No joke! You want the formula, here it is:

A Happy Life is:

Pleasant emotions (Think about that great feeling you have after great food, an awesome movies, theme parks and sex)

+

A life filled with moments of flow ( When you engage fully in what you are good at. Time and space stand still as you are one with what you are putting out into the world. Check out this interview where its briefly discussed)

+

A meaningful life (taking your unique gifts and applying them towards the achievement of something greater than yourself

A Very Important Idea to Remember

I have a running hypothesis in my head that as human beings we are naturally wired to hold on to, experience and be guided by what makes us feel pain as opposed to what makes us feel pleasure.

What I mean by this is that, we appear to more naturally remember, want to converse about, and have our actions guided by the one time an employee screwed us over as opposed to the Saturday we went out and watched a great movie.

I have a Discovery Channel derived idea on why that is but that isn’t the point of today’s discussion.

Here’s The Thing

The skills that are neccesary to eliminate negativity and negative emotions ARE NOT the same skills that make us happy.

Let me say that one more time:

The skills that we use to make us stop feeling like crap ARE NOT the same ones that will make us feel happy to be alive.

So, if you are buying into the belief that:

I will be happy when I get rid of this person/this job/retire/this weight etc etc etc you might be right, but chances are, science and literature have repeatedly shown, you are probably holding on to a fool’s gold.

Ladies and Gentlemen

In case you did not watch the video please set aside just a little bit of time today and learn how to be happy for the rest of your life:

Have a day just brimming with positive emotions where you love what you do so much that the time-space continuum does not exist and you truly are bigger than your body,

Mwangi

We Don’t See Things as They Are, We See Things as We Are

This is one of the biggest lessons that immigration will teach you. Two people can be standing at the same moment in time at the same place looking at the same thing and be thinking entirely different things based on their background, culture, beliefs, race and conditioning.

Though we rarely are brave enough to admit it in public, in our heart of hearts, all of us know that as many flaws as we can point out in the other person’s perception of the world, there are probably as many holes in ours.

Who knows maybe the areas where his perceptual framework is full may help fill up places where there are holes in our view of the world. Take advantage of these different schemas, that’s where depth of character and creativity come from.

Just a little something to think about.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

I am going to share with you two stories. As I do, use them as metaphors and I really hope you can see yourself in these stories.

Story Number 1: Lessons from Camp

That wall may as well have been 80,000 feet tall. Don’t get me wrong. When you were standing at the foot of it looking at all those plastic pieces up the wall that were meant to imitate rocks, the indoor rock-climbing wall didn’t really look that tall. But once your hands and feet were on the rocks and off the ground, then it got real!

Nervousness

I felt a tinge of nervousness, but nothing I had never felt before and I just kept on going. Once I got to within 5 feet of my destination and about 15 feet of the ground (you know what for the rest of this story, let’s assume I am climbing the Everest on a minus 39 degree day and I am 3,000 feet above ground and much closer to the top than to the ground….increases drama ) then something else hit my consciousness:

I have never done this before and there is a possibility I might feel.

Combine general anxiety with specific anxiety like that and you get yourself one fine stew of fear. I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to look stupid…..

What Would You Have Done?

I stop at this point to ask

What would you have done? Would you have:

1) Stopped climbing, let go and waited for the instructor to slowly bring you down.
2) Kept climbing at the same speed and tempo, putting the fear to the side.
3) Smothered the fear down with indignation and pressed on with a fury that can only be compared to one woman scorned by twenty other previously scorned women.
4) Fear, what fear? That aint no Everst man: get over it!

What Mwangi Did

Do you sometimes surprise myself? Well, I certainly did. It was indoor rock climbing. I was safely harnessed, about five people had gone up the “mountain” easily already.

But, I disconnected. I don’t just mean physically, I mean psychologically. I didn’t want this pressure anymore, I didn’t want to feel this and so I simply let go. First my mind shut off and about twenty seconds later, I let go and fell back to the ground making myself the first and only person who never climbed on first attempt.

Story Number Two: The Kid Grows

As I stood behind that wooden stage, I suddenly remembered two years ago. It was a simple enough concept:

Step one: Take an ordinary sack
Step two: Take that sack to the nearest tailor and get him to craft for me a smashing set of clothing, both top and bottom.
Step three: Take the new half-jacket, short ensemble and wear it backstage.
Step four: Model the sack-turned-to-clothes set for the whole school on stage with my main man D who would be quite smashing in a blanket suit.

But that day there was a step five that went a little something like this:

Step five: Feel the terror slowly begin to crescendo the closer I got to backstage. Feel the fear, disconnect and refuse to go on stage. Have teachers come and beg me to go on stage while I indignantly refused. Experience the wonderful humiliation of one teacher taking the sack cloth off me, going on stage and model it to the cat calls of all the cute girls in the school.

And here I was two years later, still in my teens……and the lights went off:

I burst through that door and gave my 110%. Anytime the fear came up, it was wonderfully sublimated to passion, to anger, to excitement and whatever emotion the scene called for. I had actually grown, the kid had learned something.

A Few Questions

Take a moment today and figure out, how do you respond when the heat is on? Does it serve you? Does it hurt you? Does it make anything or anyone better? If not, perhaps consider a different approach when the heat is on.
What do you do? Do you run away? Do you suppress it with sex, drugs, hip hop, alcohol and rock and roll?
Secondly, have you grown over the past few years in terms of how you respond to the heat? Is the way you respond today any better than how you responded a few years ago?

Final Thought

As human beings we are not static creatures that have a fixed identity that MUST remain for the rest of our lives. Sure a lot of us get stuck in a rut and CHOOSE to stay there for the rest of our lives because it’s comfortable and easy. But we don’t have to. And I hope today I have reminded you that.

“Mount Everest Returns”

I eventually got on that wall and I did climb all the way to the top. I wasn’t fast, I wasn’t elegant and heck, it wasn’t even complete, but I did. I didn’t do it so I could be crowned champion of climbing walls, though that would be nice. I didn’t do it for accolades, they didn’t exist for climbing that wall.
I did it so I could do something, no matter how small, to prove to myself that at any moment in time, I can do better, I can grow. Go Mount your Everest today. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

If you want to hear more about my experiences and insights, make sure you subscribe to this site via RSS or email to receive regular updates.

Your friend and fan,
Mwangi

You know your blog is doing alright when you ask a reader to send you a copy of their book to review and they do it for free. I’ll say it once, I’ll say it many times: Thanks Carol for sending me your book, I really appreciate that.

I have decided that I will write this review in the following style:

a) Brief description of the book

b) Things I loved about the book

c) Critiques of the Work

d) Say a huge thanks to Carol again

e) Log off and go and watch some soul flicks

f) Leave you with information on where you can pick up the book and/or learn more about Coach Carol

You Deserve to Feel Good: How to Ensure that You Do by Caroline Jalango

This book’s title gives you a pretty clear indication of what the book is about. It is written by Caroline, an ex-lawyer turned life coach /motivational guru, who also happens to be an African immigrant living in the US. The book gives you practical, immediately applicable tools that you can use to turn frowns upside down, drab into fad, depression into elation, melancholy into gay foly, sadness into….you get the point.

In short, if you need a book that will teach you, wherever you are, how to immediately get yourself into a powerful, self-confident, self-believing and assertive state, this book is for you.

What I Loved About the Book

1) Caroline’s Voice: I can pretty much write the whole article about Carol’s writing voice. I have spoken briefly with Carol via email and the same voice from that email is what I find in this book: exuberant, encouraging, motivational and unwaveringly committed to moving you to action and to a better place in your life.

This book makes you want to sit with Carol, especially on those downer days, because you know just five minutes with her will give you the boost you need to get up and get on with it.

2) The Sub-Categories: If you need help dealing with negative people, refer to Chapter 10.Need to bounce back from failure? Read the next Chapter. Feel like you don’t value yourself? Chapter 6 is all you need. This book can pretty much meet you at whichever internal negative situation you’re at and move you to a much better place.

3) Quick read: Because of Carol’s exuberant voice, this is a very quick read that doesn’t dabble or beat about the bush. You want to feel good now? She will get you from zero to hero quicker than a

poem-that-choses-to-list-all-the-problems-for-hours-before-listing
just-one-solution-in-the-last-line.

4) Small Editing Things That Make Me Smile: The cover graphics are great and she uses lists a lot. If you read blogs as much as I do, then you can appreciate when someone uses the always-so-easy-to-digest list format and mixes that with great graphics that make the book easy on the eye.

Critiques

1) The Book is for Women: I am a man. Just a a quick request to all the fellas out there: More personal development stuff, biographies and autobiographies (especially on TV. Where’s our Oprah? Please don’t say Jimmy Kimmel) for men, centered around the masculine existence. Has nothing to do with the book, but it had to be said.

2) Not Specific: I would have loved to have known how Carol’s uniqueness, an ex-lawyer who started her own business or her experiences as an African living overseas, have impacted on her thinking, her decisions and the quality of her life.

I don’t think I have ever read anything that speaks to the experiences described above and how to overcome them or leverage them to success. A much more specific personal development book is definitely needed in the already over-saturated personal development field.

3) Audio Version or Course: I think with a voice like Carol’s she should definitely not have restricted this book to the two dimensional page. Instead, in my humble opinion, Carol should have made this either an audio and/or video course (example would be a 30 day course ala Tony Robbins) or a 3 day/6 day/4day seminar with the book as a guide for the seminar.

I may be wrong, considering I have never ever met Carol in person, but me thinks that such exuberance shouldn’t be left to the imagination but should be ‘tangible’ either through the tone of her voice or the way she uses her body.

Therein are my two cents regarding what in truth is a pretty phenomenal experience, the FIRST TIME I ever read a personal development book written by my fellow African. So in conclusion let me thank Carol for making me my own custom made affiliate link to her site.

Make sure you check out the book by clicking on this link

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

First up, the site is going through some changes in design and I am also adding and subtracting some stuff, so please bear with me.

This process will only last a few days and then it’ll be business as usual.In the meantime please give me feedback on whether its easier to read, what looks good, hideous etc etc

And yes, I have a funny accent and no I can’t explain what it is and where it came from, it’s just me and I rather like it!

Three events: Distant in chronology, but far from it in psychology. To another man, random events that have no bearing on each other. To me, they conspired together to bring about the writing of this article. The events are:

1. The Rugby Sevens that were held in Adelaide a few weeks ago.

2. A few weeks before the Rugby Sevens there was a fund raiser to raise money for people affected by the post election violence in Kenya. Finally;

3. I watched the movie 27 Dresses

A Brief Digression

Here’s what I don’t get about 27 dresses and hell, what I don’t get about romantic comedies all the way from the Cary Grant days.

Why is it that the a****le always gets the girl in the end?

James Marsden’s character, as likable as he was, was a far cry from Edward Burns character on sooo many levels and yet the spoils went to John’s character.

In addition to that, what is with the whole, ” the kiss didn’t feel the way it should,” thing?!

Yes, once upon a time, I used it as a line (not very well, but I did alright), but I simply do not understand. Maybe you were self conscious about your breath that moment or the guy had a cold and was breathing through his mouth or whatever could go wrong?

Really?! You will change your whole destiny because your game of tonsil-hockey wasn’t good on one particular day…hmmmm. Digression over!

So I Got to Thinking, Why?

Why is it that thousands upon thousands of people got in their cars, their planes (not their planes, commercial planes but…oh you get what I’m trying to say) and on each others backs from all over Australia? Some even came from the land up over as far as I can tell. And they all congregated on the little city of Adelaide to watch men in really tiny apparel go to war with each other. Why?

Why was Katherine Heigl’s character so obsessed with the wedding event? Why are millions of women, and the token male, so obsessed with their weddings and willing to invest so much of themselves and their resources into it? (Some even more than into the marriage)

Why were there only 50 people who showed up to raise money though the fundraiser was held in the midst of the violence and in a prime central locatin?

My Pedestrian Opinion on What Went Wrong with the Fund-raiser and Some Ways to Fix It

This problem doesn’t apply to just the fundraiser. Here in Melbourne, it has applied to a few projects and events that have been organized for a greater good. I don’t know about other people’s experiences in other countries but I am sure you have had your fare share of bum starters.

So why do women put so much into their special day (heck they even call it their special day) and why do so many people invest so much time, money and energy to making the Rugby pilgrimage (they even call it that)?

But Mwangi, It’s Rugby/ It’s My Wedding!

I think the first key component behind these two events is that they are both tied into traditions.

Tradition: A time-honored practice or set of such practices

The sport of rugby predated the Rugby Sevens. It was enjoyed before they set up the bleachers in Adelaide. People fought each other over their favourite teams long before the Seven’s tickets were printed.

In addition to that, Kenya was a country with a national identity and one people with a shared struggle (Don’t let the violence fool you. A lot of the people who were killing each other share a lot more in common with each other than with the politicians) before the Sevens. Kenya had a national team that Kenyans were behind long before a few weeks ago. Samoa had their team before the Sevens and the All Blacks owned ALL teams as soon as the first Maori child was born in New Zealand

Same thing about weddings. Ever since Little Kimani (that’s a boy) woke up one morning a long time ago and realized that for some weird reason Chebet (that’s a girl) made him very happy, and they both realized that as much as they drive each other nuts they can’t live without each other, there have been ceremonies where a man and a woman get together for life. So weddings have traditions across cultures that have gone on for thousands of years.

The fundraiser might have fared better if it played to that. Perhaps the fundraiser could have been moved to the Rugby Sevens and become a part of that. Perhaps we could have made it a part of some of the annual parties and celebrations that Africans often hold. This to me seems like a great way to leverage what’s already there.

Self Interest

I think that Richard Dawkins and a lot of my marketing teachers weren’t wrong. Speak to people’s selfish interests and cater to them and you have them hooked. My favourite people have always given me something that I wanted or needed even if it was to make me feel like I was a good person or a responsible person and as you reflect you’ll probably find the same is true for you too.

So with that in mind, they should have treated the fundraiser like a marketing project with the desired outcome being to raise funds ala World Vision and aid agencies.

Do It Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

A lot of the time, many of us (myself included) fall into this trap of assuming that people should do things and will do them because they are the right thing to do. I think binge drinking, the rate of smoking, childhood obesity, war and the general tendency a lot of us have for self-destruction should be a pretty clear indication that this isn’t the case.

I think a good place to begin from is that:

Controversy Get’s Courted

1) We are all idiots

2) We are all selfish

3) No one likes you and no one will want to attend your stupid event

And overcompensate for this by guiding people along to the event in a manner that caters to their wants and desires.

Some Ways to Go About This

We should have appealed to people’s desire to feel like good people. We should have catered to their desire to party by making this the most fun they would have had this side of the moon. We should have had open barbecues and free meat. We should have invited guest artists over from Africa who we know people would have loved to see. We could have invited a famous pastor from overseas among other ways to satisfy what people want and need.

Get Professional Help

I think we should have gotten professional help. There are people who base their entire lives and entire careers around making people attend events -event organizers, party planners, club promoters etc. We should have either hired them to get more butts in the seats and/or gotten them to consult on how to make the event a roaring, smashing success.

If you are thinking to yourself:

But that’s too expensive or too time consuming?

Then that is definitely a clear indication that you should get professional assistance because you are clearly not passionate about the project. Hand it over to people who have a passion for it or for the process of getting people to attend events.

Another Digression

We were supposed to have heard a great band but you know what happened? They canceled last minute because they got a paying gig elsewhere. This just broke my heart man……

Leverage not Just Traditions but What People Already Do

That night, very little money was raised. We had a great location. We had people who were obviously dedicated and cared. However the day before a meeting in smaller meeting place, my mother’s church, was convened and they managed to raise a lot more money.

Can you imagine if every night club that Africans go to, every house party that people attend, every bible study, every church people were reminded of the suffering of their brethren and asked to give as much as they could?

I know a lot more would have been raised if we had taken advantage of events and places where we already gather to raise money.

To Conclude

I have no doubt that people’s hearts and people’s intentions were in the right place when they organized the fundraiser. That having been said, the event fell far short of what it could have been. This rather than being a failure in my eyes is simply a time for us to stop, reflect, figure out what we didn’t do or did wrong, change that and correct course. Then we can march on to much better events and a much stronger and more supportive community in the African diaspora.

My 2 cents conclude here so please give me my change, leave me a lovely comment telling me about your ideas on African events in the diaspora and subscribe to the RSS feed or sign up for email updates if this article got you thinking.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

How many emotions do you experience in a day?

How many negative emotions do you experience in a day?

How many positive emotions do you experience in a day?

According to Answer.com an emotion is:

A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling

Bring on the List

We recently got into a discussion with gal africana about how many emotions we experience in a day.

Gal, after much careful investigative work (with readers like gal, I really don’t need to work do I?) managed to find a comprehensive list of the human emotions that we are able to experience as people. The list is attached below as a pdf file (which needs Adobe Reader to read):

Comprehensive List of Emotions

Gal told me she was surprised that after reading the list: she realized she experienced a lot more emotions in a day than she initially thought. Now as I write this I haven’t looked at a list.

In absence of that, I think, I experience 2 emotions: mild anxiety and flow (state where I am high, happy, exuberant and full of life). Now, in real time like 24 people, I will examine the list and tell you the results.

Drum roll Please……..

In a typical day, I experience:

35 positive emotions

19 neutral emotions and;

30 negative emotions

84 EMOTIONS IN TOTAL ON A TYPICAL DAY

That’s Way More Than I Would Have Ever Thought

Who would have thought I could experience so much sitting in the house working on a computer! So today I challenge you to examine how many of the emotions in the pdf file you experience in a typical day.

A Little Game I Invented: Emotional Switch Game

A little something I came up with I call, the Emotional SWITCH! game (I didn’t want it to be some cryptic name like Emotions from the Abyss, so let’s stick with a nice, simple, straightforward name alright).

The basic point of the game is this:

1. Pick one negative or neutral emotion that you experience regularly.

2. Replace it with a positive emotion that you would like to experience in its place. Example: Instead of anxiety, you would like to feel assertiveness.

3. For the next 24 hour period (or longer if you wish), any time you feel anxious immediately replace feelings of anxiety with feelings of assertiveness i.e. any time you experience the negative or neutral emotion replace it with the positive one.

4. Rinse and repeat until you are consistently feeling the positive emotion instead of the negative or neutral one.

How to Make Yourself Feel Something

Right now let me take this little intermission to discuss ways in which we can make ourselves feel something e.g. How we can make ourselves feel assertive when we are feeling anxious. There are a few ways I know of, credit Tony Robbins for this knowledge:

1. External stimulus: When I watch African American movies I feel very confident, strong and assertive. When I watch a lot of indie films I feel depressed and scared. When I listen to R&B I feel safe, confident and secure. When I listen to hip hop, I feel aggressive. This is in no way a novel idea: Certain forms of media or other forms of external stimulus (including food, people, places, toys and things) make us feel certain ways. Surround yourself with things that make you feel assertive as much as is possible on the day you want to replace anxiety with assertiveness.

2. Remember and recall your internal dialogue when you feel something: You ever noticed how the way you talk inside your head sounds very different depending on how you’re feeling. When I am in a state of euphoria or ecstasy or joy, I don’t think. I maybe have one thought every fifteen minutes but other than that I just am and you may think you are conversing with a conscious, thoughtful being….nah, I’m just letting whatever is in my subconscious flow out. When I am anxious, I THINK! I sit and I over-analyze everything. I think about this blog. I think about the future. I think about my health. I tend to do it in a very progressive, Socratic, detached fashion and I have done pretty much the same thing for four years. What goes on in your head when you are assertive. What song plays in your head? What do you say to yourself? What images do you see? Bring them all back whenever you are feeling anxious and flood it all out with the assertive mental material.

   

3. Use your body the same way you do when you feel the desired emotion: Strictly speaking, what we should do here is pretty much manipulate our body so that we take on the same body language we have when we feel assertive. In my experience though, this hasn’t worked out -not to say it doesn’t, it works extremely well from some. It didn’t work for me because as I would be manipulating my body I would tend to over-think the experience. Therefore my general strategy-not always applicable-is to either go for a run or dance in a very aggressive manner when you feel the anxiety (or -ve emotion you don’t want). This results in you stepping out of your head and focusing on the run and/or the dance. This movement tends to result in a much better emotional state and from there go towards the emotional state you are after- like say the assertiveness.

And In Conclusion

One of the intentions behind the game is to remind ourselves, because we always forget, just how much control we have over our emotional states when you choose to focus on them. Once your confidence in your abilities to manipulate your emotional state have been reaffirmed, slowly move yourself towards a place where your day will be predominantly filled with positive emotions all the time.

In truth, I don’t think we’ll ever be rid of negative emotions because sometimes we need them. But that shouldn’t stop us from creating a head and heart space that is mainly about feeling good.

By the way, out of curiosity:

a) What is your favorite emotion? Mine are two: flow and quiet bliss ( I don’t know the exact name for it, but it’s a feeling where I am quiet, safe, secure and yet have like a volcano of joy just bubbling inside)

b) How many emotions do you experience in a day?

If you know your personal answer answer to any of these questions, leave a comment below and let me know what it is.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi.

]]> http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/04/how-rich-is-your-emotional-experience/feed/ 0 http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/03/the-art-of-rejuvenation/ http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/03/the-art-of-rejuvenation/#comments Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:39:00 +0000 Mwangi http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/198/the-art-of-rejuvenation/

The Art of Never Getting Tired: What Recharges You?

I just got home-I wrote this on 25^th March 2008- and I am feeling REFRESHED. I just came from visiting people that I had not seen in almost a year and I must say that it was exactly what I needed. I pretty much work every single day, or if I’m not working, I am thinking about work. Therefore today I decided I would take a break from working, blogging and studying and go and try to connect with my fellow man.

Just the Medicine I Needed

I landed smack down in the home of S&G (by the way, thanks S and thanks G for being fantastic hosts) and it’s amazing: When I arrived I felt tired, worn out, vacuous and bored. A few hours of having very silly, crude conversation and my cylinders are firing again.

So what is my point with all this?

I am glad you asked: Well, the question is what recharges you? Actually, let me rephrase the question, what has any of the following effects on you:

a) Relaxes you and gives you feelings of peace and relaxation

b) Makes you feel safe and at home.

c) Makes you energetic and gives you boosts of energy I.e. What action gives you more energy than it takes to perform.

To be clear, when I talk about activities that recharge you, I am talking about activities that achieve any of or a combination of the above emotional states.

Remember What Recharges You

Once you arrive in the diaspora, you are away from familiar surroundings and so may forget or lose track of what you used to do back home to recharge. However, I am yet to meet anyone who does not have activities that do not fulfill the above criteria.

The Trick Is…..

The only thing is that a lot of the things that give us these feelings tend to be odd and we may feel odd doing them in such a foreign environment. Today, I have realized yet again (for some reason I always forget then remember, forget then remember…) that three things absolutely ignite me:

a) Novelty/something new and something fresh that I haven’t experienced before or in a long time (I hadn’t visited their home or seen them in a year plus there were other people there that I had never met)

b) Entertaining and Amusing (there is no high quite like making another person laugh)

c) Being significant (actually mattering and being missed by your fellow man. Missed you guys too….:) )

d) Connecting and having conversations with people that are mutually enjoyable: It doesn’t matter if it is deep, introspective conversation or silly, crude, useless conversation. As long as it’s interesting, real and I feel we connect: I’m good.

e) Women (goes without saying really……)

Some Ways People Recharge;Some Odd

Therefore I challenge you to remember what recharges you. Any time this place wears you down: you miss home, you look around and are distressed that you don’t connect with anyone, work and responsibilities are getting you down: break away and recharge. Don’t worry if it is idiosyncratic or unique or odd. I have heard or known people who relax by:

a) Sleeping, waking up, sleeping waking up and doing that for extended periods of time.

b) Going to a park and feeding pigeons and/or fish and/or ducks

c) People who enjoy sleeping under a tree in an open field.

d) People who pray and meditate.

e) People who play board games such as Scrabble, Rummy King, checkers etc

f) Rowing boats on lakes and/or ponds

What If I Can’t Do It?

What if it is something that it is physically impossible to do, such as visit a monument that is only in your country or walk around your old neighbourhood. In that case, investigate, why x activity recharges you. What are the elements of that situation that take you from lifeless to filled with energy. It took me five years of living here to realize that without connection or significance to other people, my energy slowly declines. Once I realized that, I had power. I knew any time I was getting low, all I needed to do was go visit someone I hadn’t seen in a while and try to make them laugh or just connect.

Practical Application

So, why did you like visiting that monument back home…..was it getting away from everyone, was it the majesty or the history of the monument. Perhaps you can find places in the diaspora where you can explore another culture’s rich history and a majesty and go and recharge there. Did you enjoy walking through your neighbourhood because you enjoyed walking amongst people who were like you: find the nearest African neighbourhood or go to an Africa-infested area and walk around there. If that’s not available, find the closest nationality or ethnicity (Maoris, Greeks and Italians all share similar cultural traits for example) and walk amongst them. Keep experimenting and checking in with yourself until you know what recharges you and you can recreate the conditions necessary to recharge. Because you will need to do so on a regular basis.

What If I Never Had Recharging Activities?

There is the off chance that you have no idea what recharges you and have never had any activities that recharge you. If that’s the case, then I suggest that you read my articles on discovering your passions and use the tips to find your recharge activity. The greatest tip of them all: experiment, until you find what works. You are in the most prosperous society in human history, not only financial terms, but in terms of the abundance (over-abundance really) of knowledge, information and experiences. Step out there and try things until you find what recharges you.

Small Side-note

The only thing I would add is: choose activities that nourish you mind, body and soul. I think you can see where I am going with this. Don’t kill brain cells or dehydrate your body with alcohol or drugs so that it needs time to recharge AFTER your alleged recharge session. Don’t go to gossip sessions where you prop up your ego by speaking ill of others but end up no better than when you came in. Do something that will make every part of your person better-rest, relax, energize!

Finally

Your home needs you, you need you, we need you, to be as healthy, clear and strong as you can possibly be. So do something for you today. Leave me a comment , switch off this computer and go out there and recharge your batteries.

See you tomorrow, fresh and ready to go,

Mwangi

PS: Who knew the Google tool bar had spell checking. Expect spelling that resembles educated folk in the near future.

Part 6 of the 10 things I wish I knew before I left Africa

1) Erwin Mcmanus

2) Kirk Franklin

3) Eric Wainaina

4) Steve Biko and Malcolm X

It was a dark lonely night in the CBD of Sydney, Australia. Ever since I had moved over from Melbourne,every day pretty much rolled with the same monotonous tone. Me alone looking for work, Me alone looking for a home, listening to personal development tape after personal development tape after personal development tape. As was in my character, I had hope and a vision deeply embeded in my heart but my composure was the one of someone trying to keep his head down and his feet moving forward slowly but steadily

A few days prior I had seen a poster in a cyber cafe:

Tony Robbins coming to Australia! Call me to get cheap tickets!

Upon calling I learned that the tickets would cost a “cheap” price of 1,600 Australian dollars. As expensive as that was, I wanted to go, I needed to go. After all, Tony Robbins was pretty much the catalyst that got me to Sydney in the first place. It was when I watched his interview with Larry King that I learned that a decision is defined as, “ cutting yourself off from all from all other possibility.” That’s when I decided that I had been sitting on my lazy butt for too long and it was time for me to move to Sydney and begin making my dreams and visions come true and cut myself off from any possibility of doing otherwise. It was also Tony who I had been listening to night after night after jobless, homeless night.

So there I was in the middle of Sydney cybercafe at about 2 a.m. wondering how I would convince my parents, cousins and friends to give 1,600 dollars to attend a self help seminar. Before crafting what I intended to be my most eloquent and convincing email to date, I decided to check what my fans had written in to me.One of the emails was from an old friend of mine from Melbourne who I hadn’t seen in forever. His email was short and sweet, I paraphrase:

“I am coming to Sydney to attend Tony Robbins personal development seminar. I have a free ticket for you if you want it. Please give me the names of five people who may also want a free ticket and the ticket is yours.”

Every part of my being literally exploded. In the middle of the cyber cafe I stood up and just started shaking and buzzing with pure joy (not a very comforting thing to be doing as a black man in the middle of the city at 2 in the morning, but I digress).

When I attended his seminar, I was still homeless, I had since found a job and so was able to pay for food and transport to the event (I had to use the train because my car a.k.a my home had broken down near a golf course in the Northern suburbs of Sydney). However those three days shook me, moved me and inspired me to the core. When that seminar ended, that was pretty much when the idea of the Displaced African began to come to fruition. In addition to that, the fire that burned deep within me of what I could be got stoked and I got energy to keep going.

That’s just one of the reasons that I am a huge fan of Mr. Robbins. In addition to that Mr. Anthony Robbins:

1) Has Self-Discipline

As he is fond of saying, this guy pretty much turned himself around. He took himself from a self-destructive broke, overeating fatty to the place he is today where he is featured on Forbes as well as a plethora of other magazines. My favorite epic tale is when a man has a battle with his demons…..and wins!

2) Man of Multiple Disciplines

Tony Robbins has pretty much dedicated his life to discovering why some people succeed at enormous levels whereas most people don’t. He didn’t just limit himself to a single area such as sociology or anthropology or psychology.His travels mean that he has learned and teaches in the areas of peak performance psychology, health and nutrition, relationships, exercise, effective stage communication, changing habits and interpersonal communication among a host of other disciplines. Renaissance men are very rare in this day and age and I think Tony Robbins may very well be one.

3) He Doesn’t Brag About His Intellect

Now considering all his knowledge in a wide variety of areas, I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that the man is an absolute genius. But you would never be able to tell. He always speaks to you in a language you can understand and strives to meet you where you are. He never tries to confuse you by using complex, grandiose language. Instead he helps you change your life while speaking a language you understand (He even swears during his seminars).

4) He Taught Me the Power of Modelling

If Tony had not revealed the idea to me, I never would have known about it. Once he did, it was so simple, I was surprised that I never would have thought of it. I have blogged about modeling in the past but in short:

If you want to succeed in any field of endevour, find people who are already succeeding there and copy their strategies.

Whereas success is much more complex than the above statement, tell me the above statement doesn’t make the road to success waaaaayyyyyy easier.

5) He Taught Me About the Power of One’s Mental State

Also in that category of things I never-would-have-known-but-were-so-simple-once

-I-knew-them-I-am-surprised-I-never-did: The power of one’s mental state.

Simply put:

Your behaviour is heavily affected by the mental state/emotional state you are in. When you are in a peak state (when you are in a state of flow) your decisions are of a much higher quality than when you are in a negative state such as depression.

Now I know a lot of you reading are thinking, “Well, duh!Of course when I am happy I act much better than when I am depressed.”

Well what Tony taught me is if you want to act right, simply get yourself in a good mood. He also reminded me that we are able to put ourselves in a good mood, or a peak state, at any moment in time, should we decide. Information such as this is HUGE! I can basically make myself act right by putting myself in a positive state at any moment in time. So simple to the point it’s almost unbelievable.

6) He is a Man of Passion

Living out here in the West, one of the things that drives me crazy is how this place can numb one’s emotions. When I look around, I feel as though so many people, myself included,are suppressing their emotions and instead putting on a social mask. Tony isn’t like that. Tony is exuberant, he is exciting. He speaks with his whole body and speaks with an intensity and definiteness of purpose that can’t help but suck one in. As a result, Tony is…..

7) The Best Speaker I HAVE EVER Seen Live

I have heard that the man is an obsessive compulsive perfectionist and I must say, having attended one of his seminars, it shows. Never in my life, have I had days go by so quickly and so many peak-emotional-highs in one day. He is a master of storytelling and an absolute gem when it comes to moving us emotionally to action. In my future I see myself maybe doing a little public speaking: take a little dash of Tony Robbins and mix it with a dash of Erwin Mcmanus and there’s no telling where I can go.

To learn more about Tony Robbins please check out his Wikipedia page or his Amazon page or visit Tony Robbins website.

Until then….be blessed, bless others and live with passion (Trademarked by Tony Robbins),

Mwangi