Let’s recap on what we have discussed so far:

1) One Thing We MUST Begin Doing NOW As African Immigrants

2) What Every African Immigrant Ought to Know About Recording and Sharing Success

This article has been written to give  you some ideas about areas where we as African immigrants need to share useful information with each other on a mass scale. It has two parts:

1) What I personally think is more important and what I value. MORE IMPORTANTLY:

2) What I have observed we as a community need to learn

What I Have Observed We Need to Learn

Getting Started Making an Income

Here folks need all the help they can get. There are a few situations when it’s especially necessary:

a) When a young adult arrives in a foreign country never having worked or been job searching a day in their life.

b) When someone comes from a poor family who put all their financial resources to send them abroad and have left them on their own.

c) People who are transferring over to a country to pursue an occupation but have a long transition, preparation and “one-more-damn-form-to-fill” period between their overseas arrival and working in their job.

Here people need to know where they can begin making money instantly. Not necessarily a lot, though if you know how, do tell. Just enough to get by.

One of the aims of this blog is to explore “alternative and unique” ways this can be done so that this is never a problem.

Material Success

Once people do get a job and begin working, and if their visa is in order, there is a tendency to get very very comfortable and stuck in a rut. You’re not growing. You’re not making as much of a contribution as you can to your community. You are not even close to maximizing your potential.

This is where people who have succeeded materially at an extraordinary level need to begin writing autobiographies and how tos so that they reignite the passions of the comfortable and give them a new pinnacle to aim towards.

Relationships

This is the area we’ll ask for the least help in and yet know the least about. One of the worst consequences of losing our tribal societies is we lost a sense of continuity of education in this area of relationships.

This world is constantly changing so fast that the rules that governed our parents aren’t the same rules that govern us and probably won’t be the same relationship rules that govern our kids. (As a sidenote, have you ever stopped to think about how weird, or probably repulsive, a lot of our generation’s sexual habits would be to our grandparents….we have changed A LOT as a people)

As long as there is this thing called man, and there is this thing called woman, majority of us will always be sexually attracted to each other and feel kinda incomplete if we don’t at least have some relationship with members of the opposite sex.

Why something so quintessential to the human experience isn’t part of the everyday school syllabus but logarithms are is beyond me.

As an immigrant it’s even worse. Not only were there “no solid rules” to begin with, but now you are in a country where the rules are entirely different. A world where people are more and more about “private space” and “individual ambition” as opposed to “just sitting connecting and sharing”.

When I began writing this section, I thought I was just talking about romantic relationships. I have realized I am not, even platonic relationships. If you have any sort of rock solid bond with another human being abroad in spite of the circumstances, you need to share this.

What I Think We Need to Know?

Marketing Impulse Control

We need to sit down and teach future immigrants how to avoid constantly jumping on the next material trend and entering themselves into debt so that they can live like a rich man on a pauper’s salary.

This is just my personal issue though. I don’t see why you should be buying leather seats, a plasma screen TV and a sports car when you have to work 14 hour days just to pay for all of that. Shouldn’t you build your financial foundation on a life of frugality first and then once you actually HAVE an excess of capital, live like you do?

Eating Healthy

Next time you are in an African function, look to your left, then look to your right and then look to the center. Tell me how many of those people have love handles that can only come from excess junk consumption or if not how many have a very high metabolism that pretty much gets rid of any signs of junk in take.

We eat like crap more often than not. We need to eat better. We have greater access to information and are much smarter than that.

Unique Immigrant Experiences

If you have gone off the beaten path and done things that people thought were undoable abroad, record your tales and share them with your fellow immigrant and enlighten us that we constantly remember that no life is not static and human life is indeed a fluid concept.

All breakthroughs and great innovations come from outside of the boxes, mental or otherwise that we chose to live within. Share your insights from outside this box and help the people within it expand.

Can you think of any other areas we need to record success? Have any thoughts on the matter? Leave a comment below.

In the next, and me thinks, final edition of this series, I will share some quick ideas on just how to present your message to make it most compelling and useful to other African immigrants.

Ladies and gentlemen if you have not, please sign up for and give me feedback on:

The Immigrant Survivor Guide Newsletter

If you are a fan of this article or blog, I encourage you to join and give me feedback ( ) on my Immigrant Survivor Guide Newsletter by putting your first name and email address in the boxes below.

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

In newsletter, once a week I send you short emails that give you actionable tips that you can immediately apply to make your immigrant experience better including tips on:

i) Making friends

ii) Finding employment

iii) How to stay healthy on the run

iv) Things to prepare before you immigrate

v) Staying in touch with people from your home country

vi) Tips on how to transition from a student to a permanent resident and/or citizen in Australia etc etc.

So please join, and give me feedback, by putting your first name and email in the boxes below:

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

In the first article in this series, I made the case for African immigrants recording and sharing in mass all their successes so that future immigrants have a shorter learning curve than those who came before them.

Today we’ll expand on just how we might be able to go about this

Mwangi What’s In It For Me

I wish I could tell you that your doing this will somehow make you a millionaire or the King of the World, but it won’t.

In doing so, you give back to the community from which you came and help raise up  future generations-or rather a future boat load of immigrants -”to your level” quicker so that all our boats can rise together and we can become the economic and social powerhouse that we know we can be.

I don’t know about you, but personally, I know I would not be as far along as I am in my life had people not taken the time out of their busy day to invest in me and my future.

Mwangi I Have No Expertise

That’s the wash of a hog, that is. If you are in a foreign country and you have a roof over your head, then you have a skill a future African immigrant needs to know about. If you have any form of hard earned income coming in, you have something to share.

If you have a rock-solid relationship in this Western world where everyone is a commodity, you have something to share. If you have had trials and tribulations and overcome, you have something to share. If you have been abroad and the culture shock has not driven you mad, you have something to share.

Alright, Alright, Alright, I Accept, I Have a Tip or Two to Share: How Do I Do It?

I think the primary principle we should remember is:

The information and the intention are most important. The Internet, blogs, telephone, letters, newspapers, radio etc etc are all just distribution tools.

The tools are not the ends in and of themselves.

These tools are used to disseminate information guided by a particular intention - e.g. the intention to see future immigrants do better. (Please tell me in the comments section if this idea is too abstract and I will describe it in another way that will make it clearer)

Here are a couple of ideas on how to do it:

a) Share on a blog: You knew I had to give this tip. Blogs are free to start up and if you want to host it yourself, it’s so cheap there really is no reason not to.

Speaking from personal experience, the greatest advantage that blogging provides, if you choose to follow in my footsteps or the footsteps of people like Thinkers Room, is that it strengthens and proliferates your brand and your name within a particular community both online and offline. Not a bad side effect for doing something positive.

b) Community Forums: Almost every African country, and in many places we as a continent have an online community. Whether its a forum, social bookmarking site, blog aggregator or just a blog where many people gather. Head on over there and assist anyone who might be making the move to a new country or is a newbie immigrant that needs some tips.

c) Get some penpals: If you know that someone in your community is about to immigrate over, start talking by phone, email or letter. Let him know how he can do things that you did. Give him some tips, some shortcuts, some ways to go around, under, above or through obstacles.

d) Give lectures at immigration organizations: If you are visiting your home country, go to the institution that helps people immigrate and just offer yourself up to give a talk during their lunch break about the pitfalls to avoid and the opprtunities to be seized abroad.

e) Write free reports: This is a tactic from the world of Internet marketing. You sit down and right everything you know about a particular topic that can be of use to other people and compile it into a free pdf report. Help that report circulate online.

I intend on doing this in the very near future so if you have no idea how to do this, check back in a couple of months and hopefully we’ll have a succesful model.

f) If You Know People from Mass Media Centres: Then go on the radio, tv or newspapers and just talk to the journalist about what future boat-crossers need to know.

For examples of this check out the Displaced African Press and Media Appearances page, and also check out SARFM radio every 2nd Saturday of every month where as of yesterday, I will be doing just that.

g) Youtube: It’s the 3rd most popular website on Earth, according to Alexa, and all you need to do to join in the frenzy is buy a cheap web cam. Check out the Displaced African Youtube page here. For examples of succesful African Youtube pages check out:

i) Ikahara

ii) AfricanRemix

Quick tip: If you can find a way to mix in music into your Youtube page that is a sure recipe for success. Poll after poll, article after article and simple observation will reveal that music is hands down the most popular thing on Youtube.

h) Podcasting: Again, an incredibly cheap and easy to implement endeavor. Put your podcasts on Itunes and they are accessible to millions.

Some Examples of What This Would Look Like

Not all these examples are specific to African immigrants:

1) Kelly’s article on Interview tips: Now picture this, tips for interviewing for a job in the States.

2) How to immigrate to Australia within a week guide.

3) Tips from an African Woman Who Started and Sold a Business for Six Figures.

4) Acolyte’s guide to apartment hunting.

5) Mwangi interviews Tabitha Togoi from the African Leadership Academy

6) Gal africana talks a bit about holiday visas

7) Nelson Mandela’s autobiography
Mwalimu.com

9) Dan Kennedy’s Google Videos

In the final part of this series, I will talk a bit about the areas that I feel we most need to record and share our successes so we can take this concept and talk about where we can immediately apply it.

The Newsletter

If you are a fan of this article or blog, I encourage you to join and give me feedback ( ) on my Immigrant Survivor Guide Newsletter by putting your first name and email address in the boxes below.

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

In newsletter, once a week I send you short emails that give you actionable tips that you can immediately apply to make your immigrant experience better including tips on:

i) Making friends

ii) Finding employment

iii) How to stay healthy on the run

iv) Things to prepare before you immigrate

v) Staying in touch with people from your home country

vi) Tips on how to transition from a student to a permanent resident and/or citizen in Australia etc etc.

So please join, and give me feedback, by putting your first name and email in the boxes below:

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

So What Must We Begin Doing NOW as an African Immigrant Community

We must make it a habit and/or a ritual to record any and all successes we have as African immigrants AND share them with our fellow African immigrants who may not be “up to our level”, no matter how small or large our successes.

Why is This Important?

Let me ask you a question: How many of you STRUGGLED when you first landed abroad?

You struggled to understand the weird words that were coming out of the foreigner’s mouth. You struggled to understand why they weren’t talking and acting like normal people would.

You struggled with public transport. You struggled getting your first job. You struggled on your first day of class. You struggled to understand all the paperwork and documentation necessary to make things happen.

Important Question

Now, how many people came before you and went through just what you went through? How many do you think took as much if not more time to get to pretty much where you are?

Reducing a Learning Curve

What if JUST ONE of those people who came before you said:

OK! I am now relatively settled in this place. Boy that adjusting and acclimatization process was rough. I don’t want other folks to have it that hard, spending 3 years just to say “they got here”. I think I will put this down into a free manual and just share it with all the new arrivals when I pick them up at the airport or see them in the church or community gatherings.

Though the Above Idea is Just an Abstract Example…….

….it’s not a ridiculous impossibility. Just think about how much quicker the learning curve would be for the incoming immigrant had JUST ONE guide from JUST ONE immigrant.

Now imagine if 5 immigrants got together,exchanged notes and did the exact same thing. So where one person was weak, or wrong or went the long way, someone shows them the alternative better or shorter way.  Where there were other holes in one view of the world, someone else covered them up. How much shorter would their learning curve be?

This Happened For Real

By far, one of my least popular, “but so useful I think it should do well” series is How to Immigrate to Australia within a week (most of the hyperlinks above are from that series). That guide actually got written after I helped a new person settle into the country.

The first day she arrived in the country, she already had a job. Within a fortnight she had:

a) A bank account that was transferring money to and from her country.

b) Accomodation and all the accomodation accesories bought and paid for.

c) An understanding of how to get around by public and private transport.

d) Knew the websites and places where one could find work.

Now, when I started job hunting, it took me close to 6 months to find my first job. She managed to get a job on HER FIRST DAY.

This simple habit can save people so much on time, money and emotional energy it’s not even funny.

Don’t We Already Do This?

Now to a large extent we as an African community already do this in a very informal person-to-person way. When my family and I first arrived, there was a family that showed us around and told us things like:

People will always want to touch your hair. They love natural African hair.

But what I am talking about is:

a) Sitting down putting it into a form that can be mass distributed and mass consumed.

b) Distributing it so that one man’s insights can reduce the learning curve of many, not just immigrants.

In short, how the lessons from one man can help elevate the consciousness and decision making of other children of the soil about to make a trans-ocean migration.

On the next article in this series I will talk about HOW we can go about doing this effectively.

To become a part of my attempt at doing what I have just described check out:

The Newsletter

If you are a fan of this article or blog, I encourage you to join and give me feedback ( ) on my Immigrant Survivor Guide Newsletter by putting your first name and email address in the boxes below.

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

In newsletter, once a week I send you short emails that give you actionable tips that you can immediately apply to make your immigrant experience better including tips on:

i) Making friends

ii) Finding employment

iii) How to stay healthy on the run

iv) Things to prepare before you immigrate

v) Staying in touch with people from your home country

v) Tips on how to transition from a student to a permanent resident and/or citizen in Australia etc etc.

So please join, and give me feedback, by putting your first name and email in the boxes below:

I Hate Spam, So I Won’t Share Your Email With Anyone.

I am going to share with you two stories. As I do, use them as metaphors and I really hope you can see yourself in these stories.

Story Number 1: Lessons from Camp

That wall may as well have been 80,000 feet tall. Don’t get me wrong. When you were standing at the foot of it looking at all those plastic pieces up the wall that were meant to imitate rocks, the indoor rock-climbing wall didn’t really look that tall. But once your hands and feet were on the rocks and off the ground, then it got real!

Nervousness

I felt a tinge of nervousness, but nothing I had never felt before and I just kept on going. Once I got to within 5 feet of my destination and about 15 feet of the ground (you know what for the rest of this story, let’s assume I am climbing the Everest on a minus 39 degree day and I am 3,000 feet above ground and much closer to the top than to the ground….increases drama ) then something else hit my consciousness:

I have never done this before and there is a possibility I might feel.

Combine general anxiety with specific anxiety like that and you get yourself one fine stew of fear. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to look stupid…..

What Would You Have Done?

I stop at this point to ask

What would you have done? Would you have:

1) Stopped climbing, let go and waited for the instructor to slowly bring you down.
2) Kept climbing at the same speed and tempo, putting the fear to the side.
3) Smothered the fear down with indignation and pressed on with a fury that can only be compared to one woman scorned by twenty other previously scorned women.
4) Fear, what fear? That aint no Everst man: get over it!

What Mwangi Did

Do you sometimes surprise myself? Well, I certainly did. It was indoor rock climbing. I was safely harnessed, about five people had gone up the “mountain” easily already.

But, I disconnected. I don’t just mean physically, I mean psychologically. I didn’t want this pressure anymore, I didn’t want to feel this and so I simply let go. First my mind shut off and about twenty seconds later, I let go and fell back to the ground making myself the first and only person who never climbed on first attempt.

Story Number Two: The Kid Grows

As I stood behind that wooden stage, I suddenly remembered two years ago. It was a simple enough concept:

Step one: Take an ordinary sack
Step two: Take that sack to the nearest tailor and get him to craft for me a smashing set of clothing, both top and bottom.
Step three: Take the new half-jacket, short ensemble and wear it backstage.
Step four: Model the sack-turned-to-clothes set for the whole school on stage with my main man D who would be quite smashing in a blanket suit.

But that day there was a step five that went a little something like this:

Step five: Feel the terror slowly begin to crescendo the closer I got to backstage. Feel the fear, disconnect and refuse to go on stage. Have teachers come and beg me to go on stage while I indignantly refused. Experience the wonderful humiliation of one teacher taking the sack cloth off me, going on stage and model it to the cat calls of all the cute girls in the school.

And here I was two years later, still in my teens……and the lights went off:

I burst through that door and gave my 110%. Anytime the fear came up, it was wonderfully sublimated to passion, to anger, to excitement and whatever emotion the scene called for. I had actually grown, the kid had learned something.

A Few Questions

Take a moment today and figure out, how do you respond when the heat is on? Does it serve you? Does it hurt you? Does it make anything or anyone better? If not, perhaps consider a different approach when the heat is on.
What do you do? Do you run away? Do you suppress it with sex, drugs, hip hop, alcohol and rock and roll?
Secondly, have you grown over the past few years in terms of how you respond to the heat? Is the way you respond today any better than how you responded a few years ago?

Final Thought

As human beings we are not static creatures that have a fixed identity that MUST remain for the rest of our lives. Sure a lot of us get stuck in a rut and CHOOSE to stay there for the rest of our lives because it’s comfortable and easy. But we don’t have to. And I hope today I have reminded you that.

“Mount Everest Returns”

I eventually got on that wall and I did climb all the way to the top. I wasn’t fast, I wasn’t elegant and heck, it wasn’t even complete, but I did. I didn’t do it so I could be crowned champion of climbing walls, though that would be nice. I didn’t do it for accolades, they didn’t exist for climbing that wall.
I did it so I could do something, no matter how small, to prove to myself that at any moment in time, I can do better, I can grow. Go Mount your Everest today. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

If you want to hear more about my experiences and insights, make sure you subscribe to this site via RSS or email to receive regular updates.

Your friend and fan,
Mwangi

This podcast is dedicated to all my people who have read more information than they could ever use.

Just a thought: Ladies and gentlemen, though I am slowly beginning to feel comfortable behind the mic, I can see I am still far from being the presenter I want to be so let me promise you – so I can be accountable – that over time, I must improve my presentation skills on this podcast.

If you want to join me in this revolution to read less and do more, make sure you hear the latest headlines from the revolutionary mill via either RSS or email.

PS: If you are in South Africa or have folk living in South Africa, please check out some of these resources from White African that may be useful during this time of xenophobic attacks.

How many emotions do you experience in a day?

How many negative emotions do you experience in a day?

How many positive emotions do you experience in a day?

According to Answer.com an emotion is:

A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling

Bring on the List

We recently got into a discussion with gal africana about how many emotions we experience in a day.

Gal, after much careful investigative work (with readers like gal, I really don’t need to work do I?) managed to find a comprehensive list of the human emotions that we are able to experience as people. The list is attached below as a pdf file (which needs Adobe Reader to read):

Comprehensive List of Emotions

Gal told me she was surprised that after reading the list: she realized she experienced a lot more emotions in a day than she initially thought. Now as I write this I haven’t looked at a list.

In absence of that, I think, I experience 2 emotions: mild anxiety and flow (state where I am high, happy, exuberant and full of life). Now, in real time like 24 people, I will examine the list and tell you the results.

Drum roll Please……..

In a typical day, I experience:

35 positive emotions

19 neutral emotions and;

30 negative emotions

84 EMOTIONS IN TOTAL ON A TYPICAL DAY

That’s Way More Than I Would Have Ever Thought

Who would have thought I could experience so much sitting in the house working on a computer! So today I challenge you to examine how many of the emotions in the pdf file you experience in a typical day.

A Little Game I Invented: Emotional Switch Game

A little something I came up with I call, the Emotional SWITCH! game (I didn’t want it to be some cryptic name like Emotions from the Abyss, so let’s stick with a nice, simple, straightforward name alright).

The basic point of the game is this:

1. Pick one negative or neutral emotion that you experience regularly.

2. Replace it with a positive emotion that you would like to experience in its place. Example: Instead of anxiety, you would like to feel assertiveness.

3. For the next 24 hour period (or longer if you wish), any time you feel anxious immediately replace feelings of anxiety with feelings of assertiveness i.e. any time you experience the negative or neutral emotion replace it with the positive one.

4. Rinse and repeat until you are consistently feeling the positive emotion instead of the negative or neutral one.

How to Make Yourself Feel Something

Right now let me take this little intermission to discuss ways in which we can make ourselves feel something e.g. How we can make ourselves feel assertive when we are feeling anxious. There are a few ways I know of, credit Tony Robbins for this knowledge:

1. External stimulus: When I watch African American movies I feel very confident, strong and assertive. When I watch a lot of indie films I feel depressed and scared. When I listen to R&B I feel safe, confident and secure. When I listen to hip hop, I feel aggressive. This is in no way a novel idea: Certain forms of media or other forms of external stimulus (including food, people, places, toys and things) make us feel certain ways. Surround yourself with things that make you feel assertive as much as is possible on the day you want to replace anxiety with assertiveness.

2. Remember and recall your internal dialogue when you feel something: You ever noticed how the way you talk inside your head sounds very different depending on how you’re feeling. When I am in a state of euphoria or ecstasy or joy, I don’t think. I maybe have one thought every fifteen minutes but other than that I just am and you may think you are conversing with a conscious, thoughtful being….nah, I’m just letting whatever is in my subconscious flow out. When I am anxious, I THINK! I sit and I over-analyze everything. I think about this blog. I think about the future. I think about my health. I tend to do it in a very progressive, Socratic, detached fashion and I have done pretty much the same thing for four years. What goes on in your head when you are assertive. What song plays in your head? What do you say to yourself? What images do you see? Bring them all back whenever you are feeling anxious and flood it all out with the assertive mental material.

   

3. Use your body the same way you do when you feel the desired emotion: Strictly speaking, what we should do here is pretty much manipulate our body so that we take on the same body language we have when we feel assertive. In my experience though, this hasn’t worked out -not to say it doesn’t, it works extremely well from some. It didn’t work for me because as I would be manipulating my body I would tend to over-think the experience. Therefore my general strategy-not always applicable-is to either go for a run or dance in a very aggressive manner when you feel the anxiety (or -ve emotion you don’t want). This results in you stepping out of your head and focusing on the run and/or the dance. This movement tends to result in a much better emotional state and from there go towards the emotional state you are after- like say the assertiveness.

And In Conclusion

One of the intentions behind the game is to remind ourselves, because we always forget, just how much control we have over our emotional states when you choose to focus on them. Once your confidence in your abilities to manipulate your emotional state have been reaffirmed, slowly move yourself towards a place where your day will be predominantly filled with positive emotions all the time.

In truth, I don’t think we’ll ever be rid of negative emotions because sometimes we need them. But that shouldn’t stop us from creating a head and heart space that is mainly about feeling good.

By the way, out of curiosity:

a) What is your favorite emotion? Mine are two: flow and quiet bliss ( I don’t know the exact name for it, but it’s a feeling where I am quiet, safe, secure and yet have like a volcano of joy just bubbling inside)

b) How many emotions do you experience in a day?

If you know your personal answer answer to any of these questions, leave a comment below and let me know what it is.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi.

]]> http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/04/how-rich-is-your-emotional-experience/feed/ 0 http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/04/how-to-feel-at-home/ http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/04/how-to-feel-at-home/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:17:26 +0000 Mwangi http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/?p=169

“So where’s home?” Continued from yesterday’s conversation about “What recharges you?”

We recently had a visit from an English woman who had grown up in Kenya. The part of the conversation that resonated with me the most was when she asked:

“You have been here six years. Do you feel like this is your home yet? My boys (she had sons who had grown up in Kenya) have been here quite a long while but still consider Kenya home.”

Interesting, I thought. Home! Home! Home! Let’s talk about that place, where whether you go East or West is best.

What Do I Mean By Home?

Now for the sake of clarity let me be clear on what I mean by the word home. By home, I am not referring to the physical structure that protects you from wind, hail and stalkers. Rather I am referring to that place that makes you feel one of or a combination of the following:

a) Safe

b) Comfortable

c) Well protected

d) Loved

e) Free to be yourself.

After all, aren’t the above what most of us feel when we remember home. After a long, hard, scary day at work, we trudge home through the wind and rain so that we can get to that warm place where we can take off our shoes, unwind and just be. This place may not even be your residential address. It may be your local church or bible study group. It may be your local bar or hangout. It may even be your spouses home. Wherever that place is, where your troubles melt away and you feel most at peace, least on edge: THAT’S HOME!

Home Away From Home

So maybe, you flew out ‘because everyone else is doing it’. Maybe you flew out because you could no longer stay home. Maybe you flew out pursuing a job. Maybe your parents surprised you with some money, some air tickets and a letter from a University that has a weird sounding name. However, you left Mama Africa and you are now abroad ( by the way, if you are, welcome, from a diaspora veteran). You have now been ripped away from that place you call home and are now all alone in this foreign land with foreign places, foreign languages and foreign ideas about where home is. How exactly can you get back home in the middle of this land far far away. Simple: Recreate your home.

What Makes Your Home a Home

I have two types of home. My first home is my house. Here I feel safe in the solitude that is provided to me by quiet nights. It is in this home that I do all my heavy mental work. It is here that I write this blog, study, learn and plan how I will become a better human being every single night.

My second home is anything that has to do with making people feel something. You need someone to speak in public, I’m there as long as I can make the audience feel something. You need someone to have a breezy conversation with, am there as long as you laugh.

My first home is home because I feel safe and protected within it and undisturbed and free to explore under the cover of night. My second home is home because I feed off energy from people. Believe it or not, when someone likes me, the high I get from that can keep me going for days on end. I feel safe in the fact that I can actually connect with my fellow human being because the way I see it, if you can connect with people, regardless of where you are and how poor you are, you will be better than you would be otherwise.

This Knowledge is Critical

Basically the reason I told that story is so that you have a frame of reference when I ask you, what make your home feel like home? What type of environment do you need in order for you to feel safe, protected and/or loved? Do you need a place where you feel connected to another person? Do you need a place where you can have deep, intimate conversation? Do you need a place where you can just think? Do you need a place where you can let your aggression lose? Do you need some quiet time? Do you need a place where you feel in control?

When you know what type of place feels like home, you are now equipped to begin seeking it out. The diaspora may be lacking in a lot of things, but not in places to go and things to do. Armed with the knowledge of what your home should be like, you can begin to go exploring different places all searching for that home.

As I have said in previous posts, once you find your home, once you find that place where you can just be, there is nothing quite like it.

What’s Your Perception of the Diaspora

A second element to this discussion is how do you perceive your country of immigration as a whole. In general, there are three ways you can look at your new country.

1) Home

2) Transition point between two homes

3) A Place that Just Isn’t Home

Though I have been here close to six years, this place feels like a transition point between two homes. It feels as though I was put here to learn and grow so that I could go back to my place of birth, aka sweet Mama Africa. If you feel like I do, then it brings greater purpose into everyday existence abroad. After all, you must get ready, prepare and learn so that you can seek out and/or build and then maintain your home once you have left the transition point you are currently in. So, look at yourself like one of those samurais in a Jet Li movie that has been banished from home and needs to train for years before returning home to as the greatest samurai ever who will save the kingdom from attack (I know Jet Li is Chinese and the Samurai tradition is Japanese but you get my point………)

If you feel like the diaspora is home, then share with your fellow immigrants how you managed to fit into a place that at times can feel like a vast wasteland. There are a lot of people who need help figuring out just what to make of this place. Hell, even I would love to hear it. You are already way ahead of the curve. Please drag the rest of us along.

Finally, if this place doesn’t feel like home at all, then read the preceding sections of this post and go about creating semi-homes here in the diaspora. As soon as possible work on finding or creating that place of quiet strength, comfort and stability. Maybe start hanging around solid, stable family people who shy away from drama. Maybe find a job in your local place of worship. Maybe find work with the elderly or the youth, where there is little threat to you. Whatever you need, seek it out and once you have found it embrace it.

We All Need Homes

After all, we all need homes. We all get tired and we all need to recharge. So please don’t take this gift from yourself. Leave a comment or get in touch with me to let me know what’s happening.

Now go home,

Mwangi

Hey hey hey,

Sorry, I have been a little bit slack over the last week in terms of blogging. A truly great lady passed away last week and I am working on an article to remember her amongst other great things so I have been kinda gone but this blog is far from forgotten.

Anyway, I am a member of the Melbourne Personal Growth Meetup Group and tomorrow they will be having a meetup that I am extraordinarily interested in but will be unable to attend due to pre-set plans with the love sickness. Anyway, I just had a quick look at a free PDF report that the man presenting put out and I thought I would share it with y’all and get your thoughts. So read through it (it is a PDF file and to read it, you need Adobe Reader) and leave some comments or email me letting me know what you think of it.

Mistakes that Migrants and Overseas Students Make(FREE PDF REPORT)

I just read an article from the White Africans on mobile phones in Africa and one idea that has absolutely struck a chord with me is paying for things with mobile credit:

This means instead of having to pay for bus rides with money you can simply transfer credit from your phone to the driver or conductor’s phone. After all, isn’t it simply transferring value you already possess to someone else who may need that value in exchange for something you want.

To me, this is absolutely brilliant innovation. According to this post, also from the White African, mobile phones have absolutely swamped Africa. Both my grandparents, even without full, constant access to electricity own mobile phones. Apparently in countries like South Africa there are more mobile phones in rotation than there are people. To say that mobile phones are quintessential in Africa at the moment is like saying that soccer is just another sport, i.e. a gross understatement. If we were to sit down and think about how we can use this knowledge to improve our local economies, I have a hunch the effects could be continent-shattering. Just a thought

I am starting to feel like my blog is redundant when I read articles such as these from M that pretty much say exactly what I want to say, exactly the way I want to say it

Finally (huh, I guess I did have something to say today, I thought this post would be way shorter), reading this poem from Mshairi got me to thinking about the education system and so this is what I had to say after reading the poem:

I think this can act as a metaphor for our entire education system not only in Kenya and Africa but throughout the world. We teach and learn logarithms, fractions and about latent heat but there are no classes on how to have ideal relationships, or in Africa courses on how to survive when you can’t earn money. Education should be a reflection of society’s necessities. What we have at the moment is a society where education is a neccesity no matter how vacuous it is.

Be blessed&bless othaz,

Mwangi

Hello, hello. I thought I would take a break from the writing for a couple of days and recharge my batteries a little bit. It would be an outrage for me to leave y’all high and dry and so I thought I would enlist the help of someone I met via this blog, Coach Caroline. Definitely one of the most interesting and passionate people I have spoken to in quite a while. Below she outlines some of the things that stand in the way of immigrants living the best lives possible. I hope it is of service to you. Leave comments below and I will get back to you as soon as I get back. Be blessed and bless others, Mwangi!

1. Negative people or dream killers.

A negative person is anyone who creates doubt and fear in you and pours cold water on your dreams with the intention of bringing your plans to a grinding halt. They are people who have resigned themselves to living unfulfilled lives and whose negative comments, toxic attitudes or actions are designed to cause loss of confidence either in yourself or in your abilities—if you allow it!

Sharing your dreams with the wrong person can be suicidal for your dream. Say goodbye to, naysayers, detractors, critics, enemies, hecklers or unbelievers and say hello to people who inspire, support, nurture and bring out the best in you.

2. Denial—being stuck in the past.

Regardless of who you were before you migrated to a new place, don’t live in denial any longer than you must. Your past successful life will always be a valuable part of who you are…no one can take that away from you. However, the new reality may mean that you can no longer be the successful, lawyer, doctor, accountant, CEO or professional you once were. Accept change and be ready to change and adapt! Spending your days talking about who you used to be or dwelling in the glory of your past successes will prevent you from applying yourself fully and creating a successful meaningful life.

3. Not knowing who you are and what you want to do.

At some point in your life you must answer the questions, “Who am I?” “What do I really want to do with my life?” “What fulfills me?” “What is my role and purpose on earth?” These questions are probably the most important questions that you will ever answer because they lay the foundation for your destiny and determine the course of your future. They help you get focused on what matters most and gain clarity about the next step to take. Based on them, you can avoid irrelevant, side tracking, time wasting, and emotionally draining activities On the other hand, when you don’t know who you are and what you want…you settle for anything!.

4. Low self-esteem and a victim mentality.

You feel bad about yourself, criticize yourself, look down upon yourself, judge yourself harshly and are not proud of who you are. These negative feelings lead to a sense of insignificance, apathy and hopelessness. Further, when you allow obstacles, your insecurities or a “woe is me” mentality to rob you of the pleasure of achieving your goals—you choose to fail. The fact that you are an immigrant doesn’t make you a nobody. You are somebody! You matter and you have an important contribution to make to the world. There are countless inspiring stories of people who have overcome all odds and achieved their dreams. If you take responsibility for your life and destiny…you too can become that story. Value yourself because no matter where you are from or how you look or sound like—you can still be different and unstoppable!

5. Succumbing to the voice of your inner critic.

Usually, there are two dialogues going on in your mind. One is the voice of empowerment that encourages you, “c’mon, you can do it, you are trained and qualified to do this, you are naturally gifted to do this or this is what you have always wanted to do,” and the other is the inner critic’s voice that taunts and instills fear in you. It whispers, “you can’t do it, you will fail, you won’t be accepted, you are different or you are not good enough” and so forth. These conflicting voices go on and on and pull you in different directions. It’s almost like a battle between good and evil. Which voice are you listening to? Which voice is winning? To succeed, you must conquer your inner critic and win.

6. Talking big and not walking the talk.

If all you are doing is talking about your ideas, gathering information, reading, researching, attending seminars, and listening to what everyone else is saying and not applying all that learning and knowledge to make your life happen…you are preparing to fail. If you have worthwhile goals and you have not implemented them in a real and tangible way, you need to pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What is going on with me?” “What’s holding me back?” “What am I afraid of?” If all your friends know about your big plans but have never seen any supporting evidence; it’s probably time to start walking the talk!

7. Not asking for help!

When you want to get things done and are stuck because you don’t know what to do next…ask for help. Invest in yourself. Get support from a trained coach, expert, mentor or a friend who knows what they are doing and can help you come up with a plan to achieve success. Seek help from people who are already succeeding and making something out of their lives or who can hold you accountable for getting back on track and staying there!
Remember that by your action or lack of action…you are making plans for something!
Overcome your barriers and let the evidence of what you want, speak for itself!
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Caroline Jalango is a life strategist and motivational coach for women who want to do better for themselves. She is the author of: “Settle for Less No More”- What every woman needs to know about doing better for herself and “You Deserve to Feel Good”- How to ensure that you do! To order your copy, visit http:// www.motivationzone.com

Straight off the bat let me apologize for the vulgar language. Though I tend to use profanities in every day life that’s not what I wanted this blog to be about. Every once in a while you come across one of those expressions that just can’t be expressed in any other way.Plus it got your attention didn’t it?

But Before I Get Started

I just wanted to inform other Africans who may think that we Kenyans in the diaspora are doing nothing about the current crisis that there have been a couple of peace marches that have already taken place and I want to honour and salute them.

1) North Texas March

There are approximately 80,000 Kenyans in Dallas Texas (Wow! That’s a lot!! :-O greetings to all y’all Texans reading this). They held a March about a week ago and it made it into the Dallas Morning News. Below is a link to a blog that expounds on the matter:

http://breakingnewskenya.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/kenyans-demonstrate-in-dallas-tx/

2) Melbourne march

About a week ago there was a March right here in Melbourne. As of now all I have is hearsay and I will email the marchers to get more details. What just fascinated the socks of me was the way the Australian media reacted to the demonstrators.

A Brief Digression

I am yet to get confirmation of it but apparently the reason that the peace march wasn’t on the news down under was because they wanted an outright condemnation of the Kenyan government in order for the march to be newsworthy. The marchers refused to be hasty in their criticism, prefering to keep an open mind that says Kibaki might have and might have not rigged the elections….but either way “we want peace!” If it’s true, I guess that’s a fantastic insight into the mind of the Australian mass media.

Secondly, I emailed the Kenyan Red Cross.The public relations officer, who I share a name with, informed me that the Kenya Red Cross had facilities that allow one to make donations (oh, I just noticed it on their homepage. I’m blind, no? They even have links that allow you to become physically involved in the Red Cross; How exciting). They will be setting up Paypal shortly so stay tuned for that if that’s how you want to contribute.

So What Did I Mean By the Title?

I will begin by telling you a story.

The Famine

About…oh….maybe a year ago drought hit Kenya’s North Eastern province hard, again. There were a couple of us concerned folk in the diaspora who decided we would get together and do something about it. So we began by creating a wonderful non profit complete with tax deduction benefits for the donators. The organization had roles; we had a president, a secretary, a meeting secretary or whoever’s job it is to take notes among other absoloutely well labeled roles. The organization had a well planned distribution system: we raise money in Australia and send it to a church in Kenya that was already doing work in North Eastern Kenya. We printed out 1oos upon 100s of brochures and spent hours planning and tactically thinking about where we would distribute our material and the effect it would have.

What was the result? About thirteen dollars, or was it 100? I forget, but either way it wasn’t much. Now mind you I was probably the youngest person at the meeting so we are not talking about a bunch of zealous youths like myself. We are talking about for the most part calm, well-reasoned, sophisticated middle-agers and baby boomers. So this over zealous youth and the adults couldn’t raise more than 13 dollars (by the way the Australian dollar is the unit of currency in Australia if anyone is curious). What I want us to discuss is where I think I, and the group, went wrong and ways you can avoid the pitfalls we did as you go about serving Kenya at this time:

Why are You In This Game?

1) We didn’t spend enough time discussing WHY we were doing it. Solution: Whenever you set out to do something get very strongly associated to the emotional reason YOU want to do it. Truth be told I never truly had a clear idea of why I was part of the group. I suspect the group was also not clear on why we were doing what we were doing.Were we doing it to assuage our guilt by temporarily ending the extreme suffering? (Even if you’re reason isn’t pretty be clear about it, if you don’t like it, find a reason that is more in line with your consscience.) Were we doing this because it was the right thing to do and we wanted to feel like good people? Whatever the payoff is for you and for whatever organization you are a part of , be very clear on it.

What’s the Solution? Not Just the Problem, the Solution?

2) We didn’t have a clear vision of the future we wanted to create .Solution: Whenever you set out to solve a problem, be extremely clear on what solution YOU will bring about. For those of you who have studied transformational psychology or the psychology change you are pretty well rehearsed in this idea. Spend 20% of your time fully understanding what the problem you are trying to solve is and then once you fully understand the problem (or feel you have an alright grip of it), spend 80% of your time on the solution. Did we want to create endless food abundance in Kenya forever? Did we want to be the source of food for the North Eastern region through the famine? Before you engage in any endevour to improve the lives of people be as clear as you can about what you want their lives to be like after you enter their universe. Do you want to take Kenya to a place where the vote counts? Do you want a Kenya where all children have unlimited protection and ability to self-actualize? Do you want all these things?BE CLEAR.

Begin with the end in Mind

3) To paraphrase the great business thinker Dr. Stephen Covey, Begin with the end in mind. From there backwards engineer figuring out what steps will get you and the people you serve from where you are to where you want to be (or rather where you’re going to be). These backward engineered steps, written down are pretty much your plan. A couple of things that can really make the plan great:

a) Put deadlines: Without deadlines there is more likelihood we will slack off or postpone to infinity. We set up and regularly check on our deadlines-I don’t like the term it’s so negative, anyone have any alternatives?-and it’s more likely we’ll get things done.

b) Be flexible in your approach BUT NOT in terms of what you want to achieve: Be willing to change your approach until you get to the destination but do not change your destination. If you want to ensure that children have universal access to joy and happiness then:

Start orphanages, review the education system, take in orphans, lobby and get child laws changed, work with non profits that work on children’s issues……whatever it takes. Don’t be too attached to the way you’ll get there but if I may make only one suggestion in the midst of this rant that you take on, it is be flexible in approach but not about what you want to achieve.

Make it Easier For Yourself

4) Break it down to little steps: I cannot emphasize this one enough. This is particularly important when you are doing something that serves other people. I am inclined to believe that we are predominantly selfish beings who find it pretty easy to do things that we like and things that bring us pleasure especially in the short term. However for a lot of us, engaging in a concentrated effort to bring pleasure to other people feels unnatural and difficult. This is the reason that as you backward engineer your plan, you should break it down to the smallest steps possible. Break your plan down into microsteps with deadlines that are vey close to each other. This way you conquer the mountain ‘one step at a time’ rather than CONQUERING A HHUUUGGGEE MOUNTAIN over a reeeaaalllyyyy llloooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggg timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! In the example of the famine initiative, we could have broken it down to everyone distributing a couple of brochures with our details to two friends and acquantances every day for a week. The second week we could begin leaving one of our group’s posters in a public place-like display boards, telephone poles etc etc- daily. Typically, at some point the power of momentum takes over and it slowly becomes easier to work harder as we go along taking bite size steps.

Take Time to Reflect

4) Daily reflection and review of the goal: The famine project had weekly reviews;I am suggesting that we review and reflect on how close we are to our objectives every morning after waking up. This has really revolutionized my life in terms of what I notice in my day to day life . At the moment my primary interests are health and nutrition, business and personal development. Every morning when I wake up my focus almost immediately switches on to what I want to achieve in these areas. When I walk down the street with my cousin, my cousin will notice that someone is driving a car with great rims and go off on a tangent about how he wants rims like that. I will notice the protein shake in the passenger seat and begin to reflect ( I bore my family to tears when I discuss my interests) on whether he is using dairy products and whether dairy is good for you and what whey is made of etc etc. This is all because every morning that I wake up I am CLEAR about what I want to achieve in this world. So focus daily on how you want to serve and watch yourself notice things you never noticed before……. and by the way if you achieve your deadline, as soon as you do celebrate and have a party!

Clarity is Power

When you live in a country like Australia, it is extremely easy to get distracted. In the US, people are exposed to 10,000 commercial messages a day, and I know Australia isn’t trailing by too far behind.That’s not even mentioning television shows, music among other things. I would urge you to cut through the muck of distractions and keep your focus clear on what gift you have that you can share with Kenya at this time.

I have said this before and I will say this again,” Live by the Pareto Principle.”Clearly focus and be about the 20% of things in life that will bring about 80% of the results. And ultimately what it is more important than serving our fellow man, though we may forget that from time to time.

Half-a** is better than no a**

For those of you who may be wondering, “What does this post have to do with the title?” Simply put, if your heart is in the right place and you are coming from a place of genuinely wanting to serve other people, doing anything, even though it’s a half-hearted, weak attempt is much better than doing nothing at all.

Don’t worry about getting the perfect grandiose plan that will end world hunger and bring justice, peace and understanding to the entire universe.Just one person you save from hunger, sadness, depression, poverty and fear is better than serving no one in the first place.

Tomorrow, I share with you what I have learned from communications I have had with my fellow Kenyans including DEMOSH, a photographer from Kenya who has been right there in Kenya on the ground in the midst of the action (please check out his pictures by clicking on this link).

Hope this has served; leave me a comment and let me know how this article has helped you, anything I have missed or any random thought that pops in your head as you read this.

Be blessed,

Mwangi