Africans never get enough sleep. From the moment they are twelve years old, their schools have 12 hour days, 6 times a week.By the time they are hitting the job market they have had half the sleep that the rest of the world has had.

For that reason, if you take a journey through African Facebook profiles, you may be baffled and surprised to find out that A LOT of African people put sleeping right up there amongst their interests, and even above reading in some cases (”I had enough of those things at school”). When Africans say they love to sleep they love to sleep.

Ask an African what their perfect day looks like and somewhere in that day there are long stretches of time where they “chew a comatose” (slang for catching some Zs (zeds not zis) or getting some shut eye).

Africans don’t need any fancy equipment or machinery to bring the sleep about. Give them a flat surface and lots of time and they’ll know what to do. It doesn’t matter if the mattress is so expired and worn out that they are receiving free massages from the bed springs, they’ll make it work. It doesn’t matter if the sheets have a thread count so low that they really should be called see-throughs, the African will grab some heavy clothing and get down to business.

If you ever supervise an African in the workplace or are a teacher or lecturer of children of the soil, you might be surprised by how much they love you if you say something to the extent of:

“Kwame/Achieng, you are a great worker/student/human being. You look like you haven’t been getting enough sleep.Why not go home and get some sleep….on the company’s dime/without it affecting your attendance?”

Don’t be surprised if this statement results in uncontrollable crying and so many thank that you think you are in downtown Japan. For the next few weeks the African will put all their complaints aside (tough job but they’ll do it) and instead brag to all their friends how they are such good workers that they were rewarded with the greatest reward of all: a really long sleep in the middle of the day.

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Catch some sweet sleep tonight,

Mwangi