The Displaced African » African people

Top 49 African Musicians

Mwangi — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 14:07:28 +0000

Image by none other than WhiteAfrican.com

Why Have I Created This Post?

NB: I wrote this post about 3-4 months ago, and it has been simmering in my archives for quite a while. Yesterday I realized, this probably wasn’t the type of post that should remain in the archives, ….so enjoy

Each week I try increasing traffic to my blog by attempting new means. Some time ago I realized that my blog and I have been blessed because our readers have promoted us by word-of-mouth. Media appearances on this blog are examples of our good fortune.

But How to Encourage and Advance Word-of-Mouth Promotion?

I believe that list articles are “cool” and that just about everyone from lands of the ebony-skinned appreciates and loves music.

So I decided to experiment with an article of such format and I hope that you, my esteemed readers, would be kind enough to spread the word among all your friends on Facebook or through email. However, do that ONLY IF you think that it is enjoyable, entertaining, informative and worth discussing and sharing.

And for that I thank you in advance.

1) Zangalewa

I have no idea what this Cameroonian marching band was talking about and neither do millions of people throughout Africa. That, however, did not stop us from absolutely loving and adoring them — a true testament to the fact that good music has no linguistic barriers.

The following words were a huge part of millions of African children’s lives,

“Zamina! Zamina! Zamina!
Tibeee!Zangalewa!”

2) Nameless
It all began when a man by the name of David Mathenge tried to compete in a Kenyan radio contest but could not think of a name for himself. So, to be named or to remain “Nameless” was the big question? Since then he had produced an endless stream of hits, one successful year after another and so on and on. You have to admit that an artist is gifted when blatant people such as Jamali have the audacity to steal his song and it still becomes a hit.

“Nameless” David Mathenge is also, in fact, a magnificent live performer.

3) Malaika

One of the most successful singing bands in African history is Malaika. They are world-class vocalists who continually take their Kwaito beat to the top of musical charts, and their legendary live performances wow audiences.

All the hype and eloquent accolades you have ever heard about Malaika are well deserved and then some. But do not merely take my word for it. Check out the track below and I challenge you to look me straight in the eye and tell me that they are not talented.

Check out their bios here.

4) Fela Kuti
All an entertainer ever really needs is one great gimmick to perpetually be cemented in the minds of his or her listeners.

Fela Kuti was born and raised and later made his fame and was tremendously revered in Nigeria. However, younger Africans outside of Nigeria will forever remember him as the man who took the expression, “Bang! Bang!” (no guns are involved here, by the way) and turned it into an international musical hit.

Fela Kuti, the Afrobeat legend, is one of the most influential musicians in history with eccentricity to match his fame.

5) Kanda Bongo Man
As one of many soukouss musicians on this list, Kanda Bongo Man has now fallen off the charts to make room for newer artists but he was definitely a multi-faceted icon in the past. To young Africans, this singing and dancing star from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) was what Michael Jackson is to the young in America. To women, Mr. “kwassa Kwassa” was a sex symbol.

Check out his Wikipedia page here.

6) Youssou N’Dour
He is one of the few African artists who has managed to transcend the beautiful sub-continent and become a true international superstar. If you are having a large global event and you want an African megastar, call on N’Dour.

The extent of his success is marked by topping the charts in the mecca of music, the United States, when he produced the track “7 Seconds” with Neneh Cherry.

Check out his official website.

7) Mr. Nice
The landscape of East African music can not be spoken of without mentioning the sweet, mellifluous Bongo flavored “dish.” With his native language being Kiswahili, Mr. Nice is a legend who rocked everyone in East Africa from Dar es Salam to Kampala.

This talented ex-gardener from Zanzibar is included in this article because he is one of the pioneers of the “Takeu style” that is so prevalent in Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda. His lyrics, such as “Kuku kapanda baiskeli” which literally means the hen climbed the bicycle, are misunderstood by listeners outside of Tanzania but they were, nevertheless, appreciated for their humor and entertainment factor.

8 ) Miriam Makeba
The grandmother of African music and quite possibly the most successful person on the list, Mrs. Makeba is famous for, among other things, being one of the musical voices against Apartheid. In addition, together with Harry Belafonted, she is credited for creating an international hit out of the Kiswahili song “Malaika” as well as her own billboard chart topper, “Pata Pata”.

Exceptfor Mobutu, she has the longest name I have ever seen. Check out her Wikipedia page here.

Below is, in my opinion, one of the greatest tracks Makeba had ever made.

9) Koffi Olomide

The DRC man with the velvety deep voice whom I will forever remember for teaching me an alternative use for handkerchiefs — pull them out and wave them from side to side as you slowly ride the lingala beat.

He has had an abundance of hits including “Andrada” and “Effrakata”, and is yet another legendary musician who solidified the reputation and popularity of soukous/rumba/lingala.

Since I do not speak his language, I can enjoy the music and the visual performance without being exposed to the content of his lyrics which are reputed to be quite vulgar.

10) 2face Idibia
This man made his reputation as one of sub-Sahara’s greats when he came out with the ode to African women entitled “African queen.” He has sold millions of albums in his home of Naija, topped charts throughout Africa and is one of the few artists to catch the eye of the Koras, Platinum success and MTV music awards, though of course the Kora meant the most .

Check out the remixed version of “African Queen.”

11) Angela Kidjo
This Benin songstress is another artist who far transcended the bounds of the African continent to become an international superstar. Her hits include “Agolo,” “Ayé,” and “Batonga.”

If you need an international African star to work with Joss Stone or open for Josh Groban, Angela may just be your answer.

Check out her Wikipedia page here.

12) Brenda Fassie

The late great Fassie is a legendary songstress who will be sorely missed not only in the shacks of South Africa but all over the world. This woman had a mesmerizing charisma that she brought to all her stage appearances. Her talent was only matched by her capriciousness and, at times, self-destructive behavior.

East and Central Africans will forever remember her for bridging the African gap by singing in Kiswahili in the track, “Nakupenda!”

13) Jua Cali
When in 2000 Jua Cali joined forces with a man named Clemo they did not just create a different sound, they created the Genge movement which defines a large segment of East African music. Although Genge lyrics fall far behind those of Shakespeare, their talents and ability to rock audiences all over the world are undeniable.

Jua Cali has been recognized by many awards committees widely spanning from Chaguo la Teeniez in Kenya to the MOBOs of London.

14) Magic System
Some recording artists have to build entire careers to be remembered as part of Africa’s soundtrack while others produce just one track that is so hot, that not only does everyone in Africa program it on their rewind selector to be listened to over and over again, but it is also recognized as an African classic around the globe.

Magic System managed to do just that with their song “Gauo” which has come to mean many things to many different people. In Kenya, for instance, this song is called “Taulo” which means towel.

15) Awilo Longomba
Awilo is another one of the bigger-than-life soukous artists who comes out of the DRC and sings lyrics which would probably not be sanctioned by my church leaders. In his videos, this artist has broken every fashion etiquette imaginable. But, having produced the hot tracks that Awilo had, redefining fashion is quite acceptable.

“Je ma pelle, comma tuta pelle.” Yes, my years of studying French were useless but you have to admit that you too learned some of it when Awilo released the track below.

16) STL

STL represents the type of artist who can only exist in this age of globalization because she has earned the admiration and love of the African community while living most of her life outside of Africa.

This young woman raps from Norway and embeds messages into her rhyming lyrics as is evident in her track “Makelele” which was released in the midst of the Kenyan election violence.

17) Oliver “Tuku” Mtukudzi
Until I landed in Australia I had never heard of Tuku. Once I did, it became clear that the man is a legend. A demi-deity in his land of Zimbabwe, Mtukudzi has had a long, prolific career as an artist, musician, social commentator and a political activist.

He has collaborated with younger African artists such as Eric Wainaina, and a ticket to one of his shows costs enough to feed an impoverished family for a long while.

Find more information on him at Tuku Music.

18) Kalamashaka

It is often said that “a man will never forget his first.” The people of East Africa will probably never forget these brothers who first came out of the ghettos of Kenya and brought to light a new form of art: Hip Hop in their national language Kiswahili. Every other Hip Hop artist who has since rapped in Kiswahili owes a debt to the pioneering of Kalamashaka who have done everything from recording in Sweden to working with international acts such as Dead Prez.

19) Papa Wemba
An absolute legend in the world of soukous, Papa is yet another musician who has transcended his art and became a phenomenon larger than any country or continent could contain. Papa Wemba will forever be special to me for his smooth, seductive and high pitched voice. Who would have ever thought that those three adjectives could go together when referring to a male vocalist?

He may have seen his share of hard times, but do not let that diminish your enjoyment and admiration for this great pioneer in the world of rumba.

20) Yvonne Chaka Chaka
This is yet another great South African artist who has been part of the soundtrack of millions of African youths.

Until I started researching this article, I hadn’t even realized that I had heard the song Umqombothi before. I am certain that many of you, outside of South Africa, will also recognize it although you may not know that it is Umqombothi that you are listening to. And, according to SABC3 , she is one of the greatest South Africans. Visit:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SABC3%27s_Great_South_Africans.

Check out her website which is appropriately called Princess of Africa. And, by the way, don’t you think she looks phenomenal in this picture?

21) African Americans

Africans have a real love-hate relationship with their cousins in the United States. You will rarely hear of Africans who traveled to the United States and came back with NO emotional reactions or even neutral ones toward their American brothaz and sistaz or niggaz and bitches, depending on who you talk to. They either absolutely love them or utterly despise them.

Furthermore, there is no denying that with the might of the American economy behind them, African Americans are probably the most powerful cultural force in human history — and not just in music and dance although their greatest prominence is undeniable in those areas. African Americans starting with the songs of slavery and the underground railroad and continuing on to the Negro spirituals, the Blues, the Jazz, the rock and roll all the way to the R&B and Hip Hop of today. Let us give credit where credit is due — our cousins are cultural champions.

22) Jose Chameleone
If you think that promoting the arts in primary and high schools is ridiculous, think again. And if you are still not convinced, Chameleone can very easily prove you wrong. Getting his own start in a school music competition, this Ugandan now sits at the peak of his success throughout East Africa. It all started at the turn of the millennium when he joined forces with Redsan (also on this list) to create the track Bageya.

One year later, he collaborated with the production powerhouse, Ogopa DJs, and recorded the mega Kiswahili hit, Mama Mia. Since then he has expanded and diversified to work with Swahili Nation, Bebe Cool and even moved further South and generated music for the Zimbambwan market.

23) Mandoza
Mduduzi Tshabalala was born in Soweto in 1978 and, according to an SABC poll, is ranked as the 77th greatest individual in South Africa.

His raspy voice has resulted in a multi-platinum status and a crossover appeal among white as well as black music lovers in South Africa. He has toured all over the world and even paid a visit to Australia.

24) E-sir:
He is quite possibly the most successful music artist that Kenya has ever spawned. E-sir is a native of the South C estate who distinguished himself from his fellow youth in Nairobi by taking command and acquiring fluency in Kiswahili, both on and off the mic.

He only released one album prior to his premature demise, but that album is an impressive collection of highly admired modern African music and had since become tremendously respected as well as commercially successful.

25) Lucky Dube
He is the greatest reggae musician to come out of Africa but was tragically gunned down in October of 2007. This artistic native of South Africa released deeply poignant and socioeconomically relevant music for more than 20 years.

Lucky Dude achieve something that only a truly great artist can — he gained respect and loving admiration of people from all over the world. Even American rapper Nas lamented his death when he addressed an extraordinarily diverse audience.

Check out his official site and below is a favorite of mine.

26) Sarafina
“Sarafina” started out as a stage show written by Mbongeni Ngema. The musical, which was based on the Soweto Uprisings of 1976, was eventually converted into a successful Hollywood movie of the same name.

Growing up, this movie made a huge impact on me as it did on many other youths. Countless children and adolescents around the world were heard singing “Freedom is coming tomorrow” in the early 1990s.

The Broadway show and the Hollywood movie made Leleti Khumalo a star.

Check out the Sarafina IMDB Page Here.

27) Watoto Children’s Choir

This group of young, impoverished youngsters from Uganda was assembled by Pastor’s Gary and Marilyn Skinner. Besides the entertainment factor, the Watoto Children’s Choir makes two significant statements:

1) A geopolitical statement and the relationship between Africa, its citizens, the Western world and foreign aide.

2) A simpler statement of fact that a group of young talented kids can sing and move adult audiences to tears.

28) Soweto Gospel Choir

I had the pleasure and good fortune to see this amazing troupe when they performed in Melbourne, Australia as part of their international tour. I had already displayed my groupie-love and expressed my admiration for the vocal talents of South Africans but my appreciation increased when I first saw the stage show, “Gumboots,” where the Gumboot dance was performed. To top it all off, the Soweto Gospel Choir heightened my demeanor to a state of utter awe. Today, I have no doubt that South African performers are head and shoulders above the rest of Africa.

Find their official website right here.

29) Akon

Why does he call himself the Polish Prince? Feel free to share your answer if you have one.

Akon is one of the few global superstars whose video, “Don’t Matter,” is the most watched videos in Youtube history (displayed below).

His life, his African heritage and roots, are completely out in the open and discussed often by many. I don’t think I need to go into too much detail about Akon — there is enough information about him out on the Internet: the good as well as the bad.

30) Daudi Kabaka
The sadly late Daudi Kabaka is one of the great foundations upon which East African music is built. We may at times forget to appreciate those who came before us but we really shouldn’t.

He was a Zilizopendwa a.k.a. a classic in every sense of the word.

31) Vusi Mahlasela
Sometimes there’s a need to talk while at other times there’s a need to just shut up and listen.

This guy is the soul music man! Shhhhhhh! Listen!

32) Hugh Masekela
Hugh is one of the patriarchs of South African music. Besides being a former husband of Miriam Makeba, he is also one of the creative forces behind Queen Makeba’s success. And all that is just an added bonus to his own absolutely amazing musical career.

I love when stories are told in music. Below, Hugh tells a story about the trains that took African workers away from their children to go work as peons in the apartheid system.

Get a drink, pull up a chair and enjoy both, the video and the audio.

33) Cheering squads, rioters and protestors

There would be no African music without mobs that either sang and chanted whenever the-powers-that-be acted up or chanted and sang during every sports event.

That is a simple fact and there is no need to further expound on it.

34) Redsan
I would call this ragga MC a Kenyan artist, but he’s been an Afropolitan star who’s been performing mainly outside Africa for so long that this would almost be a lie. He is one of the few artists who started at home, acquired international fame and is now signed up with a label in the granddaddy of music, the United States of America. Or maybe it is India? I intuitively suspect that India may have higher annual sales, but do any of you have more accurate inside information?

His most recent videos, of course, reflects his move to a much more “cash fluid” label.

35) The men who serenade their women

Where would we be without classic tracks like Malaika and African Queen? This reminds us, brothaz, that women can be quite silly and drive us nuts but that’s kinda why we like them. And let us never forgedt that we also like them for their physical beauty, their sexiness, their nurturing aptitude, their appreciation for aesthetics, their femininity and so on and on and on.

The song in the track below is sung by Miss Kidjo but it’s actually a Kiswahili song about a man who is singing to the woman he loves.

36) Nonini

Here is one more Kenyan artist who comes from the music powerhouse that is Calif Records. Though all indications seem to point to the fact that he is currently past his peak, he had probably reached the most magnificent heights in African music.

Bursting onto the music scene with “Manzi wa Nairobi,” Nonini and Jua Cali, a fellow Calif mate, are unashamedly crass as they discuss the day to day life of a young man in Nairobi. Thus, the original “bad boy” of Kenyan music with his ridiculous lyrics became an instant East African sex symbol and every parent’s worst nightmare.

We…we….we….we….kamu! Check out the track below and find his Myspace page here.

37) That kid in your school who can really sing
I don’t think any school in Africa missed out on having at least one kid who always spoke in music. These kids either always had a pen and paper ready for writing lyrics, perpetually walked with a certain rhythm in their steps or, best of all, endlessly regaled everyone with ditties or rap songs.

Jose Chameleone started doing exactly that. Below is the kid I went to school with and the one who always had his “rap rhyme” pen and paper handy and never failed to put them to good use.

38) South Africans

I don’t know if proximity to white people who keep beating you down is a natural performance enhancer, but I do know that South Africans are the best vocalists and musicians Africa has to offer. The South African contribution to the list before you include Malaika, Fassie, Makeba, Masekela and Chakachaka.

I invite you to witness this phenomenon yourself by listening to some music that was part of the anti-apartheid struggle or just pick up a gospel CD recorded by any South African vocalist.

Although the song below is actually about wanting to do very bad things to someone, it will surely make you want to “jam.”

39) Swahili Nation
These guys had to be included in my list because of the quality of their videos. They formed their band in Kenya and attained tremendous success around the turn of the century with the single “Hakuna Matata.”

They had been unable to replicate this massive success, but, from their very beginnings, they have always produced world-class videos and their talents have always been apparent.

40) The Women of Africa
If you have never heard a group of women sing together then you haven’t lived yet, my friend. The blending of their altos and sopranos into high pitched sounds that are still mellow, is an experience to behold.

The Kenyan national anthem is based on a Pokomo lullaby and most songs in their churches are customized to be delivered by God’s most beautiful creation — woman. In honor of women, I shall post the first image ever on the website dedicated to the Displaced African (tDA).

41) Soulfege

On the 14th and 15th of July 2008, I interviewed a member of these Afropolitan gems, D.N.A. aka Derrick Ashong. Rather than hearing about it from me, I am sure that you would much rather listen to the main man, Derrick, speak for himself.

Join their Facebook group here, and don’t forget to share this article with your friends while you’re there.

42) Lokua Kanza

From Wikipedia: Lokua Kanza (born April 1958) is a singer, songwriter and composer from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He is known for his soulful, folksy sound, which is atypical of the dance-floor friendly soukous music that is so common in the Congo.

Check out his official website here.

43) Conscious rappers

This article could not be complete without talking about socially conscious rappers who have had a huge impact on many African lives, including my own. I am referring to musicians like Tribe Called Quest and Dead Prez who consciously cultivated a relationship with Mother Africa and showed her all the love and respect that she deserves. Being a child of Africa’s soil, I am sending my love right back.

44) Bob Marley
Approach any African and try to convince him or her that Bob isn’t one of us. Come on, I dare you! Bob has always been and will continue to be in the hearts of Africans for a very long time.

I know that absolutely everyone reading this article has sat in a quite room in the company of good friends and sang, “No woman, no cry! I remember when we used to sit in a …”

45) Eric Wainaina
Eric Wainaina has achieved much that sets him apart as a great artist. First of all, he has been a globally revered musician for over a decade. Secondly, he created his own niche and style of music that is now being imitated all over Kenya and he has composed music for stage productions, for musical marathons and for other entertainment events.

He is one of the greats of African soul and jazz with true substance to his lyrics.

For more information visit his home online or just buy his albums on iTunes.

46) Afro-Latinos

Until I came to Australia, I didn’t even know that there are people of African descent living in Central and South America who established a history there. Among many other things, they also created my favorite martial arts in Brazil: Capoeira.

By the way, notice how much the song above sounds like soukkous. Don’t quote me on that, but I seem to vaguely remember reading that the two stem from the same source. Sounds like it might be true, don’t you agree?

47) Makoma

Let’s infuse some gospel into the mix. I first heard this DRC band during the World Cup Games in 2002. All you need to hear is the commanding opening of the track, Butu Na Moyi, to know that you are in for a true listening experience.

Seriously, there must be something in the drinking water south of the equator because this band has some ridiculously well controlled, emotionally fluid, take-you-high vocals.

48) Milele

I recently read an article in the Kenyan Jewels and was reminded that I used to be a fan of this Kenyan Gospel group based in the United States. This set me in a nostalgic mood and I also recalled having been a huge fan of yet another a capella band many years ago, Five Alive.

This one is for all the guys you ever listened to from your past until today, when Milele are rocking audiences as far away from home as Pasadena, California.

49) You tell me

I reserve this last slot for you. If you were moved in any way by this article, share it with your friends on Facebook and then come back to tell me which musical acts have been the soundtrack of your life. Which artists rocked your world?

7 Unique Things That Africa and Africans Have Taught Me

Mwangi — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:04:26 +0000

As a lot of you know, I was born and raised in Kenya. I have been to South Africa and all over Kenya. I have hung out with Zims, Tswanas, Ghanians, Naijas, Tanzanians, African Americans and other children of the soil from all over the place. What have I learned from all of this?

1) Keeping It Real:

By keeping it real, I don’t neccesarily mean honesty, because any African will tell you that Africa has it’s fair share of liars. Instead, I am talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Yesterday I was in a social gathering here in Oz (Australia for the uninitiated): When I got home, I realized how subtle our interactions were. Sure on the surface level, it may have seemed quite simple and easy, but there was so much sub-text: when to talk, who to talk to, when to move on, when you lost someone in the conversation, when you gained someone else, who had the power, who didn’t, who is attracted to you, who did you just turn off and so on and so forth.

And none of this was really ever discussed in the open or brought to the surface and its something that a lot of folks can really miss unless they have interacted with people from Oz for a while.

I cannot tell you how much grief I have seen because of completely misunderstanding the sub-text or underlying rules of an interaction or not setting the rules early on.

Sure in Africa there is still sub-text but people are much more open about how they feel and much more expressive in the way they speak. Most of all they speak sub-text that I understand. Considering I learned a lesson something as important as this in the school of hard knocks and not in a classroom you quickly realize:

2) Education Isn’t What it Promised to Be:

There are many articles out there that constantly remind members of the African diaspora that we are some of the best educated folks around.

As far as I am concerned, the fact that you have a degree means diddly squat. Don’t get me wrong, I bow to your intellect for being intelligent and hard working enough to go through more than a decade of school and end up in an outstanding course in an outstanding University. I salute and have a deep respect for you after enduring the rigours of the unstructured University life and coming out strong, Lord knows I dropped off on the side. BUT all this love and respect, is aimed AT YOU, not your degrees.

Anyone who was around Kenyans around the post-election violence of last year quickly realized that a University degree (and even chronological age) isn’t a guarantee of maturity, or wisdom, or restraint, or love, or compassion or even intelligence really. So all this stuff we were sold as kids that education is the be all and end all to making us well rounded people of substance: Not so! And by the way the same thing applies for:

3) Hard Work:

Africans are hands down some of the hardest working people around. I come from a family where one half of the two person team that made me was the best woman in the country when her high school results came out. I have watched both my folks slug it out for 8+ hour days 6 days a week, starting business after business after business. And here’s the thing: that work ethic is pretty much standard procedure in Africa.

I was genuinely shocked when I arrived in Oz and realized there were things like minimum wage and maximum daily working hours.

When most folks here complain about being worked to the ground from 8 hours of work, 5 days a week, I can’t help but think: isn’t the idea of stress relative?

The Australian workload would be kinda like a vacation for a standard African worker. That’s part of the reason that I don’t write much about the need for hard work: a lot of Africans intrinsically know this and live it. Sadly that’s partly because:

4) Africans are Unashamedly Materialistic:

A lot of people in the West are materialistic. A lot of Jones out here want the fancy house, big car, a lot of money, pretty girls/boys etc etc. However many people out West are taught, and even believe that,

“Money isn’t everything. There are things more important than money.”

Not the African. Many Africans would sell their soul at discount prices to get money. There is nothing more important than money to a lot of Africans and material possesions not only define you, they are the cornerstone of who you are. One of the reasons I created the Stuff African people like series was to poke fun at a seriously high level of materialism that we as African folks have at the expense of other things.

Don’t believe we are materialistic: pay a visit to the homes of African politicians and welathy businessmen and tell me they don’t easily trump 90% of homes in Europe: I mean I was certainly disappointed by the houses here when I first showed up. It’s pretty interesting though how there is so much similarity right now between the homes of Melbourne and where I grew up in Nairobi. In truth:

5) Westernization is Powerful:

If anyone ever wants to start a think tank that talks about the power of Westernization and how to keep that sucker on a leesh and under control, I am behind them 100%.

We are on the road to being one huge homogenous global society, controlled from Washington, speaking English and liking and doing the same things from Auckland to California.

For me to say that I never spoke anything other than English regularly before I came to Australia is a travesty when one considers that just over 40 years ago I would be living an entirely different life with an entirely different set of beliefs and values.

We are not in control of Westernization and it is hitting Africa like a tidal wave, the good sides (human rights, respect for women and people from other cultures, shared commonalities with people from all over the world) and bad ( relationships breakdown, drug habits, lethal eating habits, confusion and lack of purpose, manufacturing of a majority of humanity living in poverty, linear models of insatiable consumption etc etc etc).

I am not saying that Westernization is good or bad, I am a result of it. I am saying, we need to control it and not be a slave to it. As Westernized as we Africans arel, I was quite surprised to discover that most Africans are:

6) Africans are Socially Conservative:

It’s been said many times and it will be said many times in future: white people are crazy. I love it! A lot of white people are unashamedly out there and willing to try out things that would make the average African absolutely squirm.

Whether its experimenting with things like religion or relationships or business or even endangering their lives in pursuit of something that to many looks like a pipe dream fantasy that will never come true, people from the West do it.

Africans tread with care and wait for a path to be beaten before jumping into it. We hold on to whatever societal rules have been passed down to us and are rarely willing to question for fear of failure and alienation.

White people go beat the path naked with a carrot in one hand and an idea in the other.

But I Digress

Just as a side note, don’t you find it interesting that out of the whole African blogosphere, there are only like maybe 10 or less of us who actually use our real names and/or have pictures AND almost all of us who do aren’t in Africa. I know there is a point to be made there somewhere, I just don’t know what it is.

7) Some People are Just Mean:

The old adage that good will always prevail over evil is a lie. Many brutal, callous people have existed and gone about their narcissistic work all life long going from success to success. Just look at African dictators. Some of these fellows will do evil all life long and will die not having experienced any more stress than the normal man who does good. Good doesn’t always prevail over evil. It only prevails when people who believe in it fight for it day after day after day.

So there, off the top of my head are 7 things that growing up in Nairobi and being around a lot of Africans from all over the world has taught me in my life.

If you want to hear more about my experiences and insights, make sure you subscribe to this site via RSS or email to receive regular updates.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Stuff African People Like: Expensive Cars

Mwangi — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:02:56 +0000

I remember once meeting a man who had immigrated over from Zimbabwe and been around for a couple of years. This man was working a minimum wage to support his University education but let me assure you, that man had a PHD in Vehicular Science

Car Specifications

The man could spit out the name, rank, serial number, engine size, horsepower and shoe size of every vehicle that cost more than ten thousand dollars. Whether it was explaining why Lambogini was so superior to other brands or Mercedes was just a run of the mill car, it didn’t matter: as we sat in that Mazda 121, we were participating in a true car connoisseur session.

Sex Makes A Difference

The love for cars is different amongst male and female children of the soil. Men love to read car magazines and understand the beauty, the symmetry, the proportions, the pieces, the systems, the history and the mechanics behind the vehicle.

It doesn’t matter if he is part of the Walking Elite or has a barely getting by contraption that needs a screwdriver in the cigarette lighter to start, he will stop by any street corner pick up the latest edition of Cars Magazine and for a few minutes escape into a land where there is a beautiful car on one side and a gorgeous, voluptuous woman on the other.

Women on the other hand don’t know or care about what’s under the hood. All they care about is four things: how the car looks, how much it costs, how it’ll make her feel and how it’ll look to people whose opinions matter.

If a car ticks all four of the above boxes, a woman doesn’t care if the engine is made of titanium and assembled by Swiss engineers of Chinese descent: you had her at $70,000+

What to Do?

This one is quite simple:

1) If the African doesn’t have the car, “that they KNOW they deserve yet,”, then indulge them in their fantasies and continually remind them that one sweet day it’ll happen for them.

2) If they have the car already then just like the degrees, don’t forget to oohh and aaahhhh with delight that can only be compared to the cries of post-apocalyptic angels.

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Happy to be back and looking forward to starting the newest series soon,

Mwangi

What Did You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Mwangi — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:04:06 +0000

The Difference That Geography Makes: Part One

I remember sitting in a high school class somewhere in Kenya, some moment in time. There were about 80 of us. Our mission was simple: say what we wanted to be when we grew up. As we neared student number 30, one would have thought we were listening listening to a song that had the same beat repeated over and over and over again:

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

These were some of the most brilliant minds in the country (well, we were only the best in my first year there but we were always in the top 10..er….er…so the 10th most brilliant minds)

Finally it was my time to shine! I put the biggest grin I could on my face and said with pride:

Music producer.

“Idiot,”, must have been my nickname for quite a while afterwards.

Different Geography, Same People: Part two

I used to have a running script that I used to repeat over and over again whenever I met a new college student from the continent. I would think to myself:

“So, are you going to school to work in business, law, finance or to eventually work for some NGO?”

Whenever I met someone who did not fit into those categories, I would get very confused. Surely, there can only be one person who exists outside of the bell curve?

Then I would get very intimidated? You’re taking my spot.

Then I would fall in love? You’re abnormal like I am.

Seriously though, it’s remarkable how now many years later, the career paths that Africans chose can actually be recited by heart and described with such clarity:

A professional who has to wear some uniform or a suit of some sort. He/She wants to be relatively high up in the hierarchy but don’t want to be the ones who did all the grunt work to build it up. He wants a fancy job title with a fantastic salary that gives him a big house, a big car and the respect and love of his community as a “boss man/boss lady!” or ” they just want to make that paper paper paper paper”

Different Geography, Different People: Part Three

I didn’t even know some careers existed or were worth pursuing until I came down under.

“I want to be a sparky! (electrician)”

“I want to open my own brothel ! The licence costs half a mil but its still worth a go!”

“I want to make movies”

“I want to be a zookeeper”

“I want to be a park ranger”

“I want to be a drummer”

“I want to be a comic book penciler”

“I want to be a professional poker player”

The weirdest one of all, post high school, a HUGE chunk of Australians decide either before or during semester one of University that they want to:

“Take some time off, go backpacking and discover me!”

Now granted, discover me usually means go and have sex, drugs and rock and roll with a lot of foreign strangers but that concept of a “gap year” is blasphemy in Africa even among wealthy and middle class families.

What Does That Say About Us and About Them?

I think at the end of the day it says that human beings are smart creatures. We adapt to whatever circumstances and whatever roll of the dice God or this life gives us.

In Africa, most people can’t afford to take a gap year because they have no safety nets, or rather welfare nets, to support them in those years.

In the West folks can afford to go round the world sipping from goon bags and swapping spit with locals only to come back and open a costume shop because those who came before him fought for him to have those rights.

Today’s Lesson

The only thing I implore you is don’t assume that other people’s rules are your own. The limitations that you have in occupation aren’t necessarily the same ones your father had or your sister has or your best friend has. Get to know you, what your passionate about, what you can do well and where you can have the biggest impact. Go there. Please don’t be a robot. We already have enough of those.

I end by asking:

So what do you want to be when you grow up? Why?

Are you becoming who you wanted to be when you grew up?

What does that say about you?

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Be blessed and bless other people all around ya,

Mwangi

7 Pieces of the Puzzle that Africa Has

Mwangi — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:29:26 +0000

As you will probably notice I am currently in the process of creating my email newsletter. It is going to be the latest permanent addition to this little blog so any advice on how to make my email newsletter better is very appreciated….oh and of course join it . To today’s program:

Greetings, salutations and hello. Today’s article is a special treat for me and hopefully for you. It is yet another post that pretty much evolved over the course of a day as opposed to a preplanned article, which is always very very cool.

So a few months ago I was visiting this elderly couple in Country Victoria. In their home, which is absolutely gorgeous for a 100 year old house, they had this puzzle: The puzzle was a mix between a rubix cube and a jigsaw puzzle. You get a cube that is open on one end, a bunch of haphazardly shaped wooden pieces and you are basically meant to fit all those pieces perfectly into the box.

As our brains sweat through the task, someone suggested that I should write a blog post about the puzzle. I thought to myself:

” I own the Displaced African domain, so why not?!”

Today I thought I would share with you 7 elements that I believe that Africa has that are far from being used to their maximum effect. These are 7 elements that we can use to take Africa from the gutter that we currently are in, all the way to the stars and beyond. Without further ado, they are:

1) Pain and Suffering

We have had a recent history filled with nothing but tragedy after tragedy. But we do not use tragedy to move our country forward. When Kenya was bombed in 1998, the reaction of our country was far different to that of the States. The US has mourned, established memorials, investigated 9/11 to the littlest detail, had all media talking about 9/11 and it’s implications, made movies, wrote books, got think tanks working overtime, used it as justification to go protect their interests overseas etc etc etc

They basically did everything imaginable to not only ensure it never happens again, but they emerge stronger as a result. Pain and suffering a lot of the time can be the greatest motivation to get to work and make the world a better place. In Africa we have more than enough to motivate us. Sadly a lot of the time we direct it at each other instead of at solving the root cause of the problem as is the case in South Africa at the moment.

2) Cultural Richness

I have spoken about this many many many times but we really should have had a discussion as a society, post colonialism about how we’d handle some of the important parts of the human experience including the only thing that comes guaranteed with life: death.

In my humble opinion, the way some African cultures handled death was grossly superior to the Western ways we inherited of handling death. The Ashanti didn’t mourn death but viewed it as an inevitable part of life. The Luo people keep the corpse in the dead person’s home and hire professional wailers and mourners to ensure that all the grieving that needs to be done is done as soon as possible. During this time, any debts or scores of the deceased that need to be settled are settled as everyone in the community is given a chance to come and speak to the family members. And then to ensure that, if its a man, his wife and children are taken care of, a member of the family takes the wife and children into his home.

To me, there are a lot of things in those two approaches that strike me as a very healthy way of viewing death. We had a lot of customs and traditions from 1000s of tribes in Africa that were clearly working for a certain period of time…foolish is the man who doesn’t learn or even bother examining his past.

3) Work Ethic

It doesn’t matter where you go or who you speak to, nine times out of 10, Africans are praised for our ability to work and work very hard. That’s why you almost never hear of African people who immigrate overseas and end up poor, destitute and/or homeless. Caught up in the rat race? perhaps. Living beyond their means? perhaps. But Africans tend to work themselves like work horses regardless.

Sure we have our fair share of lazy folk, but we have enough hard workers that it counts.

4) Natural Resources

Say what you will, but Africa is the richest natural resource on Earth. The Scramble for Africa took place because the colonial barbarians kept drooling at just how resource rich our continent was. Needless to say, Africa is currently being exploited and stripped and robbed at an exponential pace. BUT, we still have enough natural resources that it counts.

5) Educated People

Africa is one of those odd places on Earth where you will find people with Masters degrees walking the streets daily in search of work. As I have shared in the past, we love us some degrees and advanced degrees and it’s knocked into our heads from a very young age that no one goes to success but by Bachelor.

This has resulted in about two or three generations of extremely well trained, academically intelligent people of colour. If we could put all the African brains all over the world into a brain trust, it would probably be the wealthiest brain trust around.

6) Young People

Young people can have two things that make them the most powerful forces known to man:

a) A sense of infinite possibility and a belief that we can bring them to life.

b) No sense of shame.

A lot of people look at point b) as though it’s a negative. I think it’s ridiculously powerful. Sometimes when I get in the train and look at Sudanese teenagers who are acting a fool I think to myself:

These people genuinely don’t care what people think about them. They will act however they want without any fear whatsoever of its social consequences. Can you imagine if they put this lack of inhibition and thick skins to constructive use?

It’s no secret that to cause massive changes or bring something new to society you need a thick skin. As Tony Robbins once said, when a new idea comes into society,

First it’s ridiculed and chastised. Then it’s violently opposed. And then it’s accepted as truth that was dismissed by crazy people.

Take points a) and b) above, mix them together and you see why so many of the great movements had young people in them.

7) People in the Diaspora

I think I have discussed this one and will continue to discuss if for a very long time and so I see no need to go over it because while reading some of the above points, I know you have seen some of the ways, we in the diaspora can be a powerful force for good.

So what we will do with this power, is entirely up to us, but make no mistake about it, the power is there.

There you have it, seven things that I believe that Africa has going for it.

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Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Stuff African People Like: Being Fashionable

Mwangi — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 17:04:52 +0000

Fashionistas are not the brightest people on Earth. Don’t they realize how much of their business comes from Nairobi, Jo’burg and Lagos alone. If they did, they would probably fly over the sub-Saharan continent on the way to Milan to show love to people who clearly love them.

It’s not simply clothing for us. It accomplishes the same things that money, degrees and money do: they make one African feel better than the other. And ultimately this is powerful to the African person.

If someone’s neighbour decides that Louis Vitton is the way to go. Watch out because soon she will not only have Louis Vitton hairbands but also Jimmy Choo shoes and Prada braces.

If it gets to the point where every inch of someone’s body is clearly adorned with show off pieces of Western branding then one can always revert to the default of “Africa themed attire” and accuse their competitor of pandering to Westernization while you are “keeping it real”. As long as my clothes are better than yours

It is remarkable how in spite of so many variations of “fashionable” there are within the fashion continent, some things remain so remarkably consistent. Therefore should you want to know whether an African is a fashionable one or not, look out for the following:

a) The shoes must match the belt (this one is set in stone and is Commandment number 11)

b) The hair must be as unnatural as possible. Simply combing it and not leaving it to grow wild is a great start. The more synthetic the process the better (The first person to read about the disciples having tongues of fire burning their head must have thought they were reading the story of an African at the saloon).

c) Every man and woman must have a work suit, after all how else can they get advanced degrees, climb up the corporate ladder and make bucket-loads of money to put bird’s nests on their head if they don’t have it.

d) Wearing natural hair ALL the time is the choice of only the misguided.

Remember, if the clothes or the hair cost some money, you insult or mock them at your own peril. Keep the above tips in mind and you should be fine.

To stay wrapped in the fabric of the African experience, make sure you return here for the next installment of Stuff African People Like via either your inbox or your feed reader.

Stuff African People Like: Employment

Mwangi — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:03:35 +0000

Before we get into the festivities for the day, let me say a public congratulations to the founders of Ushahidi for winning Net Square and please stop by White African and express your love and support.

Africans collectively are probably the best educated group of middle managers the world over. We love employment.Entrepreneurship is for these crazy Westerners. Employment is OUR natural habitat.

When we are born, we all want to work in some big corporate office and wear a very expensive suit and just enough cologne so that everyone can whiff the money as you walk on by. We are taught to expect the long days in meetings, the powerpoint presentations and the water-cooler-oops-this-is-Africa-where-it-doesn’t-work-so-let’s-say-the-

tea-room-where-you-boil-some-tap-water-with-some-fantastic-tea-leaves while you complain about the pain in the Gluteus that your boss is being.

Right next to this love of employment is a hatred and fear of entrepreneurship. Africans don’t like risk and taking chances. We don’t care if the top 50 billionaires are predominantly business owners who created new niches and sub-niches in the marketplace, we reason the 500 poorest folk were probably trying to do the exact same thing. We hate the fact that entrepreneurship means responsibility, especially when we fail…boy do we loathe and dread failure.

And so the typical African likes to stay in their cushy office and make fun of anyone who might try something as crazy as entrepreneurship. The key to this one is quite simple:
Marvel at whatever job title the African may present to you and always keep in mind the story of someone who started some really stupid business that ended up failing. This will amuse the African and remind them why they do the 9 to 5 thing in the first place.

To understand the habits and likes of the African person, make sure you stay up to date via RSS or email: The blog is updated daily.

Stuff African People Like: Their Solutions to Africa’s Problems

Mwangi — Tue, 27 May 2008 17:04:13 +0000

There is no gathering of African people anywhere around the world that doesn’t include the customary discussion of just what is wrong with Africa and how to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong though, it is far from a democratic discussion. The philosophy that gets the most airtime in the imaginations of the listeners is that of the loudest most dominant person. Sad to say, the expression that “empty vessels make the most noise” isn’t just a coffee mug logo: a lot of the time it’s true.

Sometimes however one is surprised by the quiet person in the group who proposes something like,

” We should take all the members of the (insert group they don’t like living in the country) and kick them out or use them for genetic testing.”

A key component of these bar room/church crusade/casual gathering strategy and philosophy sessions is no action must come out of them. For you see if the African knew they had to act on everything they said, they would feel a lot less free to share.

Therefore should you ever engage in these conversations with members of the continent be sure to:

a) Marvel at the brilliance of the most popular opinion. There is no need for you to give any form of input: By now it should be clear that the African is simply content seeming smarter than you. So make sure you acknowledge them as you would Einstein if you were there when he created the theory of relativity.

b) Whenever they discuss the African problems be sure to leer and express disgust at whatever outside force the speaker claims are responsible for Africa’s woes-other ethnic group, white man, politicians, women,men etc etc. Honestly you cannot go wrong with, “Satan is a liar,“, thrown into the mix every so often.

c) NEVER EVER EVER EVER propose or even think about putting any of these ideas into action. If you begin thinking or acting in that direction, Africans will quickly kick you out of their gathering: after all the African is talking to you to feel all smart and powerful, not to act or be held accountable: that’s just too much work and time taken away from making money, rising through the ranks and garnering degrees.

To explore the mind of the African a little deeper make sure you return here every day or stay updated by RSS or email to stay in touch.

Stuff African People Like: Money

Mwangi — Sun, 25 May 2008 16:50:15 +0000

Whereas other groups of people may take pride in proclaiming that, “they are beyond money” or “money is not the cause of my happiness”, that bug is yet to hit the African continent. Africans have an unrestrained love of money and equate it’s pursuit and attainment with happiness.

That is the reason why African mothers choose the University paths for their children the moment you come out of the womb: That path will lead to a great career as a pilot/lawyer/doctor/businessman/insert wealthy professional here. It’s just being smart: if the child ends up rich, then they will be able to brag to all their friends while they see out their retirement years in style.

Africans unashamedly look down upon manual and blue collar professions which tend to be the fort of the African poor and throw confetti and roll out red carpets anytime they are in the presence of wealth.

The key to how to handle this situation depends on at what stage of the socio-economic ladder the African is at:

a) If they’re poor or up and comers, empathize with them and the struggles they have to go through just to “hustle and make that paper, when the world keeps trying to bring them down.” At this stage it’s usually OK for you to pay for everything as the African will probably have a few holes in his pocket through which all their money escaped.

b) If they have any form of wealth, be sure to be the number one fan of all their displays of material wealth (refer to the article on Degrees for more guidance). Their plasma TV, their overpriced car, their expensive-but-Dear-sweetness-is-that-a-bird-nest-on-their-head hairdo amongst other things.

In addition to that, don’t discuss new age ideas like, “money isn’t the root of all happiness,” or “you don’t need money to live well,” to Africans. They will begin to get concerned about the state of your mental health.

There is much more to be said about the African relationship with money, but that is for another day and another edition of Stuff African People Like.

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Stuff African People Like: Meat

Mwangi — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:04:10 +0000

Whereas Westerners now have to be convinced to even touch red meat, Africa would need the propaganda of the Nazi empire doubled over to convince them to leave their precious cows, goats and chickens for even a week.

Africans love meat. Always have! By the looks of things, always will. In almost all African communities, since centuries gone by, the slaughter and consumption of animals is always a special event in and of itself. Africans even have a hierarchy on how special the day of slaughter is and it goes a little something like this:

The bigger and fatter the animal and the redder their meat, the more special the occasion.

That means that to slaughter a chicken is basically an indirect way of insulting a man; slaughter a baby chick and you are declaring war. On the other end of the spectrum, slaughter your fattest cow and it is clear to your invited guests that you mean business and your house is one to be returned to.

For those misguided souls who for a variety of reasons chose to go without meat, such as yours truly, we are met with looks that can only be described as:

bewilderment-mixed-with-a-feeling-of-being-bamboozled-and-

inability-to-understand-such-an-alien-concept.

For you see, a diet consisting of fruits and vegetables has always been an indication of either poverty or getting by. If you can afford many cows AND you have so many that you can slaughter some on a regular basis and you are the King Mswati of your constituency. You should know by now how much Africans love to keep with the Jones. And never forget dowry was paid in cows, not wheatgrass.

The key to this one is simple. Don’t EVER bring up your veganism or vegetarianism unless asked. This will cause the African to look down on you with such pity and aching in their heart that they will immediately work to “bring you back to the light” in the same way a Jehovah’s Witness would.

In addition to that, never ever blame any health problems on meat. By now you should have learned of a great Scape goat (me likes that pun) in the statement, “It’s the work of Satan !” Use that liberally.

Finally, the African has built entire societies and communities around meat. Learn how to cook meat right like only the African can.

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