I was the only testosterone filled individual today who happened to be sitting in a cooking class somewhere in Melbourne. As the discussion wandered from food and a healthy lifestyle to bras and breast cancer I had brief moments where I let my mind wander. In those moments I thought:

What Would I Do If I Were the Minister of Health?

Philosophy

First of all, the whole point of the ministry would change. Currently, the objective of Western medicine according to my investigation is the prevention and curing of disease. Until a few years back, such a method of describing the purpose of medicine appeared sufficient. That is of course until I began to study the work of raw vegans and naturopaths and alternative medicine practitioners who somehow embedded the idea in me:

The point of medicine is to maximize the quantity AND quality of life.

With that in mind, the Ministry of Health would exist:

To take (insert name of country here) on a journey to improve the quality and quantity of life, through returning the body to a place of balance and working in line with the cycles of the body and nature to optimize the person’s experience of life and ensure that they have nothing but a positive nourishing impact on the world around them.

Some Random Policies

Among the policies I would institute:

1) Classes on relaxation from kindergarten all the way through to University: Everybody needs to learn how to unwind without needing to ingest narcotics or engage in self-destructive behaviour, so let’s teach them how. (Hell, even I wanna know how)

2) Classes on having the best relationships: How many people would we save from ulcers if we had a class on how to be a good partner in these wonderful life-long things called relationships.

3) Effects of the Environment on the Body: How does food affect the body? How do electromagnetic fields affect the body? How does stress affect the body? How can we guarantee nothing but good effects on the body all life long?

4) Ways to minimize the effects of synthetic chemicals on the body:According to the story of stuff, there are over 100,000 synthetic chemicals in use in the environment today and almost none of them have ever been tested for their impact on health. Well, I wanna know!

5) How to be Happy: Come to think of it, scratch that. I would actually create a ministry of happiness where we would research – what a concept!- what happiness is and how to get it. I don’t think we can afford to leave this to chance, I think if we scrap all the Ministries of Roads (in Africa do they really do anything other than award huge contracts to Western multinationals) we should have enough for a Ministry of Happiness.

6) The Best Diet Research Project: This would be a center dedicated to finding the optimum diet for each and every person based on nutritional requirements, genetics and lifestyle.

7) How to Have the Best Sex Ever: We’re all either gonna do it or get opportunities to do it so we may as well learn how to be the best at it.

So what would you do if you run your own ministry? I would actually be curious to know so if you have any ideas drop me a line or leave some comments below.

Beeee bleeeeeseeeeed and bleeeees otheeeeeers,

Mwangeeeeeeee

Dead Prez – Happiness