Ladies, I love you, I adore you and God made you more beautiful than the roof of Sistine Chapel. In addition to that, some of you have genuine reasons to complain, after all, a lot of the time, men are well (no offence fellas) useless really. Just selfish users who don’t bring much to your life. HOWEVER, for the love of all that is peaceful and pure: please stop complaining so much.

Aah Stories from Puppy Love

I remember when I was a wee tyke I once met this girl and we began talking on the phone. Now at the time I had the smoothness and the subtlety of a wrecking ball so I barreled along until eventually she rejected me with, “You are so immature.” I was a teenager, so…….anyway……Years later, I began to reflect on what we talked about whenever we were on the phone and it went a little something like this:

Cue the Narcissism

I love chocolate. One time I was walking and eating some caramel, with some nuts and mint, Cadbury oh-my-goodness-it-was-just-melting-in-my-mouth-chocolate and this boy came to talk to me. I told him psssshhhh, I don’t talk to boys when I’m eating chocolate.

One time I was talking to my friend and this boy interrupted us to talk to me and I was like (three guesses) pssshhh, you can’t interrupt me when I am talking to my friends.

And Then These Delightful Creatures Grow Up to Become Women

Just to be clear, I did not make the above dialogue up. Now that I am older, I realized that a lot of the conversations I have with women are opportunities for women to complain:

You will never guess the stressful day I had, the people at work/ the lecturers did/this tramp did……..(30 minute complaint session)

X person is such a (insert expletive here), they did………..(30 minute monologue).

You will never believe the (expletive) that tried to hit on me today, he actually tried (latest technique that playas and pick up artists are trying), the loser he…..(30 minute soliloquy)

It’s Just Me!

I don’t know if I am alone on this one, but I honestly don’t want to take 30 minutes to learn what you don’t like about the world and it’s current state. Instead I would love to take those 30 minutes and:

a) Find out what you like. What turns you on about this life so I can give you more of it.

b) What you like that I like: We will definitely do more and have more of that.

c) Solving your problems. You know what happens when you have a problem?A solution

But That’s How Women Are…..

I know that a lot of you are saying…….

“But that’s how women are. We work through our problems by ranting and raving about them, meditating on them and having a cry about them. We start the venting on you, not for your benefit, but for ours because we know once the vent is over, whether or not a solution has been reached, we will feel better.”

Here’s Where I am Coming From

Well that’s fair enough. I know there will be those times when you just need a friend/lover/brother/cousin/basically a man to just listen to you and try to understand and empathize with where you are coming from.

Please understand, there will be days when it will be too much and your unleashing of stress will have the melodic timbre of nails being drawn across a chalk board. At times, empathize with me and I will empathize with you.

Understand that:

1. I never burden you with a problem unless I am thinking through the solution with you at the same time.

2. I exist and do my best to make you the happiest and best person I think you can be.

So understand that many a time I will look at it as nothing but needless whining that can be solved. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the fact that you trust me enough to share your inner most turmoil. I’m just sharing some of my turmoil with you.

As a Great Western Poet Once Said say xoxoxo,

Let’s make love and not complain today,

Mwangi

NB: To see the levels of exasperation that this can lead to -from someone who is a much better listener than I (and is a woman) please check out Shiroh’s post on people who ask for advice but don’t act on it.