The Difference That Geography Makes: Part One

I remember sitting in a high school class somewhere in Kenya, some moment in time. There were about 80 of us. Our mission was simple: say what we wanted to be when we grew up. As we neared student number 30, one would have thought we were listening listening to a song that had the same beat repeated over and over and over again:

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

These were some of the most brilliant minds in the country (well, we were only the best in my first year there but we were always in the top 10..er….er…so the 10th most brilliant minds)

Finally it was my time to shine! I put the biggest grin I could on my face and said with pride:

Music producer.

“Idiot,”, must have been my nickname for quite a while afterwards.

Different Geography, Same People: Part two

I used to have a running script that I used to repeat over and over again whenever I met a new college student from the continent. I would think to myself:

“So, are you going to school to work in business, law, finance or to eventually work for some NGO?”

Whenever I met someone who did not fit into those categories, I would get very confused. Surely, there can only be one person who exists outside of the bell curve?

Then I would get very intimidated? You’re taking my spot.

Then I would fall in love? You’re abnormal like I am.

Seriously though, it’s remarkable how now many years later, the career paths that Africans chose can actually be recited by heart and described with such clarity:

A professional who has to wear some uniform or a suit of some sort. He/She wants to be relatively high up in the hierarchy but don’t want to be the ones who did all the grunt work to build it up. He wants a fancy job title with a fantastic salary that gives him a big house, a big car and the respect and love of his community as a “boss man/boss lady!” or ” they just want to make that paper paper paper paper”

Different Geography, Different People: Part Three

I didn’t even know some careers existed or were worth pursuing until I came down under.

“I want to be a sparky! (electrician)”

“I want to open my own brothel ! The licence costs half a mil but its still worth a go!”

“I want to make movies”

“I want to be a zookeeper”

“I want to be a park ranger”

“I want to be a drummer”

“I want to be a comic book penciler”

“I want to be a professional poker player”

The weirdest one of all, post high school, a HUGE chunk of Australians decide either before or during semester one of University that they want to:

“Take some time off, go backpacking and discover me!”

Now granted, discover me usually means go and have sex, drugs and rock and roll with a lot of foreign strangers but that concept of a “gap year” is blasphemy in Africa even among wealthy and middle class families.

What Does That Say About Us and About Them?

I think at the end of the day it says that human beings are smart creatures. We adapt to whatever circumstances and whatever roll of the dice God or this life gives us.

In Africa, most people can’t afford to take a gap year because they have no safety nets, or rather welfare nets, to support them in those years.

In the West folks can afford to go round the world sipping from goon bags and swapping spit with locals only to come back and open a costume shop because those who came before him fought for him to have those rights.

Today’s Lesson

The only thing I implore you is don’t assume that other people’s rules are your own. The limitations that you have in occupation aren’t necessarily the same ones your father had or your sister has or your best friend has. Get to know you, what your passionate about, what you can do well and where you can have the biggest impact. Go there. Please don’t be a robot. We already have enough of those.

I end by asking:

So what do you want to be when you grow up? Why?

Are you becoming who you wanted to be when you grew up?

What does that say about you?

To explore the human condition across cultures some more, stay on the email list or the RSS feed reader list.

Be blessed and bless other people all around ya,

Mwangi

Hello hello hello!

Racism in Australia

I work with the disabled about once or twice a week. A couple of days ago I was helping a disabled man with his morning routine. Over the course of the past couple of weeks we have become pretty good buds. By this I mean, we speak to each other on a very personal ‘man to man’ basis as opposed to a professional or superficial level of conversation.

It was at this level of familiarity and kinship that I got an insight into the Australian Caucasian that I never would have got otherwise.

Mandingo Fantasy

First of all, he began by telling me the reaction of all his other carers (they are all white Australian women who are above 40) when they heard that his newest carer was a young African male.

“It’s amazing! As soon as they heard that my carer was a black man, all four of them asked me the same thing. Is it true that they are h**g like donkeys?”

More on this in my post on Jungle Fever and below.

I Didn’t Even Know they Used the Word Nigger in Australia

The second insight took my breath away. He told me that apparently there is a very common Australian expression:

“That man is as dark as a nigger’s a**hole!”

Apparently, white Australians use that expression all the time, not only to describe black people but anything that is pitch dark or pitch black. As I left his home, thoroughly enlightened, I thought to myself:

“I must write a post where I try to break down what I have observed in Australia as far as racism is concerned!”

Whereas, the society is obviously way more complex than what I will put down on this post, I hope this post will help you navigate the murky waters of Australian society a little better.

1) Racism Isn’t that Big a Deal!

The first point is that compared to what you see and hear from American television and even in comparison to American and English society, race is not that big a problem here in Australia.

I spent six months in a country town on my own and never heard racist slogans screamed at me. I have lived in Melbourne and in Sydney and have never been lynched or threatened by a gang of white supremacists. In the city of Melbourne however I have had a few racist taunts screamed at me here and there but on average you will get it less than ten times in a whole year, and even that is really inflating the figures. In my opinion this occurs because:

1) We are Getting so Many Now and they are Getting More and More Used to Us

2) They Don’t Want to Be Classified as Racist Even When They Are

3) We Don’t Affect their World That Much, After All We Are One of the Smallest Minorities in Terms of Numbers

4) We Don’t Threaten Australians Economically – Jobs, fighting for land rights as Aboriginals are-in any major tangible way.

2) Be Careful of the Type of People You Hang Around

Your perception of racism in a place like this will be heavily clouded by the people you hang around. There are some people out here who constantly see themselves as ,” victims of racism,” and after a while their thinking starts to rub off on you.

3. Racist Folk Do Exist So Be Mindful But It Pales In Comparison to Years Past

To elaborate a bit on point number one, yes racists do exist in this society. There are events such as the Cronulla riots and articles and people such as these that remind us of that (The Abandon Skip guy isn’t half bad, he is actually a pretty reasonable guy. We don’t agree at all on certain things, but he is reasonable and respectful:I gotta respect that). However this society has definitely calmed down a lot in terms of racial hate. I remember talks I had with a Sri Lankan man who came here as a child in the 70s. He suffered the humiliation of being chased home from school everyday by white kids who’d beat him to a pulp for being different. Until the middle of the 20^th Century, Australia BY LAW was a White’s only society. They started to allow Greeks and Italians in the mid 20th century to work as manual laborers. In spite of being European they still had a helluva rough time.So though this may be one the most multicultural places on Earth, it only has less than a century of experience dealing with other cultures. I must say, considering that, this society has done pretty well. I don’t exist in fear of racist discrimination as I would were I in the States.

4. The Police Here Are Not Racist….But they Sure Do Meet Some Groups of People A lot

Yet again backing up to point number 2, police here rarely discriminate from what I have observed merely on the basis of skin colour, but there are certain groups of people who they keep meeting time and time again. There are certain groups of youth who just love them some criminal activity: Maoris, Turkish, Somalis, Sudanese, Lebanese etc etc. These groups from what I have seen are definitely targeted by the police. I remember talking to someone who used to hang around Somalis all the time when he went clubbing. One night outside of the club he was actually man-handled to the ground and cuffed by the police like a really bad episode of Cops. I have been clubbing left, right and centre in Melbourne and though I have some bad experiences involving bouncers, nothing as bad as my brother there. Apparently while he was sprawled on the floor, the line of questioning and conversation kept coming back to his Somali pals. All the groups I have mentioned above are really beautiful people, I have hung out with them all, if you hang around them, expect to have a different quality of relationship with the police.

5. The Mandingo Fantasy Thing

In an article I wrote in the past, I made fun of the Mandingo fantasy issue – where white women look at African men as nothing but well hung pieces of meat there to fulfill their sexual desire. Whereas I see a lot that’s funny about the whole thing, as the expression goes, behind every great comedy there is a tragedy.

The tragedy is that a lot of the interracial relationships you form here, for a variety of reasons, will be nothing but superficial, on the surface relationships where either you will be thrown away or you will throw other people away as soon as they stop fulfilling your desires.

Sidenote: For some reason, no African men have complained about the Jungle Fever article.All the complaints have come from White women. It’s like the promiscuity article where a lot of the flack came from males:People endlessly surprise and fascinate me. I love it!

6. The N Word

Fortunately, here I am speaking to a very small minority. My personal opinion: Please don’t use this word. I know all about the taking-back-our-power-by-redefining-what-was-once-a-negative-term but I don’t think we will make this world a better place by engaging in debates such as:

Is it really a word that should be used in the first place?

Why can black people say it and not white people?

Instead, let’s do away with the word all together. After all, it isn’t even our word. It was a word that was used by white opressors that then transferred over to the African American community, not our community. In addition to that, winning the N word debate won’t matter all that much when you are on your death bed. I don’t think you will be sitting on your death bed telling your son:

Because of me, African people all over the world could call each other nigga but white people couldn’t say the word nigger. But you have to say nigga not nigger, you understand boy.

There are far too many ways we can speak to each other in a respectful manner without having to open up the Pandora’s Box that is the N word.

Instead let’s focus our attention on building an egalitarian society where it won’t matter whether or not someone wants to call the other nigger, because we are equals in every way and it’s nothing but an empty word.

If you are older than 30 and still using this word, aren’t you supposed to be over this by now?

7. Aim Higher When You Get Here

I don’t know whether its as a result of racism, lack of ambition or both. However, almost the entire ruling class of Australia consists of White Anglo-Saxons with a so-small-you-almost-miss-it sprinkling of foreigners. I am surprised to no end by the fact that there aren’t more Indians and Asian people (I know Indians are Asian people but…you know what I mean, aah the ignorance of my language) in the ruling class, considering their HUGE numbers. I also think it would be a helluva-lot-of-cool if we had more African people who decide to make Australia home that take control of key institutions of power in Australia. After all, we are probably the best educated, if not definitely one of them, minority on Earth. We have work ethic. If you can read this blog, you have better English than 99% of people who try to speak English. Ascend to higher heights and be a hero for all to see.

Some random meandering thoughts on the State of race in Australia. I will probably end up expounding on this issue a lot more in future. For the time being, pleae feel free to give me a yell, or leave a response and let me know what you think of the article. Till then:

Be blessed and go out and bless people from other races, cultures and ethnicities,

Mwangi

Part 6 of the 10 things I wish I knew before I left Africa

Today, I challenge you to examine why you think the way you think. Who is it that gave you your ideas, your thoughts and your feelings about the world you live in? Who are the teachers, not necessarily academic, who impacted you the most? I think when we know where our thoughts and ideas came from, that is power. We begin to see what draws us to our teachers and what draws us to ideas and certain feelings. With such knowledge, we gain better control of ourselves and ultimately better control of our environment. This of course gives us greater power to make a better world.

Today, I thought I would share with you the first seven people who have had huge impact on my thought life and tell you why they did that. Without further ado:

1) Erwin Mcmanus

The head of Mosaic in Los Angeles, America. I first saw him speak in 2005. He was meant to speak on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at a conference that our church was hosting. I was only supposed to attend on Friday and Saturday. Instead, I not only attended all three services but I also seriously contemplated leaving Melbourne behind and following him back to LA as his personal servant (ala Jesus and his twelve helpers). However, of course I began to think about accommodation, air fare etc etc and chickened out.

A Bit of Erwin Mcmanus Life Story

For a brief biography on Erwin Mcmanus please check out this article on Wikipedia

Listen to the story of how he got his name and tell me this man doesn’t move you!

How Erwin Mcmanus Got His Name (Part one)

How-Erwin-Mcmanus-Got-His-name(Part two)

How Erwin Mcmanus Got His Name (Part three)

What I love about Erwin is:

1) He is a rebel: He is always challenging the status quo, be it with the subject matter of his sermons, the way he runs Mosaic or even the books he writes. I have always been a huge admirer of the rebel WITH a cause.

2) He speaks from the heart: I remember watching this guy pray and thinking to myself, “Wow! This guy is really dredging his words from the core of his soul. He is truly treating the moment and the words with respect.” He speaks without notes or visual aides of any sort, a bible in one hand and his heart on both his sleeves.

3) He is a servant of humanity: Prior to starting Mosaic, he lived a less-than-modest-actually-he-was-just-above-straight-up-poor life where he served the urban poor in the US. In addition to that, a lot of his talks are challenges for us to put our selfishness to the side, serve one another and love one another.

4) He is one of a kind: I have never heard anyone quite like Erwin in terms of speaking style, biography and even what he does at present – he is a futurist, lecturer, consultant and head pastor of a church that houses itself in an LA night club. People who are willing to step outside of the narrow confines of ‘normal behavior’ especially in pursuit of a higher cause always have my respect and admiration

5) He speaks in a meandering manner but you always come out with a nugget of truth: To be honest, usually midway through listening to Erwin speak, I usually don’t know what the sermon was meant to be about. Usually I don’t care. Erwin’s style is one where he moves from one nugget of truth to another, touching on everything from relationships to your meaning in life. I don’t know any other speaker who I can look at and say, ” I don’t know what the message of the talk was, but I don’t care, it changed my life anyway.”

6) His take on the Parable on the Talents: The revolutionary and unique way he managed to interpret a story I had heard all my life is pretty much what made me a Mcmanus-a-holic. Let me take you back to 2005, when a young turk found one of his heroes:

Erwin Mcmanus – His revolutionary take on the story of the talents (part one)

Erwin Mcmanus – His revolutionary take on the story of the talents (part two)

Initially I thought this would be one long article but now I think I will split this up into a series of seven because this allows me to go into greater depth on each speaker. Anyway I hope the media attached gives you greater insight into this phenomenal human being.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

NB: If you would like to read some of the work by Erwin Mcmanus then please click on this link for Erwin Mcmanus books

Hi,

Just came back from taking some time off blogging. I really really missed this blog and am glad to be back.

A Lot Has Happened: Quick Recap

Over the weekend, for those who don’t know, there was a peace agreement signed in Kenya. Apparently there was dancing and celebration all throughout Kenya and I send nothing but love down there. This is a bright light, that is hopefully THE END of a very dark period.

For much more insightful commentary on the situation please visit Global Voices Online and What an African Woman Thinks.

Secondly, my readership had a dramatic increase yet again over the weekend. To all who promoted my blog, a huge word of thanks.To all my new readers, feel free to visit the Welcome desk and enjoy your stay.

Finally, my last post on the different perceptions of promiscuity amongst the sexes kicked up quite a little storm. To be honest, I didn’t think the post would have the effect it has. I guess the only thing I would implore everyone to do would be to examine what their feelings are around the topic and WHY they feel the way they do. Because clearly this is a sensitive point for a lot of us and I would actually be curious as to why. So, if you have something to say about the promiscuous lifestyle in men and women please check out my last post and join the discussion.

The Power of Language:Part two

Just a couple of hours after I wrote the article on the power of language, I felt a bit of a ’stirring’ in my soul. I realized I had a little bit more to say about the subject and so allow me to add a little bit to the discussion.

Creating a ‘New Africa’

Right now, among Kenyan circles especially, there is a lot of talk about crafting a vision for the country. About redesigning our country from the ground up. I know this discussion is probably taking place in Chad, maybe even in Sudan, Ethiopia and Eritrea amongst others. I think in crafting this vision, we would be short-changed if we didn’t at least discuss language.

Colonization of Language

When the barbarians of the old colonial system decided it was time to take over Africa, a lot of them did it under the premise that they were ‘civilizing the savages’.

Civilizing: Can also be described as edifying, enlightening, humanizing, refining.

Savages: Lacking polish or manners or Vicious or merciless

Never mind the fact that they went about “civilizing” us in a savage way, but one of the things that all colonies insisted on was teaching us their language. It’s one of those things, that to be honest, I missed for a very long time. All colonial powers insisted on teaching us their language. Why?

Communicate for the Sake of Trade

Of course the initial reason is probably so that it would be easier for the powers to strip Africa of her resources and trade and exploit. No point trading day in and day out with someone who speaks Kiswahili when you can easily just teach him English. However I think it was a little more than that. They also did it so that:

1) We could see the world the way they see it: When you fully understand the language of a culture, you understand a lot about the culture. A lot of the metaphors in African language involve animals (Fahari wawili wakipigana, nyasi ndio itaumia – I know I said that wrong, my bad, but it basically means “When two cows fight, the grass gets hurt!”) and plants and the Earth because African societies and economies were based around agriculture. By comparison, watch your typical American movie and you realize that a lot of the language is the language of war (”Knock ‘em dead”, “You’re killing me”, “It’s like they’ve got a gun to my head”, “You’re the bomb!”). Never forget, the States has been at war with one nation after the other for almost every decade of it’s existence, not to mention the gun culture amongst other things that have probably combined to keep war and war ideas and metaphors perennially embedded in the American psyche.

When recreating our society, we must rewrite the text books and the language and grammar books to include the type of language, metaphor and proverb of the society that we want to create. If we want an egalitarian society, then let’s not make it difficult for ourselves by including metaphors such as ” Nobody remembers who won silver” in our national discussion, dialogue, debate and education.

Instead we can include metaphors such as, “All boats rising together.” “An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” “How can there be peace, Unless we all can eat?” etc etc. Again, to a lot of people this may sound like me being pedantic, however, never forget without a language we have no way of describing anything or putting words to what we want to create. Let’s describe the type of tomorrow we want to see and use this language to create a magnificent future.

Negative vs Positive Language

In addition to that I thought I would share with people some ways to use language to bring the positive out of a situation. This is something that I am pretty competent at and so I thought I would expand a bit on what I had spoken about in the first part of the article.

I Don’t Do This Anymore vs This is What I Will Do Instead

I don’t drink/smoke/take drugs: Whereas these are fine, anyone whose into goal setting will tell you that you never describe anything in the negative. Or at least only in the negative. This is because if we only have a negative state ( i.e. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t overeat) that leaves a vacuum. Instead we should always speak in terms of the positive future or the positive state we want to create to fill this vacuum. In so doing, we create a compelling future that we feel inspired to move towards.

After all that drinking, smoking, taking drugs was doing something positive for you. It was fulfilling some need or desire that you once had. Instead of saying I don’t drink, a more empowering way to describe the situation might be:

I am now free from the shackles of alcoholism and can now find a more empowering way to fulfill my need for excitement in my life.

or

I am now lucid and in control of my life.

Opportunity and Learning Experience

Again let me reemphasize how important it is to re-frame any problem or challenge that may face you as an opportunity or a learning experience. I will give you a simple example of something that happened to me and show you all the lessons that I learned from it:

A couple of months back, I moved to a new city. Now, the vacancy rate in the city was at about 2%. In addition to that, the tertiary institution that trained me was a hoax and so as I headed up into the city I basically had no qualifications of any sort and the housing situation was beyond terrible for any new tenants.

I have no idea how long I was there but for the entire time I was there I was homeless. In addition to that, for the first month or so, I had absolutely no source of income, and my savings were dwindling every day. From that experience I learned:

a) How to get a job when you have no qualifications or paperwork or address whatsoever (Go to a backpacker’s hostel and apply for the construction, landscaping and/or sales positions. They expect you to have problems with paperwork and so a lot of these places pay you in cash and some of them even pay you on a day to day basis so you can stay afloat)

b) How to get a job in your industry if you have no paperwork (Referees! Referees! Referees! Get people in your industry to be your referrals. In addition to that you could offer to work for your prospective employer for free to show them what you can do and ask them to only hire you if you seem like you can do the job)

c) How to ‘live’ in a city when you are homeless (Work for the first week flat out. Go on ebay or trading post or notice boards or anywhere where you can find cheap cars. Go buy a cheap car but make sure it has heating and air conditioning. Go to your local beddings store and get a blanket. If you need a daily shower, go to the local swimming/recreation centre or to the beach and use their public showers. Spend your free days in malls because of the food, toilet and make sure the mall has a Borders so you can read books for free) etc etc etc

In short, there are very few situations or challenges or obstacles that cannot be the seed of something greater. If one man’s crucifiction was described as ’salvation and hope’ for billions, then surely you can find the good in your not being able to ‘find a good man(or woman)’. Maybe you’re not good enough and it’s your opportunity to become a better person.

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. If you have something you want to say, you’ve heard it before, leave a comment or get in touch with me.

B blessd and bless othaz,

Mwangi

A couple of word smiths for you:

If you understand just what Lupe is saying in ‘Dumb it Down’, you are ‘the one’!

Lupe Fiasco – Dumb it Down

Hello, hello. I thought I would take a break from the writing for a couple of days and recharge my batteries a little bit. It would be an outrage for me to leave y’all high and dry and so I thought I would enlist the help of someone I met via this blog, Coach Caroline. Definitely one of the most interesting and passionate people I have spoken to in quite a while. Below she outlines some of the things that stand in the way of immigrants living the best lives possible. I hope it is of service to you. Leave comments below and I will get back to you as soon as I get back. Be blessed and bless others, Mwangi!

1. Negative people or dream killers.

A negative person is anyone who creates doubt and fear in you and pours cold water on your dreams with the intention of bringing your plans to a grinding halt. They are people who have resigned themselves to living unfulfilled lives and whose negative comments, toxic attitudes or actions are designed to cause loss of confidence either in yourself or in your abilities—if you allow it!

Sharing your dreams with the wrong person can be suicidal for your dream. Say goodbye to, naysayers, detractors, critics, enemies, hecklers or unbelievers and say hello to people who inspire, support, nurture and bring out the best in you.

2. Denial—being stuck in the past.

Regardless of who you were before you migrated to a new place, don’t live in denial any longer than you must. Your past successful life will always be a valuable part of who you are…no one can take that away from you. However, the new reality may mean that you can no longer be the successful, lawyer, doctor, accountant, CEO or professional you once were. Accept change and be ready to change and adapt! Spending your days talking about who you used to be or dwelling in the glory of your past successes will prevent you from applying yourself fully and creating a successful meaningful life.

3. Not knowing who you are and what you want to do.

At some point in your life you must answer the questions, “Who am I?” “What do I really want to do with my life?” “What fulfills me?” “What is my role and purpose on earth?” These questions are probably the most important questions that you will ever answer because they lay the foundation for your destiny and determine the course of your future. They help you get focused on what matters most and gain clarity about the next step to take. Based on them, you can avoid irrelevant, side tracking, time wasting, and emotionally draining activities On the other hand, when you don’t know who you are and what you want…you settle for anything!.

4. Low self-esteem and a victim mentality.

You feel bad about yourself, criticize yourself, look down upon yourself, judge yourself harshly and are not proud of who you are. These negative feelings lead to a sense of insignificance, apathy and hopelessness. Further, when you allow obstacles, your insecurities or a “woe is me” mentality to rob you of the pleasure of achieving your goals—you choose to fail. The fact that you are an immigrant doesn’t make you a nobody. You are somebody! You matter and you have an important contribution to make to the world. There are countless inspiring stories of people who have overcome all odds and achieved their dreams. If you take responsibility for your life and destiny…you too can become that story. Value yourself because no matter where you are from or how you look or sound like—you can still be different and unstoppable!

5. Succumbing to the voice of your inner critic.

Usually, there are two dialogues going on in your mind. One is the voice of empowerment that encourages you, “c’mon, you can do it, you are trained and qualified to do this, you are naturally gifted to do this or this is what you have always wanted to do,” and the other is the inner critic’s voice that taunts and instills fear in you. It whispers, “you can’t do it, you will fail, you won’t be accepted, you are different or you are not good enough” and so forth. These conflicting voices go on and on and pull you in different directions. It’s almost like a battle between good and evil. Which voice are you listening to? Which voice is winning? To succeed, you must conquer your inner critic and win.

6. Talking big and not walking the talk.

If all you are doing is talking about your ideas, gathering information, reading, researching, attending seminars, and listening to what everyone else is saying and not applying all that learning and knowledge to make your life happen…you are preparing to fail. If you have worthwhile goals and you have not implemented them in a real and tangible way, you need to pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What is going on with me?” “What’s holding me back?” “What am I afraid of?” If all your friends know about your big plans but have never seen any supporting evidence; it’s probably time to start walking the talk!

7. Not asking for help!

When you want to get things done and are stuck because you don’t know what to do next…ask for help. Invest in yourself. Get support from a trained coach, expert, mentor or a friend who knows what they are doing and can help you come up with a plan to achieve success. Seek help from people who are already succeeding and making something out of their lives or who can hold you accountable for getting back on track and staying there!
Remember that by your action or lack of action…you are making plans for something!
Overcome your barriers and let the evidence of what you want, speak for itself!
==================================================
Caroline Jalango is a life strategist and motivational coach for women who want to do better for themselves. She is the author of: “Settle for Less No More”- What every woman needs to know about doing better for herself and “You Deserve to Feel Good”- How to ensure that you do! To order your copy, visit http:// www.motivationzone.com

I may not be a fully fledged member of his groupie team, but I must give credit when it’s due. This man has a way with words.

The Power of Language

Language: A system of signs, symbols, gestures, or rules used in transmitting thoughts, feelings and ideas from one person or place to another

Today I thought I would share with you some quick thoughts on language and how you can use it to your advantage. Whereas the impact of language varies from person to person, I can tell you that in my case,the way that I have used language has had a huge impact on my life. After all……………

An Event is Just an Event. Language Gives it Meaning

If someone throws a rock at you, the only thing that has happened is that someone has thrown a rock at you. Somewhere in your brain, soon after, you will form words and change the way you use your body (body language) and in so doing will give that event meaning to you.
What I really want to emphasize today is the large number of choices that exist in terms of how one can use language to not only describe this and all other situations in your life. One could define (by this I refer to using language to give an event meaning) the rock-throwing event as:

a) An accident

b) A personal attack

c) A bullying incident

d) Proof that people hate them so much that they throw rocks at them.

e) Someone is crying out for some help, attention and love.

Now of course many other factors, especially the context of the situation come into play when describing just what has gone on. But undoubtedly, the way you define the situation will affect how you respond to it.

Don’t Believe Me

When I was a kid, I didn’t have a stone threw at me, I had a snail thrown into my mouth while one kid held my hands pinned behind my back. I immediately framed the situation as one in which I had been defeated and my dignity had been taken away. I went under the stairs and cried and cried and cried.

What was interesting was that the next day, I said to myself, though subconsciously,

“Well they took my dignity for a day, but it’s back now.”

I know other people who faced with the same situation defined it as proof that they are scum and not worthy of attention or love and this has gone on to have adverse effects on their lives. Sometimes events such as this even lead to suicide because people feel they no longer want to live in a world in which they now feel unwanted.
On the other hand, when Martin Luther King got stoned, he looked at it as the price he had to pay to get ‘to the promised land’.

The Choices are Infinite

I want to keep this post short and sweet, so let me reemphasize again that the choices are infinite in terms of how you can use language to define a situation.

It all comes back to being in control of yourself . After all, if you look back to the definition I have given for language, you realize that it is a tool that we use to communicate with ourselves (sometimes we forget that we have choice over how we use language to converse with ourselves) and others. What this means is that:

a) When you feel that heavy stirring and discontentment in your soul, you can choose how you will define it. You don’t immediately have to jump up and call it depression, or ‘the end of the world’. You can call it a:

1) Stirring in my soul

2) Sign from my heart, body, mind and soul that something needs to be fixed in my world.

3) A divine sign that I need to grow because where I am no longer satisfies me (How is that for a novel one?)

Now I know probably every one reading this has had a time in their lives where they described what they were feeling as ‘being depressed’, I’ve been there too. I want you to look back at the time and imagine just how differently you would have interacted with the scenario if you used the gift of language to define the situation as a stirring in my soul and a divine sign that things need to change.

When people define what they are feeling as depression, it usually becomes a pretty good excuse to wallow in self-pity and engage in all sorts of self-destructive behavior. If you define the situation as a stirring, all of a sudden it becomes a challenge. All of a sudden it becomes an opportunity to grow. All of a sudden you have a better place you could be, and the feeling is merely an indication that you need to be heading there. Do you see how different the situation becomes when you define it differently?

The Situation in Kenya

I have probably spoken about this before, and if I have apologies for the redundancy, however, I think the point must be made. How are you using language to define what is going on in Kenya right now?

Do you define it is another incident that supports the belief that Africans are nothing that animals and sub-human? If so, to you, the situation at home is probably hopeless and you feel guilt-free in allowing Kenya to continue down it’s depressing self-destructive road.

Do you define it as an opportunity as so many people in the blogosphere have? When you do this, all of a sudden you begin to notice things like:

a) The youth of Kenya have a passion and an energy that is just waiting to be unleashed and can be fired in all sorts of positive directions.

b) Our youth are politically active. Australia, truth be told is pretty good in terms of youth participation in politics, here kids get pretty engaged. However, my understanding is that in places like States, for young people, politics are about as relevant as the birth of a new born amoeba ( I know they don’t give birth, they do the whole divide-into-two-organisms things but you get my point)

c) People in Kenya are aware of their tribe. It was just over the weekend that I was learning about the Luo customs regarding death – the wailing women, wife inheritance and the staying with the body among other things. Truth be told, in terms of death, Luos are absolute geniuses. The customs around dyeing allow ample time for grief, creating a sense of completion surrounding someone’s life and moving on ( I will definitely post about this in future). People have not forgotten their tribal customs. We need to be recording these customs and entering them into the debate and the definition of a national identity that we are all currently striving towards.

I hope in the example above you have also seen how the use of language completely changes the way we interact with the situation.

Opportunity vs Stressor

One thing that has had a huge impact on how I interact with the world is redefining every single negative emotion or thing I ever feel or do into an opportunity. Any time I feel bad, I always ask myself:

How can I convert this event into an opportunity?

I was blessed with teachers who taught me how to use language to take a situation from being “just stress” or “the end of the world” or “depressing” to an opportunity for me to learn something or ( as said above) ” a divine indication that something isn’t right in my world and I need to fix it.”

My hope is that this post has not been to abstract for you and it will have some practical application for you.

As always be blessed and bless other people (Me using language to tell you to carry yourself as one who has been given many gifts and talents and use these gifts and talents to help other people discover and utilize theirs),

Mwangi

PS: This man is a genius, a hilarious genius

Well, you should be!!

I am pretty psyched because today’s post is yet another post that was not pre-planned. It just kinda happened. So today I had the chance to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with someone. As the conversation flowed we eventually got to a point in the conversation where we began to discuss the idea of self-control. The conversation went a little something like this ( I paraphrase and add a little spice to it):

“You know we are the most educated lot of people in human history. But we still have such little self-control and self-discipline. People know how to classify themselves as emotional eaters, passive-aggressives, ADD/ HD but very few people actually know how to and actually live a life of self-control.”

There are some areas that we, after the struggles our forefathers have gone through so that we can have the levels of education and opportunity we have now, should have completely mastered. There are certain areas where we should have full control and in fact a lot of the time we know we should have self-control in these areas. But we don’t. Some of these important areas are:

1) What We Eat

2) What We Put into Our Bodies (Substance Abuse)

3) Sex and Our Sexuality

4) Our Emotions

5) Relationships

6) Money

As this is a distinction that I came to today, forgive me if I meander and digress a lot as I feel I have a lot to say. Feel free to just scroll through the headlines and read the headline areas that matter most to you as I try to breakdown my ideas in each of these areas.

What we Eat

I have already discussed how I think that we as a society really messed up in making eating a recreation activity first and a nutritional activity second. My personal belief is that a shift in attitude to where eating becomes a nutritional activity first and foremost and ‘food as entertainment’ is only a by thought is one of the best ways to get rid of all the food related problems we suffer as a society.

However, we all know that that is a little too out of reach for a lot of us- myself included at present, though I will change that in future. Therefore let’s discuss where we are now in terms of eating and health and nutrition.

Every African Woman is On a Diet and Every Man is Competing for the Pot-Belly of the Year Award

The way things work back in Africa and here in the diaspora is a little something like this.

Women: I need to lose weight. I have just five kilograms (seriously? just five, woman, be serious, just five?) I need to lose. You know what it is. It was my birthday last week and I ate a little too much cake that’s all (How many birthdays have you attended in the last couple of weeks?) and on and on and on

The female way of doing it tends to be:

First: Create excuses as to why they are the way they are

Second: Try to delude themselves into thinking it’s not that bad and

Third: Postponing doing something about it by pretending to have brainstorming sessions.

Some ladies actually go the extra mile and do something like getting a detox kit or joining the gym but usually quit as soon as they get to a weight they are comfortable with only to rinse and repeat.

Men: I love to eat. I don’t want a six-pack unless it’s a six pack of the coldest brew. Me I love my belly-so-big-that-it-gives-me-dicky-do-disease-where-my-belly-sticks

-out-more-than-my-d***y-do and I am sticking to it.

Men, it’s pretty bad. There are some men who are quite dedicated to health and fitness and vitality (as there are women) but when a man does not care, he simply does not care.

So What Does All this Have to Do With Self-Control?

I think at the core of this mess, a lot of us want the result. We may not all want to look like Shemar Moore and Halle Berry (well maybe we do) but all of us want to wake up feeling healthy and vibrant and not suffering from minor ailment after minor ailment.

I think there is no doubt that we all want the results of great bodies, health and vitality but none of us seem to want to do the work. Instead we will create all sorts of stories, fables, riddles, mythologies and odd facts that justify us staying where we are.

The Pastor G Story and Other Excuses

I have shared this story before, but I think it’s so quirky and special that it’s worth sharing again. Pastor G’s philosophy to health and nutrition went a little something like this:

Didn’t God make me? Didn’t God make everything? Well doesn’t that mean that I can eat anything?

Other ways that people justify stuffing their faces and not taking care of their bodies:

1) X food just tastes too good, I just can’t leave it – Can’t leave it or won’t leave it?. Especially if you are not struggling financially, do you want to tell me that you cannot find some way of satisfying your taste buds? You can try healthy or vegan or vegeterian cooking classes. You can go and speak to nutritionists about alternatives to the foods you currently enjoy. You can try new recipes with new ingredients you have never tried before.You can even go to foreign restaurants to sample exotic cuisine among a host of other options.

2) Exercise sucks! It is painful and it’s boring – Really? You cannot find a way to move your body that you enjoy and can do long term. You can try running, pillow fighting (this should become a sport), wrestling, boxing, kayaking, hiking and walks, weight training, dodge ball, dancing, trampolining, gymnastics, martial arts, theatre or you can hire a personal trainer who can help you sample various ways to move your body. The ways to move your body on a regular basis exist. If all else fails, get up, shut the fridge and just walk somewhere.

3) I am an Emotional eater: I don’t even know if a lot of men will know what this is. As a result of watching a lot of Oprah, I have a pretty good base level understanding of what this is. Bottom line: We are ALL emotional eaters. All of us eat to fulfill an emotional need or as a result of a particular emotional urge.

Emotional eaters are usually distinguished as people who eat in order to mask pain of some sort.Well that’s surprisingly common to. I don’t think I need to tell you, that a tub of ice cream after your relationship ends will not mend your heart as much as it will clog it. Find alternative ways of filling that hole: If you are a woman of faith, put the cookie down and look skyward for some intervention.

If it’s pain as a result of someone who hurt you, study how people have forgiven people and moved on from the wrongs of the past.

An Important Digression

You must listen to this podcast on how the Apartheid freedom fighters forgave the Boers and the Brits who victimized them. Powerful episode of a great show:

All in the Mind episode:The Psychological Power of Forgiveness in South Africa) .

Based on the book below which I have never read. If you have read the book and have some thoughts on it, contact me

Digression Over

I know I am telling you nothing new. Food will not fill a hole. It may stuff it or even clog it up, but the wound will still be there. There are far too many tools that can help you master your psychology in this day and age, use them. I know it’s not easy, but is eating yourself into early death a better alternative?

What We Put In Our Bodies (Substance Abuse)

I love to put forward challenges to myself and others that force us to lift our standards and think about how high is high. A few months after I became a teetotaler, the temptation to go back to drinking started to come back strong. I realized that to a large extent I was a pretty empty vessel without the alcohol. After all:

a) Most of my happy moments throughout the year 2006, if not all, involved alcohol in some way shape or form.

b) Almost all of my recreational time was spent drinking.

c) Almost all of my social interactions were over alcohol or involved alcohol in some shape or form.

I know for a lot of you, especially in the diaspora this is the case. So I wanted to go back because I had no excitement or nothing much happening if the drinks weren’t flowing. It is then that I created a standard for myself that pretty much stops me from going back:

If I am not man enough or strong enough or clever enough to be able to create the same emotional experiences alcohol gave me without having a drink, then I really don’t deserve to drink. Once I can live the same type of vibrant, exciting life that I lived in my drinking days without depending on a substance, then I deserve to drink.”

A declaration such as the one above is definitely a declaration of self control. You are declaring that YOU are in control of your emotions and how you feel. When you get “stressed out”, you are saying to yourself, ” I am willing and able to take on the challenge of solving the problem on my own rather than paying $250 a weekend to run away from the problem.”

The main tip I would give anyone, especially if you are new is don’t drink when you are stressed. You are a child of Africa:It is sad, but true that before the day you die, you will experience A LOT of stress. Learn how to deal with your stress in a constructive way that will move you forward rather than alcohol.I have seen way too many people, depressed, walking-dead or deported because of the poisonous brew.

Sex and Our Sexuality

This one is for the gentlemen in da house. Here we need to step up QUICK. I am not talking about sex education, in the way that we currently understand it. I am not talking about knowing what the vas deferens or the birth canal are, far from it.

I am actually talking about learning how to and teaching each other and our younger Africans how to take control of your sex drive. It saddens me how whenever there is some tragedy somewhere in the world, rape always occurs as a consequence. It’s sad that even when a man has nothing to lose, he will disgrace himself by violating a woman.

Why haven’t we began a dialogue about just how we can fully control our sex drives even when we are stressed or downtrodden or beaten down. Why haven’t we began to discuss something that is so key to maintaining the dignity of the male and the female in this day and age and forever more.

Let’s look at the more humorous side of this equation: How many women would you have slept with, dear sir, if you had control of your sex drive? How many times would you have saved yourself from leaving the club with the offspring of a rhinoceros and a warthog (and that’s just the personality). How many hours would you have dedicated to worthwhile pursuits, academia, sciences, mental stimulation, if you were free from having to scheme and think about how to pick up that girl who you really don’t like but still wanna shag?

It’s odd how something so quintessential and key to the human experience as sex has gotten reduced to a simple ABC (Abstinence, Be Faithful and Use a Condom) without the far more crucial discussion of how to make ABC happen. How does a man stay faithful? What skills does he need to abstain from sex? What are the pitfalls to avoid?

Seeing as almost no man I know will ever be willing to actually experiment to figure out how this stuff works ( btw if you have or know someone who has, please share, I will gladly distribute the information) I have decided that that is one of the areas I want to experiment in.

How does one take full control of their sex drive? What skills do you need? What pitfalls should you avoid? What role will sex play in your life if you are not guided by the hundreds of erections and sexually stimulating images we are typically exposed to a day?

Remember how I spoke about it being hard to focus on what matters, how hard will this experiment be. And how much more will it be worth it, when it actually works.

Our Emotions

I have alluded to how important it is for us to really take control of this area already. However, I definitely think it is worth going deeper on.

As a society, in my humble opinion we are a society of backward rationalizers (trust me, I cannot say that in one mouthful). What this means is, we will make almost all of our decisions on an emotional bent and then create logical reasons, justifications, as to why we did it ( the marketers in the house know what I’m saying).

This is true for when we overeat a, it’s true when we drink and it’s true for a whole host of destructive behaviors.

The Way I Lost My Virginity

Classic example of this, is the way that I lost my virginity ( I am going to go back and reclaim it, why lie) . Now the girl who I slept with, slept with me for basically three reasons:

1) She was a nymphomaniac ( I was one of many at the time)

2) She was trying to make her boyfriend jealous so he would come back to her ( He did).

3) She was stressed at ‘ the anguish’ of what she was going through with her boyfriend.

Now, the first two, I don’t mind, but I must say the third reason I do mind. I don’t tend to get angered by anything, but nothing angers me like people who feel entitled to lashing out at the world because they are going through some problem.

Now, I must admit that at the time I lost my virginity I really did not care about her or her emotional mess and so didn’t care enough to even understand why she slept with me. It’s actually many months later as I was thinking back to what we did that I began to think:

She was always quick to tell me how she was stressed and how this was bothering her and how that was. She was also quite quick to use these as justifications to do all sorts of destructive things.

Now, for those who may be wondering, I don’t hate the girl. She is actually quite a sweet girl and I adore her…………

BUT how many people do you know who are like that? Who use any problem they have as justification to do all sorts of things? This is especially true for the women. Once the MASC has been reconvened, men of the world beware, the women will suck you dry and dump you in a dry heap faster than you can count two quarters to the fifty cent.

I Told You I Would Digress, Back to the Matter at Hand

When you have an emotional problem, you feel sad, depressed, lonely, sad, bitter or solve what is at the root of it. It may sound like elementary logic but sadly elementary logic isn’t always available or applied. Solve what is at the root of any of your emotional problems. Nine times out of ten, you have played a role in causing the problem. Ten times out of ten, you have power over how you will go about solving the problem or how you will learn from it or even use the problem to your advantage.

Relationships

I was thinking today as I was sitting down to write this post. We are pretty damn lucky. We have hundreds if not thousands of years of recorded history about millions upon millions of marriages. We have documentation from a wide variety of cultures about the different types of marriage set ups that exist: arranged community wide marriages, marriages for love, marriages for the sake of citizenship documentation and so on and so on.

We know the advantages and disadvantages of each type of marriage. We know how arranged community marriages tend to last more than marriages for love with one of the reasons being the fact that the woman didn’t just marry the man; she married a clan and families have become blended and parts of each other’s lives. We know how marriages for love are fantastic because you actually get the chance to marry your best friend not just a partner. We also know how the clubbing culture is fantastic in teaching people how to flaunt their sexuality and make things sexier and more seductive (sometimes).

Why aren’t we mixing and matching and experimenting more in this area? We were so quick to throw away our old ways of doing things and go with the flow to marry for love. Why didn’t we, or don’t we stop and look at what is great about different types of relationships and try mixing and matching to create the perfect type of relationship?

Why do we allow our emotions to sway us so? I can tell you with my love sickness right now, if I had no sense of self-control, Lord knows what I would have done. We really have such an opportunity to make this area of our life splendid? Why don’t we take control of that opportunity and leverage it?

Money

Do you get a high from buying things? Does the thought of saving, or investing, bore you to tears? Do you then make decisions on the basis of these feelings as opposed to your long term prosperity?

In the West, you are exposed to 3000 advertising messages a day. It’s infinitely easier to spend a day buying when you have money than it is to not buy and even harder to then put this money away or invest it. Are you in control of your financial future or is the marketer?

I hope this has been food for thought for you as it has been for me. It is great that I actually get to write something that you read so thanks for stopping by. Need to get something of your chest: comment below or send me email.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

How do you do it? Copy successful people. I really don’t feel like beating about the bush today. The heart palpitations are yet to cease and at the moment I am feeling very assertive and to the point. Let me give you some snippets of thoughts intended to drive you to action.

If you want to guarantee success in any field of endevour-psychological, spiritual, financial, whatever, find someone who has achieved success in that field. Read their books, study them and/or talk to them and figure out:

1) What do they think and how do they think?

2) How do they spend their time? What do they do with their time?

3) What do they do with their bodies especially when engaged in the field of endevour that you are pursuing success in? (This tip is more valuable than you would think)

Back to One of My Favourite Subjects: the Media

This yet again is why I think the type of media you consume is so important. When you watch a movie or listen to a song, you see how the characters or artists think and feel about life. You see how they use their physical bodies and for an hour and a half or three minutes and x seconds you get a glimpse into how they spend their limited time on this Earth.

Autobiographies are Brilliant

The man who invented or thought of the autobiography is absolutely brilliant. For argument sake ( ) let’s say I have studied him and know what he was thinking when he invented the autobiography. I am sure he thought to himself:

You know what, I have this war I have to win/sheep I have to sheer/woman I have to woo/ job I have to get………..Rather than me struggling and taking years of trying and failing to figure out just how to do it, why not just ask someone who already does it well. Why not just sit down with the best sheep sheerer/ladies man/game winner/employed person that I can think of and ask them, “How do you do it?” Then I can take that knowledge and do what they do and chances are that I will get the success they will get.

Few Things are Constant

In this world there are very few things that 99.99% of us in this human experience share:

a) Physical bodies that are roughly similar in design.

b) Brains that are similar in the way they are constructed.

c) Time that goes on in a linear fashion and that anyone who is Westernized measures in 24 hour cycles.

That means that just like Bill Gates, you have a body, you have a brain and you have twenty four hours in a day. Don’t you think it would be worth the time to figure out how a man like Mr. Gates spends his time, uses his body and his mind. Don’t you think that would move you a little closer to living like Mr. Gates.

Now I Understand Why the Rich Hang Out With the Rich and Keep Getting Richer

There are many things I don’t particularly like about the culture of wealth. One of the things I absolutely adore is how business people think about business relationships. When successful business people (this pretty much applies to successful people in all field of endevours that I have briefly studied) are deciding who they want as friends, they think to themselves:

What type of person do I want to become? What type of life do I want to lead? What do I want in my life?

Then they make friends with people who either are on their way to becoming or are these things. This guarantees success for a number of reasons. One of them is the fact that you have examples to copy. You have successful people/ soon to be successful people around you whose thought patterns, body patterns and habits of time use you can learn from and apply to your lives. This is definitely one of the things that pushes you exponentially further along to the path of success.

What Brought this About? The Australian Government

What made me think of writing this article was a news story that I heard today about the new Australian government. These guys have hardly been in power but already they have lived up to so many of their promises:

1) One of the main things that got them in was the scrapping of workplace reforms that were instituted by the previous government. They did that.

2) They apologized to the Aboriginal community who btw, truly make you envious of the fact that you live in Africa. In my entire existence I have never seen a community that has been so psychologically damaged by occupation/colonization like the Aboriginal people of Australia.

I am not a political pundit like many of you. If any of you writes a blog post about the track record of the new Australian government please send it through. However, from what I can see, this is quite possibly the best government ever. They are not only fulfilling their promises but actually improving their country. So I thought to myself , ” If someone writes a book about Kevin Rudd, the way he’s going, I will be the first to buy.”

The Power of Mentors and Role Models

Ultimately this is what mentors and role models are all about. I guess this post was a little long winding but in short my advice to you, if you want to succeed:

Find someone who started out like you currently are, or as close to possible as you currently are, and managed to achieve success. Read their books, listen to their tapes or lectures. Write them a letter or an email and ask them how they did it. If possible get them to mentor you and guide you. If you do this, and you follow your mentor’s instructions to the letter, I see absolutely no reason why you cannot achieve his success.

Finally: Why is the Way You Use Your Body Important?

1) Emotion: For those who didn’t know, every emotion that you experience has a physical component to it. I wish I could find my psychology text book from many years ago to give you the exact definition but I do remember that the text book made it very clear that an emotion is not only a mental but a physical experience. This explains why you never see depressed mourners smiling or Grammy award winners hanging their heads and dragging their feet as they claim their award.

When you figure out how someone uses their body you get a deeper understanding of their mental states and how they feel when they are performing at a high level of success. Copying that brings you a little closer to their experience.

2) The Moves: Just like the Brazilians have the soccer moves and skills necessary to win the World Cup ( I know, it was Italy, but in my delusional heart, Brazil and France won). Leaders tend to carry themselves with a certain posture (usually a very open, head up type of posture), speak with a certain tone (usually loud and clear) and use certain gestures repeatedly. Copy their posture and you are assuming the body of a leader and complement this with the mental habits of success and you are basically galloping to the finish line.

I am feeling a little under the weather today so apologies should this post not have my usual zest. I shall rest up and come back tomorrow with double the gusto. Any thoughts, ideas or things that I have left out? Either leave a comment below or contact me.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Si you know as African bloggers and bloggers worldwide to support each other is a must. Today I will share with you an interview conducted by people from www.somethingcool.ca when they had a chat with the African blogger Sunny. You can find her blog at: Project Sunshine

Enjoy; be blessed;bless others;Mwangi

Project Sunshine Aims to Bring Some Light to Africa

Over lunch the other day, a friend of mine and I were discussing some weighty matters: tax season, the writer’s strike, global warming, when our conversation turned to what my friend called “the most doomed nation on Earth” – Africa.

“Notice how there’s never, like, any good news that comes out of that place?” my friend commented while taking a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich. “Which is understandable, really – people die over there in the thousands every day from everything from war to AIDS. I’m pretty sure people just aren’t supposed to live there.”

It was hard to argue. I can’t remember the last time I read something positive about the continent of Africa. The last image in the news I could recall seeing from there was that of a teenage boy holding a bloodied machete in his hand – not exactly the picture of peace and prosperity. I knew, though, there that had to be some good news from Africa, so I went home, logged on and went in search of something nice to say about Africa.

My mission was a partial success. I found something interesting about Africa – and someone equally as interesting to go along with it. My journey took me to “Project Sunshine” – a blog written by an articulate and intelligent woman named “Sunny”, who informs the masses about Africa. A recent blog etnry entitled “Reporters: Get Kenyan Stories Right” was all about the media’s misrepresentation of Africa.

“As many of the headlines and tasteless display of our maimed and dead, there still exists compelling evidence that suggests that Africa in the eyes of many foreign journalists seems to have no history beyond the present,” Sunny wrote. “Africans can be evil savages with a thirst for blood or a disarrayed people in need of redemption, and, that Africans are inherently different. Do these assumptions justify treating images of Africans at their weakest as voyeuristic novelty cards for front pages? Many good stories exist, however, the best stories came from people with a genuine desire to connect the world with a comprehensive view of the post-elections violence.”

Intrigued, I decided I needed to get to know Sunny a bit more and learn more about what motivates her to write her blog, described as “Women, Technology, Social Entrepreneurship and Other Developments”. It turned out she was more than happy to answer my questions, and even had some of her own.

Interview with Sunny

SCN: Sunny, I have to ask – why did you start your blog and why is it so important to you?

I started blogging in 2005.It is a space where I express my views on media, Africa, Kenya, women, sustainable development and politics. I realized very early in my web log writing that there are not as many women, particularly young women who have traveled inter-continentally talking about issues as I would have hoped. I am extremely fortunate to have had the opportunities and education I got, especially as an African woman and I hope to share more about my experiences and those of other women through this blog. I believe that there is still so much hope in Africa, that we are still very high on the happiness index, and that we are still an innovative space on the planet.

You know so much about the continent, do you live there or something?

I am based in the United States. For the majority of my life, however, I lived in Nairobi, Kenya.

A friend of mine and I were having lunch and he said to me, “Africa is the most doomed nation on earth.” – do you agree or disagree?

First off, Africa is not a nation. It is at continent of over sixty independent sovereign states. Kenya alone has forty two separate ethnic communities or tribes alone. Africa is the richest nation right now, and that means that we have intense pressure to tap into these resources, particularly to participate in the global economy. The most striking part about Africa is that we are ‘doomed’ to forever receive foreign aid. What people do not know is that there is more transfer from the global south to the north than ever before. Consider all the repayment of debt placed upon African nations and the crippling effects of structural adjustment programs that have rendered many nations incapable of competing on the world market.

Do you think the media is doing a good job with its reporting in Africa? I’m guessing you don’t.

The media is not doing enough balanced reporting on Africa. Faced with the task of presenting world news to a globalized audience, many of the media houses have been slow to catch on to the need for accurate reporting of news on the ground. There is a heavy dosage of the ‘famine, disease and death rhetoric’ and not enough of the positive. For instance few media houses have reported on open source appropriate technology for agriculture, when this innovation is taking place right on the continent. Fewer journalists, however, are willing to be in residence to learn the stories.

There is a double standard in the portrayal of many of the stories. In Kenya this past month, for example, we were awash with images of the injured, the dying and the dead on every major news site. I am yet to see mortuary photos here or the photos of burn victims, scars and all from events in the United States. Why did the editors feel so inclined to portray these gut-wrenching images of Kenyans instead? There were literally thousands of these images, which scarcely respected the dignity of the victims and their families by some modesty. At the same time, the silent epidemic of gender violence in the post-elections period has gone vastly underreported, as well as other key initiatives to stem the violence.

There is a resurgence however of accurate media reporting from independent media houses and internet sites. That is encouraging. For instance for commentary, we relied on Kenyan bloggers, such as KenyanPundit ( kenyanpundit.com) and now on reporting websites such as Ushahidi.com. (’Ushahidi is Swahili for “witness”) so for instance, when an incident of violence or a successful peace initiative takes off, one can report this via SMS/Text to the website.

Do you think North Americans would care more about what goes on there if they knew more about it?

It’s interesting. I just spoke with a student colleague about the violence surrounding women in the internally displaced camps in Kenya, and though I had immersed myself in learning about this issue, I was still shocked to hear that she had not yet heard about any of these developments outside of the media coverage of the high level negotiations with Annan and earlier with Asst Secretary of State, Jendayi Fraser. She, like other North Americans would care a lot more if these were issues that they had the choice to view if reported more often.

I think that particularly among the younger generation there is an interest in travel to Africa and for initiatives such as the (Red) and ONE campaigns and Darfur Action. There is a growing thirst for knowledge among students and the online community for instance as we see from this interview. It is hard to tell whether this interest is purely celebrity or more long lasting. I do believe, however, that by and large North Americans are shortchanged with the news from early on. Despite the presence of web news and even newspapers reporting on the minute, there still is not enough information about Africa in the education systems of many states and regions. The interest in world affairs certainly needs to be taught early enough so that the population acquires a taste for international stories to a greater depth.

What do you do when you are not blogging?

I am an undergraduate in urban studies and economics. So far I am mastering the fine art of thirty-minute cooking and navigating the maze of summer jobs and internships for my 2008 experience.

Do you think there is a simple “solution” to Africa that other nations could implement?

Africa’s needs can only really be solved by Africans. One has to imagine the massive brain drain from our research laboratories universities and think-tanks that simply make us poorer for our own experts, and then note the disincentives to return home for many of the leading scholars and minds after they complete their studies. We are part of a diverse and interconnected globe and so we must find ways to make sustainable development a reality, with as much local ownership of the initiatives as possible.

What about solutions to other nations, like, say, Iraq?

Iraq is a complicated region. I do not think that here is a simple solution. Many people have lost their lives and the fighting forces are exhausted on both sides, and need to seek a peaceful end to this involvement.

Many people may not know this but, through international media such as the Beeb, people in the most remote regions of Africa have strong opinions about the war in Iraq. We are living in an interwoven world and none of us can afford not to think of the potential impact of the war on future generations, whether we are in rural Uganda or the fashion runways of Cape Town

What has the response to your blog been? Is it making a difference? How many people read it?

So far, the response to my blog has been rather good with a mixed readership. My blog is also part of the Kenyan Bloggers Webring, an aggregator of blogs by Kenyans and friends of Kenya worldwide (kenyaunlimited.com)

How long do you intend to keep highlighting issues in Africa?

We have a saying that you can never count the hairs on your head, they are too many. Likewise, there are still so many African stories to be told that I will never tire of sharing my home continent with the world and engaging in activism about it.

You know, there are many of us who believe Africa is about as Internet-savvy as an Inuit village. Your discussion about Kenyan bloggers prove this is false. Why do we have this erroneous portrayal of African technical knowledge? And just how connected is Africa?

In many pictures of Africa, there are hardly any buildings, nor people for that matter. A lot of the Africans portrayed are herding or just part of the landscape, (which is amazing by the way!) It is hard to recreate images of a connected populace whether by internet or by mobile phone. Africans have, in many cases leaped into the information age. Although many countries, and I can only speak of Kenya, are hampered by infrastructure and cost hurdles, there is a strong desire to keep at pace with the rest of the world technologically.

Finally, how would you characterize the average North American’s relationship with the mainstream media? Are we simply gullible, or does the media feed us only what we ask for?

For a region with hundreds of millions of people, there is too little diversity in the content. It puzzles me that these societies, widely believed to be free and democratic are not demanding more broad-based content from their media houses. But if the ratings are the only measure, then we will continue to be fed a mixture of Britney-reality TV and truly innumerable advertisements.

Oh great. At least we have your blog to get us through.

I hope I am making a difference. That should be our goal right?

The love illness continues, however I am now lucid enough to write a post that I think is pretty generally applicable.

Fear

There are many ways to describe fear in the English language: terror, anxiety, trepidation, being scared and being frightful among others. For many of us in the world, you can add three words to describe fear: apathy, criticism and selective ignorance.

Apathy, Criticism and Ignorance are Great

Make no mistake about it. To a large extent, a life of apathy, a life of a critic and the lives of the ignorant are great lives. For those who are not clear on what I mean, answers.com says that:

Apathy: Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.

A critic: One who censures or finds fault or a harsh examiner or judge

Ignorance: The condition of being uninformed or unaware; lack of knowledge or learning.

To a large extent ignorance, apathy and being a constant critic are absolutely phenomenal ways to live because they prevent you from having to engage in areas of importance, which are usually terrifying. Let’s examine them one by one, beginning with apathy.

Apathy

This one is pretty much my Achilles heel.Over the course of my life I have realized that I have become quite skilled at emotionally distancing myself from things that matter especially if they are things that hurt. The way this manifests itself is in expressions such as:

“You know what I don’t care about this.”

” They will sort themselves out.”

“Let them do them and I’ll do me.”

Expressions such as these tend to be indicative of a person who is either consciously or unconsciously giving themselves reason to not emotionally care or not get involved in something.

Ignorance

Whereas there is the unconscious ignorance, where people genuinely DON’T KNOW that they don’t know, what I will talk about instead is selective ignorance. This is when people in one form or another CHOOSE to not know what they don’t know. This usually manifests itself in things like:

a) Always jumping to and accepting stereotypes.

b) Always blindly believing authority figures without questioning what they are saying.

c) Always skipping research in favour of information that is immediately available.

d) Chosing to get your understanding of a foreign place or people by the opinions of your fellow countrymen rather than engaging with the people and environment that is the foreign land.

Criticism

This one comes last because it is one of the most over-used ways that we use to avoid having to engage in the game of life. Like for example:

Why is it, that we are more accepting and sympathetic and loving to someone who is going through massive problems and wears their head down as a result as compared to a person who is ALWAYS endlessly positive?

Whenever someone is an infinite bundle of joy the type of reactions they typically get are:

“They are fake!”

“No one can be that happy ALL the time.”

Usually people are just waiting for such people to fall or drop their mood or get sad and melancholic so that they can say:

“You see, I knew it was all an act. No one can be that happy all the time. It’s not worth trying.Life is crap…….”

You Can Build a Life on These Three Pillars

Like I said before, you can really build a life on things that in the grand scheme of things does not matter. If you are snuggled tightly in a foreign country like I am you can move from:

Apathy: “If Africans are not willing to help themselves why should I? That place is not fit for human habitation and I am done with it, I don’t even want to think about it. It is not worth thinking about. Once they are willing to get their act together, then I might begin to think about them.”

to:

Ignorance: Getting all your news from the New York Times or publications written by middle and upper class men who have never known the reality of African poverty or the day to day mental and physical struggles that Africans go through.

to:

Criticism: You see, there they are on television killing each other again. They are like animals. Nothing like me and these good Westerners. They have respect for the rule of law, their buses and trains run on time etc etc

The Question Is: Is That How You Want to Live?

I have asked it before and I will ask it again. Is that the type of life you want to live? Do you want to live a life where you are constantly hiding behind more and more reasons not to engage in what you know is important in life? Do you want to live a life where you have more names and ways to describe fear than you do happiness, bravery and love?

Now this principle isn’t 100% applicable. There are people who are genuinely ignorant. There are people who are genuinely apathetic and there are people who have things that are worth criticizing, however look deep inside and ask yourself:

Is this apathy because I don’t care or I don’t know how I would handle the situation if I did care?

Do I choose to be ignorant because once I have taken that pill, my life will never be the same again, and not necessarily in a good way?

When I engage in criticizing celebrities (yeah that’s you) is it because they are genuinely tossers and pieces of !$%^&*()_+^&*( or is because if they exist and they have happy lives they force me to question, “Just what am I doing with my life?”

I am as Insecure if Not More Insecure Than Everyone Else

This post was written because my love illness taught me that I use apathy to hide from what matters. If something is too much for me to handle, I hide behind it or run away and do something else (Not in everything but in a couple of things). So if you are coming here expecting to be judged, you have the wrong post. If like me you are looking to be challenged, then answer the questions above honestly.

Take the pills of caring, really caring and engaging, really engaging in LIFE. Life that is happy, sad, painful, heartbreaking, ecstatic, orgasmic, melancholic and thousands of other states and emotions all wrapped into one. After all you only LIVE once. So live, don’t hide, live.

Before you leave, make sure you leave a comment below and let me know what you thought of the post.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi