant fit healthy living and career orientated white woman and yes, not your stereotypical kilograms challenged white women.
In a corporate world, you’ll realise that there is somewhat a large demand for a handsome career-oriented black men and this is very true indeed,
@Gitura: Quick question, are you suggesting that women wanting men for the reasons in the article is shallow whereas women wanting a man simply because he is handsome and has a career isn’t? R u sure shallow was the word you were after?
Mwangi,
I am stunt and awed that no one saw your post as a bashing of African men. You have not only degraded Africans you have actually made them sound like scumbags that have been shipped off to Western worlds to be used by white women for sexual satisfaction who couldn’t otherwise attain it from their white counter parts. It pierces my heart to see you reduce not just African men but yourself as well to nothing but a dickhead with no brain (of course u r African.. and I hope you know you just defined yourself with this post). It’s just a reflection of how low your self-esteem runs and how much of sadist you are.
And NO am not a man. I am an African Woman.
@Hibo: I am at least happy that you recognize that at the end of this article it is the African man who comes out looking worst and with the most distance they have to go, I am surprised many people, especially white women seemed to overlook this fact.
there is something i would like to clarify. just bcos you date interracially does not mean you are not racist. I have heard many a black woman complain that a lot of white woman who date black man will talk crap about black men and/or women of colour in general…this seems to be a common theme when it come to interracial relationships in the West..you have fat, bitter, jealous White/non-black chicks that can’t get a man of their own race and are desperately trying to compete with Black women for Black mens attention…
..and if black men are honest, they know that a lot of white women are exactly like this
sorry i meant “they will talk crap about black women”
Hi Mwangi,
I’m a white woman currently going out with an African man. You’re stereotypes don’t apply to me – luckily – please put up a category: normal woman who just happens to have met a seemingly nice fellow…
I see the things happen you describe. It’s no wonder, though. With people from faraway countries often you don’t understand their culture and often they don’t seem to have a clue about the rules of your society, neither. You can’t check on them whether they’re just little thieves and maybe disappear leaving you behind pregnant. Do they have jobs, incomes? They don’t have family in your country you could turn to for help. In short, they’re less desirable partners and therefore often get women who don’t have so much of a choice and need to take bigger risks. It’s logical.
I’m found this post after googling ‘why do Ugandan men like white women?’ and I googled that because I can’t believe my luck with my new man. I have to say that this post has left me wondering if he is after me for my fully stocked fridge! You see, we met through our modelling work. In my opinion he is absolutely gorgeous and he seems to think the same about me, or so he says. I know that googling my question does question the level of my self esteem but my modelling work and constant requests for dates, and I do mean constant, suggest to me that even though I am 43, I’m very fortunate with my looks. I’m not a stick thin model but I’m not fat. I am a well toned curvy dress size 14 with a great chest! I have waist length dark brown hair and big, attractive blue eyes. I have an IQ of 123 and I’m a trained chef. I know what you’re thinking – ‘She’s an old girl, flattered by a young guy who she keeps hold of by feeding him’ – well, so far I haven’t cooked for him. He has cooked for me, twice. We go out and he always pays. He insists on it but I am a modern woman and force him to take my financial contribution, however small. Its only fair as we’re both earning. We have slept together but I certainly wasn’t attracted to him because of the myth about what was in his trousers. He has been blessed in that department but wouldn’t win any size competitions. The only other black guy I had a relationship with wasn’t blessed in that way at all so that prosect wasn’t something I considered at all – I just really fancy my man and couldn’t wait to get passionate with him! Out of the bedroom, he is intelligent, interesting, funny, complimentary, polite, a true gent and a lovely protector. He works out daily and anyone looking for a guy to do drugs with would surely be barking up the wrong tree? Neither of us do drugs. So, I’m left still wondering what it is he sees in me, but not so much now. If your opinion, that African guys usually get keep with the fat girls wit low self esteem, or the girls looking for a big trousers snake or a toker looking to score, I guess my man may well be googling something like ‘what does am elegant English white lady see in me?’ Maybe I’ll stop asking the questions and just enjoy what I’ve got. Its all very new at the moment but I hope he sticks around long enough to realise that if I’m treated right, I’ll do anything for him and enjoy making him happy. Thanks for reading.
Thank you for writing this. As a white woman who was in love with an African man and who fits into your categories I can relate. It held a mirror up to my face. And I’m changing my course accordingly.
I am a black girl and I like white men, I feel the black man is lazy and looks for a low white female to keep him in food so he can watch television on day. It the white woman want him, this is what she will get, there are enougn
white trash around to give him this, good luck honky.
You are an extremely ignorant and racist woman, and it is sad their are other ignorants like you in the world. I am a mature woman in a committed relationship with a Black man who is originally from Africa. I am a published book author,consider myself confident,have a healthy dose of self-esteem,and because I take extreme good care of my health..going to the gym several times a week,& eating healthy, I look younger than my age. Based on the comments I hear, I am regarded as very attractive. I am blonde and fair skinned. Since i can remember I have always had an attraction for males with darker skin. I am simply NOT physically attracted to someone who is like ME;fair skinned. I find the contrast between dark skin and white skin very sexy,much in the same way some men have a sexual or physical preference for women who are larger busted, or for petite asian women, etc. These preferences simply have to do with how we are internally wired.I can say with all honestly that the Black man I am in a relationship with treats me better……..and makes me feel more loved and like a woman than any white man I have ever known. He is exremly intelligent, college educated, has a beautiful mind,very romantic,and simply a man above most men.Again, I take GREAT offense to your hateful and ill-informed ‘article’ (use that term loosely)and it is hatemongers like you who are the cause of racism in the world. Shame on you!
@Adjoa: Initially when I would read responses such as yours, I tried to explain that relationships such as yours are the reason this article exists. However, these many years later, I am reading your comment and struck by just how narcissistic it is. This article was not meant to speak to you or assist you. I do not mind or discourage you from reading it at all, but it was not meant for you.
The closest metaphor I can think of to describe what you have just done, is going into your business partners offices and criticising their operations manual. If you truly are as beautiful and together as you say, which I have no reason to think you are not, then this article was written to begin the discussion about how more African men can meet more women such as yourself while in the diaspora.
In short, please get off your high horse. It was cute 200 articles ago, but at this stage the narcissism miffs me somewhat. That being said, I send nothing but love and good vibes your way, no hate meant.
PS: I am a man 🙂
Mwangi, Your reply makes little sense to me since, this is my first time here, first time reading or replying to this article,and as I have no idea when it was posted, if you are tired of the 200+ comments, dont take it out on me, a newbie. It is also ridiculous for you to say the article is not meant for me. When you post something on the web publicly, it becomes public fodder. I have a right to my opinion, and as I DID take offense to the article, I also have a right to express it. If you dont like what I had to say, then get off your own high horse and realize I am trying to give credit where credit is due…………because not all white women who date black men are as the article states(over-weight,low self-esteem,depressed, etc)………….and not all Black men mistreat women, are lazy,unemployed etc. I have every right to reply, and to defend someone (a black man from w.africa)who is very special to me. What you hear is not arrogance,but simply standing up against the worst type of racism and stereotyping.Lastly, the one thing we agree on is that I think if more white women would take off their race blinders, yes, there is a whole big beautiful world of color out there that can be different, exciting,exotic,sensual,beautiful,etc.
@Adjoa: First of all, as I said before, I have no ill intent towards you. First off I don’t deny that this is a public forum, that is 100% true.
However, I still hold to my point of view that you should temper your indignation.
When reading the article you should be cognisant of the fact that since it wasn’t written for you, there are things about it that will never make sense. If I wanted to make a criticism of shows such as the L Word or Queer as Folk, I couldn’t just go all out and then say that I can do it because I have a friend who is gay. I couldn’t do that because there are nuances spiked into those shows that only someone who is gay would get.
In addition to that, notice that almost no African ( at least I can’t think of one off the top of my head) man from the diaspora has been as critical as white women. Instead, many African men have either agreed with me, chuckled and nodded their head in agreement or just dismissed me as crazy.
Perhaps it might be that the people you are defending so vehemently don’t want or need to be defended.
Yet again, welcome to my humble abode full of idiosyncratic rumblings, pull up a chair and stay as long as you like 🙂
no worries. We are just discussing. I dont know if it has to do with the area of africa you were from; perhaps their are different views toward white women, but as my guy was from west africa, I can tell you with certainty HE does not share your view, or else he obviously would not be with ME;-) On a different note, I read a comment of yours about what you feel is africas patriachial society. Does this hold true of west africa? I must ask because my guy is possessive of me and easily jealous,and has some very dominant aspects to his personality. Mind you, I am not complaining about it tho,and actually find it a big turn on to hear,see,know he wants me THAT much.Its all in how one looks at it, I suppose. I was just wondering if its simply his personality, or is this a w. african thing?
Thank you for the welcome:-)
As a white woman who dates African men, this was quite amusing. When I first started dating black men, it was because I heard they liked big girls. I’m a big girl, not ugly, not huge, but not rail thin. I’d agree with many of these, at least for white women who are first starting their journey into the ‘black’ world, but I no longer feel like any of these pertain to me. I date African men because that’s what I want. They are gentler, they provide, they are intelligent and most are educated. They can’t keep their dicks to themselves but I guess that’s just something we have to deal with. Good post.
Mwangi,
I feel 100% percent where you’re coming from and you don’t have to explain one thing to these offended white chicks just because they realized how dumb they really look. You should have expanded the overweight category to “Overweight/Ugly Regardless of Weight”and I think most of these women talking about “I know I look good, ’cause in middle school a guy asked me out” would wake up. Every person getting mad has no right, and for the most part, they are most likely from all white neighborhoods and look at a black partner as cool….but us whites in the city are use to black people and look at them as regular everyday humans. Also, you should realize (or make further observations) that most of these chicks are Progressive Liberals and are consciously trying to get noticed and make a political statement, and trying to be controversial. Some white women (I think I read a comment from a woman above that fits this) date black men as to get a rouse out of white males, almost as if to get back at them for God knows what. They sometimes have white fathers that disapprove and its the ultimate act of rebellion. And in the end, all these chicks do is stir up animosity between the races…not only that, but the black men stir up hate between them and black women. In the end all you have is higher racial tensions in America…I feel like this guy
http://youtu.be/stmq-e3FTRE
@Christoph:I think the point you brought up is the seedy underbelly of this whole thing that is rarely brought up. To be quite frank, I was quite naive in that, I was always fully aware that many African women did it either fully or in part as an act of rebellion and a proverbial middle finger to their male counterparts but I never ever considered for years that perhaps white women were doing the same thing.
Now I can definitely say that this act of rebellion against some white males somewhere plays a huge part in a large number of these interracial relationships. Black men have been positioned as the bottom of the totem pole, bad boy, mandingo experience by society and some women who either want to “talk a walk on the dark side” or want to either feel like a rebel or either rebel use unwitting African men as a pawn in their “Rebel without a cause” game.
The really sad thing is that most African men keep it simple, they either wanna have some fun or some romance. Oh well, another interesting layer on what is already an interesting cake.
I’ve been lending a ear to this discussion for a couple of years now…..For god’s sake……. people are allowed be with whoever they want…..some people treat each other right and for ‘right ‘ reasons and some don’t…..some of us are insecure and some aren’t…..stop dissecting and analysing people to death…its their personal choice….. leave them the @#$% alone !!!
So, what of the thin,good looking ones that seem to be in good spirits with there BLACK MAN? Also, why do you care if an FAT and unattractive WW does date and reproduce with a African Male? Wouldn’t there be more attractive ones for you? I think that it doesn’t matterrather or not she was unattractive, have low self-esteem,on drugs,ir have watched interracial porn. I think that the fat she’s with a BLACK man or Abboriginal that has you ticked off. I understand I too was a deep seeded racist.
I think you guys are terrible in categorizing heavier set girls and claiming the only reason we end up with African guys is because of low self-esteem. I don’t think there is any way that this is possible. What the truth is you probably cannot grasp, but there are some of us who are not the least bit superficial. When it comes to dating, the African man is beautiful, attactive and sexy. I hope that my African man is not dating me because he is desperate. That would be a real blow because I know I don’t live up to the western streotype.
I sat here reading your blog thinking, wtf? I admit, I was slightly offended. But, then, I started reading replies that were even more stereotypical of white women than your blog was. LOL
In response to those who believe that we’re super liberal, rebelling against parents, have low self esteem, are fat, ugly, engage in criminal activity, or want “to be down”. I’m a liberal conservative. I wasn’t raised to look at people as different. My parents didn’t care who I dated nor date now, so, there’s no need to rebel against them. Have no criminal record. ETC ETC. I’ve never talked shit about black women. To feed into any of the beliefs that we should remain separate (being black or white) is what feeds the racism in this country and all over the world.
So…here’s my response to your post.
I’m a 35 year old white woman, in the US, who not only dates black men, but, also younger men. I don’t pursue them, they chase me. Yes, I still get IDed when I go out.
I’m not fat, nor skinny. Though I’m bigger than “average”. I’m described as thick.
What you say is true, in some regards. And yes, it not only makes the white women look like dumbasses, but, also the African men who date them (or whatever you want to call it).
My experiences with men from Africa, before I actually started dating them, were negative. From my experience, they were bossy, controlling, cheating, lying men. I swore I’d never date one. *again…another stereotype
Now, I’ve dated a Kenyan, a couple of men from Gabon, a Liberian, and the guy who’s interested in me now is from Cameroon. I actually was googling what other women’s experiences with were with dating men from Cameroon. After my last experience with a man from Gabon, I swore I would never date another African man. LOL And here I am, considering it. There are good and bad people regardless of race or nationality.
Seriously, the last experience (the 2nd guy from Gabon) sounded like he’d read your blog before. When I ended our friendship/relationship, he decided I was too old and too ugly for him. LOL I guess that remark DOES work with some women. He said that I was a typical old white bitch who chases after young boys (yes, he called himself a boy). He’s 27, which is actually older than the last boyfriend I had. All this, after months of him chasing me.
And yet, his friends have told him he’s stupid for what he’s done.
I know I’m rambling now, but, I wanted to thank you for writing this…however long ago it was. Those attitudes, sadly, still exist. And I think it’s evident where some narrow minded red neck hillbillies’ beliefs stand.
LOL! I love your blog man you’re all right. I read your article and I was happy you wrote it. Keep up the great work love the humor and laid back style. Great pictures too! Hope you find what you are looking for 🙂
I just came across this blog (funny how all comments start like that) and even though my boyfriend is african I must admit that I myself have noticed each and every one of those stereotypes, and its actually quite sad for both parties. The true tragedy though is not that these things happen but the fact that those stereotypes might even jeopardize wonderfully healthy relationships. Like mentioned my boyfriend is african and im (white) european and our relationship is WONDERFUL i found my soulmate and my best friend, but the tragedy is when people find out about my boyfriend being african (at least the ones that have not met him) I used to always feel like I need to justify everything to NOT appear like one of those stereotypes. It got to the point where i stopped caring luckily, but isnt that really sad though? I think if people in general where just more comfortable in their own skin we would have way fewer “victimes” of the stereotypes you described above?
I went to an international school meaning i think 95% of the worlds countries was represented so in turn we did not even have ENOUGH kids from a nation for stereotypes to start so i grew up in a bubble and seeing the “real world” is actually pretty sad but its human nature to stereotype because thats what makes us feel comfortable and we all do it to some extent, but i do hope that people begin to have more of an open mind before making any pre judgements or assumptions
and btw it seems i have been proven wrong but i still find it VERY hard to believe that some females chose black males because of their “mandingo” – the world really is not as sex obsessed as media tries to make it out to be (let me correct, western media)
hi , well i read what you put and laughed so much . you are very true in many ways . i am what you think is a stereo lol. i am over weight and yes living in England with its narrow minded people have got a low self image . im not ugly in side or out , i have come to realize that many people who are beautiful ( slim pretty ) dont always have good qualities ,many are self obsessed and can be very cruel to imperfections in others. i love a beautiful african man very much and by writing what you have you degrade the good men out there. do you not know that any woman with half a brain knows what you said is true for many men but women have needs at the end of the night same as you lol. they know you may not choose them if you had another option but for a short time they feel loved and sexy. most women who are fat have had to work on there personalities , and i think they have been raised to have food in the fridge by women who cared for there families and it was the sign of a good woman . the drugs thing i cant comment on as i dont do drugs . W hat i really wanted to say is , whats lost in england that i find in african man is the sense of joy and fun , when your eyes light up the world and you talk with intelligence and passion . im not saying english men are not intelligent but they for me have lost something my dad and uncles had , FUN. so please treat my sisters with love and respect , they may not have had much . god bless too all , if we believed what god said , all men women are made equal .
Hello there. I read and thoroughly enjoyed your article. I am a British born African woman and I must admit I have seen what you described in your blog and it has actually been confirmed my some of my friends who are big and white. I, myself am an overweight female working hard to lose weight, but I go out on dates and enjoy in general and I don’t take rubbish from any man just because I am big. I have quite a lot of confidence and it starts from within. I have been on dates with both black and white men and with men who like big women and even those who don’t and what I realise is that in the end, men just like a confident woman who shows that she feels good in herself. I have gone clubbing with my slim friends and my big friends at different clubs, but my big white friends prefer to go to clubs for bigger women which has more black African men on the scene than white. There have been times when I have sat down just to observe the people in the club and what I’ve seen is black going mainly for big white girls because the black women tend to not tolerate the way the men seem to grow eight hands and want to put them everywhere. Also it is guaranteed that they will be leaving with a white woman. I discussed this with my friends and they do agree that big white women are more accommodating than black women in more ways than one and one of my friends admitted that she preferred African men because white men don’t like big white women and if they wanted a big woman, they would rather she be black. Apparently we move differently and act differently, according to her.
I do have to agree with Mwangi that quite a number of black African men do go with big white women because it is an easier life for them as she will do a lot for them to keep them. Black women would just tell them to hit the road. It is down to self esteem.
Speaking as an African, I am sad to say that there are some African men look for an easy life and don’t want to work for what they want, but hey! Good news is that its not all African men.