When I watched this episode of Friends, I thought, “Yup! That captures what a lot of African people feel about charity!”

The Cast

Africa and Africans will be represented by Joey, Rachel and Phoebe

The West and its charitable shall be represented by Ross, Monica and Chandler

Wish I Could Embed It But Sadly I Can’t

Take note of the group dynamics and let me know what you think:

http://www.sidereel.com/Friends_(1994)/_watchlinkviewer/14893

No joke! You want the formula, here it is:

A Happy Life is:

Pleasant emotions (Think about that great feeling you have after great food, an awesome movies, theme parks and sex)

+

A life filled with moments of flow ( When you engage fully in what you are good at. Time and space stand still as you are one with what you are putting out into the world. Check out this interview where its briefly discussed)

+

A meaningful life (taking your unique gifts and applying them towards the achievement of something greater than yourself

A Very Important Idea to Remember

I have a running hypothesis in my head that as human beings we are naturally wired to hold on to, experience and be guided by what makes us feel pain as opposed to what makes us feel pleasure.

What I mean by this is that, we appear to more naturally remember, want to converse about, and have our actions guided by the one time an employee screwed us over as opposed to the Saturday we went out and watched a great movie.

I have a Discovery Channel derived idea on why that is but that isn’t the point of today’s discussion.

Here’s The Thing

The skills that are neccesary to eliminate negativity and negative emotions ARE NOT the same skills that make us happy.

Let me say that one more time:

The skills that we use to make us stop feeling like crap ARE NOT the same ones that will make us feel happy to be alive.

So, if you are buying into the belief that:

I will be happy when I get rid of this person/this job/retire/this weight etc etc etc you might be right, but chances are, science and literature have repeatedly shown, you are probably holding on to a fool’s gold.

Ladies and Gentlemen

In case you did not watch the video please set aside just a little bit of time today and learn how to be happy for the rest of your life:

Have a day just brimming with positive emotions where you love what you do so much that the time-space continuum does not exist and you truly are bigger than your body,

Mwangi

Who knew that cartoons could be so deep? Tell me this cartoon doesn’t get you thinking and wanting to discuss propaganda?!

Today I received the physical copy of my first ever newspaper article. It was from the folks at African Bulletin who featured my press release this month and will feature a few of my articles over the coming months.

So I thought I would celebrate that with y’all, say thanks to African Bulletin and to you, tDA’s reader.

Who woulda thought I would have ended up with my own feature in a newspaper and my own show on the radio in such a short time.

If I was to derive a lesson from this then I guess it would be, whatever you want to do, put yourself out there hard because you never know what results you will achieve until you put yourself out there and take action.

Direct Marketing

I love studying direct marketers like Dan Kennedy and Jay Abraham and of course, Tim Ferriss & Yaro Starak. One of the key ideas I have gotten out of the industry is:

Test assumptions!

Whenever you want to establish whether or not something will achieve particular results, conduct a micro-test and the test will give you much more real world knowledge than hours of abtraction ever would.

Here I am 9 months later and me and my tiny little blog actually have a brand name and a reputation which can probably be translated into something else.

So now, I can honestly say to other people, the greatest use of a blog is to establish a brand, preeminence and mindshare in a particular niche.

Why? Because I have lived it.

I can actually say that putting useful information out there on a blog is a great way to get featured in the media.

Why? Because I know other bloggers who have achieved way more media than I have and I have had a bit media success too.

So in short, I will repeat a message that I have expressed over and over and will continue to express over and over because I believe in it so much:

Let’s not think about it or read about it, let’s BE about it.

Hope that helps and yet again thanks for supporting the Displaced African (tDA).

Have one of those days that will be studied in the history books,

Mwangi

Today is all about answering questions from my namesake, Tony, who runs one of the biggest websites in Naija according to Alexa, Naija Ecash. I also answer the most interesting question I have received so far, from Mo Ma. These answers definitely don’t show me in the best light, but you asked and so I answer…..

If You Have any Questions You Would Like Me to Answer

Then please read this post, where I talked about this little question and answer session.

Tony asks:

Which is your favorite website?

My Answer:

This really depends on what I am after. I learn best by watching videos and so you can find me on Google Videos looking for videos on all sorts of topics all the time though I am currently obsessed with finding Timothy Ferriss and Jay Abraham videos. Some sites I can’t mention here

Considering my freelance work as a blogging consultant and freelance writer and all the projects I have to get done, I spend huge amounts of time on Rentacoder.

I also spend a lot of time on:

a) The Blog Mastermind website and forums.

b) Yaro Starak’s latest posts on blogging.

c) Searching for podcasts on Itunes.

d) Reading stories by a man called Jon who I met a while back.

e) Leaving comments on gal africana’s and Kelly’s blog.

f) Searching for information by Jay Abraham and Timothy Ferriss and so on and so on and so on.

Tony asks:

Which is your favorite movie?

My Answer:

I actually did a post on this some time ago on 7 Movie Classics. Add to that list:

a) Get Smart – Steve Carell is pure comedy, pure comedy, no one else can make fun of himself so well with such a serious face.

b) Pretty Woman – Go fig, I am simply drawn to this storyline.

c) Short films by Roy Ston Tan : I got a chance to catch this guy at the Melbourne International Film Festival two years ago and adored his work.

d) Great Happiness Space: Tales of an Osaka Love Thief: Any movies that explain succesful relationships or relationship tips that can help men, I like. There is a lot to be learned from this movie about “hosting clubs” in Tokyo.

e) La Vie En Rose: Not this movie specifically but movies like it that take me back in time and draw me into a world separate from my own. That having been said, La Vie En Rose was pretty powerful…….

Tony Asks:

Where are you going to spend eternity?

My Answer:

If there is indeed a hell, I think the way I live is a clear indication that I am going there. As I go, I will be thankful for all the blessings I received while alive, but I think if we are to peruse the good book on all the verses that discuss how to get into the “Book of Life” I am clearly not on that guest list.

I find it hard to believe in an eternal hell, I must say. A temporary hell, yes. But a permanent hell, when there is a God who is pure love and made us in His own image……this might be outside of my own understanding but the concept of hell just doesn’t add up. Here’s to hopping that John was just a raging schitzophrenic.

Mo Ma Asks:

What is an incubus and how exactly does the state of Woody Allen’s over-easy omelet threaten world peace as far as the Solomon Islands and Elephant Seals are concerned?

My Answer:

I continue answering your questions. Today, it’s all about Kelly. So shall we begin:

kelly asks:

When do you plan to come back to kenya?
What will you come back to do, like specifically?

My Answer:

For the last 5 years, any time I was asked that question, my answer was always an unequivocal yes. I would return as soon as I was able to support myself materially to either:

a) Work on deep social change at the grassroots level or;

b) Make a positive contribution to people’s lives at the grassroots level.

Whereas one would think that starting this blog would have given me even more motivation to stick to that mission, it’s actually had the positive effect. Allow me to explain:

There is So Much to Learn

I LOVE LEARNING! If you want to bribe me, buy me tickets to a Jay Abraham seminar or Anthony Robbins seminar or tell me about the equivalent of the Alfred Deakin lectures and I will be there. Over the course of this blog, I have come to see so much that I want to learn about so many areas, relationships, health, business, music and even grassroots acitivism. Now contrast that with the fact that:

We are a Very Negative People

I hope that since you are a reader of this my most personal work, I can be very honest with you, as I always am. We, African people, to a large extent are a bunch of whiners and crybabies and if not very negative people who like to hide behind any form of material or intellectual success we have.

Now, as I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with all that I can learn in this world, I have reflected more and more and more on how much negativity I would have to put up with working back home. BUT I did make a committment to myself that I would do it and it is of course the noble thing.

So my answer is Yes, I do intend on going home eventually. Where I am currently confused is how and to do what but its definitely to work on improving the state of the country.

Some of the Ideas I Have Had

Long time readers of this blog would probably know about my plans to work in media, I dreamed for the longest time of owning African media and using it to put out positve messages. I have also thought about:

a) Buying my own constituency, as one would a business, optimizing it and then using it and presenting as a model for how to develop.

b) Going back home as a speaker to young people who are about to immigrate

c) Give talks on controlling sexuality and sublimation so as to eliminate rape as a social ill in our society.

d) Start up a church for young African men.

With many other ideas mixed in there. At the moment I am just focussing on optimizing this blog and trying to get to the point where I can support myself online. The ideas are there, not only to go back home, I’ll decide once I achieve my goal of supporting myself what to do next.

kelly asks:

You seem to like marriage a lot, at what age do you envision you will be married?

My Answer:

When I am sure I will be a good partner and husband. In short the most important part of this is how exactly I will ensure that I won’t cheat on my wife and will have the mental strength to see my commitment through. I have a number of ideas as to how to deal with this, and I intend on investigating this a lot over the coming years, but I have no date set yet.

Something Sad I Realized

Again, I speak to you as I would among friends. I like a lot of people, male or female, I lust after many women but I am mentally drawn to very few. You know that stereotype of someone who turns you on mentally……doesn’t happen to me. Now it could be that I hang around the wrong folks or I have very weird standards but either way…..just something weird I realized this week that I also must deal with.

kelly asks:

When you say men don’t feel love like women do, what exactly do you mean?

My Answer:

I must put a caveat on this and say that I definitely need to investigate this area much much deeper. Me thinks the best person to give advice in this area that I know is Julia, after all, she does this for a living.

Usually when I say that, usually half-jokingly, I am referring to the fact that I have known or heard of very few men who need romance or any complex gestures from their partners to be happy, though those would be nice.

A lot of the people I know and have heard of, as long as the woman is happy, they are fed, they have respect as a man and the sex life is good and the man is fine. No need for mink coats or dinners or weird get aways and cruises, all those are for the woman: food+sex+peace+respect= Marital bliss but as I said, Julia is the best person to talk about this one.

kelly asks:

What would make a man stay in a relationship that’s no good for him, when it’s so easy for guys to walk away?

My Answer:

There is a theory that all human behaviour is motivated by two things, a pleasurable or desired feeling/emotion or the need to get away from a negative feeling/state/emotion.

Now if we view life through that lens, then there appear many reasons that someone would stay in the situation that you have just described. I will list a few below:

Positve

1) They made a commitment and want to see it through.

2) They view any temporary moments of discomfort as a part of the game.

3) They have a solid friendship with their partner.

4) They need their partner for some emotional reason or another and their partner needs them.

5) For the children.

6) For harmony

7) The security of the institution

Negative

1) They don’t want to be alone.

2) They don’t want to stop being cooked for, picked up after and taken care of.

3) They don’t want to lose access to sex

4) They don’t want to lose their peer group

5) They don’t want to lose their trophy partner

6) They don’t want to feel rejected

7) The process of leaving would be too uncomfortable.

In short, I don’t know, the reasons are many. It depends on the person, what they are getting out of the relationship and what they are scared they will lose if they leave the relationship. Yet again, let me recommend, Julia…..she has a Masters in it too

The Newsletter

If you are a fan of this article or blog, I encourage you to join and give me feedback ( ) on my Immigrant Survivor Guide Newsletter by putting your first name and email address in the boxes below.

In newsletter, once a week I send you short emails that give you actionable tips that you can immediately apply to make your immigrant experience better including tips on making friends, finding employment, how to stay healthy on the run, things to prepare before you immigrate, staying in touch with people from your home country etc etc.

So please join, and give me feedback, by putting your first name and email in the boxes below:

Have a great day or night,
Mwangi

Benin Mwangi from the Cheetah Index asked:

I had a technical question for you.  I am going to be doing a podcast next week and wanted to ask you if you know of any simple ways to create a jingle…Otherwise, I hope all is well.  Keep up the good work!

My Answer:

Hey Benin. I will walk you through how I got the sound clips for the opening section of the Displaced African podcast and give you some additional ideas about where and how to get theme music for your upcoming podcast

1) I got the opening sound clip from a website known as Sound Rangers: You go there, choose a track, pay $20 and you own the copyright to that track forever. I then downloaded the free open sources sound editing software Audacity and combined the two to create the opening and closing section of every podcast.

Any other questions. Do not hesitate to ask.

Nakeel whose from the blog Nakeel asks:

1. Does Mwangi like Children or do children like Mwangi?
2. Whats the best thing that you have ever done in your life.
3. Given an opportunity to share a meal in your house with five guests who will they be?

My Answers:

1) Children are kinda like their adult counterparts, there are some who absolutely love me and some who find me as likeable as salt in cordial/juice (which btw, not good). So it really does depend on the child.

2) Hmmm, since I am writing on this blog, I can easily make the case that this is the best thing I have ever done for so many reasons:

a) First time I have committed myself to doing something day after day after day for so long.

b) I have built up a name and brand for myself at a very young age.

c) I have committed to something in spite of the taunting and discouragement.

d) I’ve met some cool cats, have been and will continue to be on the radio.

e) I have learnt a lot of things in a lot of areas including how to start a business in Melbourne Australia, how to start an online business, how immigrants think, positive projects like Ushahidi, met Kirk Nugent and Derrick Ashong.

Just for the Sake of Contrast

On the other side of the moral spectrum, the best thing I did was the first time I took a trip to Sydney. I was broke, had no plans but I got my cousin and his girlfriend in a car and we drove to Sydney where we spent the weekend partying. I loved it because it was a truly, spontaneous, uninhibited decision and the fact that I was in “the flow” and spontaneous the whole trip.

The first time I ever got on stage and acted.

There’s a few of them………

3) The reason I have chosen these folk is not only because of my love for them, but also because of how difficult it would be for me to actually meet with them.

Anthony Robbins: This guy is a true Renaissance man. His level of understanding of how to work within and manipulate the human psychology and achieve peak state on a continuous basis among many many many other things……YES, please, I want to learn that. He is also the best speaker I have ever seen with my own 2 eyes – he not only held my attention but had me for 8 hours a day for 2 days straight……I love his speaking ability.

ii) Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson: This guy is the best performer I have ever seen perform in front of a crowd. I have never seen anyone who has such command and control of an audience. I would love to know how he does that and copy that. Don’t believe me, tell me you have ever seen better crowd control than this

Also in that list, I would love to meet Erwin Mcmanus and Barrack Obama for their speaking ability.

iii) Whoever controls the world economy: There is probably someone or some organization somewhere in the States that pretty much “holds everything together” and is in control of the world economy, I would love to meet the head of it. If its a loose knit group of organizations that work together to hold the American Century together, I would love to meet the heads of this company. I want to move in this world with full understanding of how it runs.

iv) Jay Abraham: I want to become a marketing consultant like he does. His ability to see “money connections” where other people don’t is just simply amazing. Again, I would love to pick his brain and do what he does.

v) Jesus Christ and the Guy In charge of putting together the Bible: I know for sure we are not being told the entire truth about the man called Jesus from Nazareth. I would love to know what the reality was and what realities were shall we say…..”not included” in the official text.

v) JabbaWockeez: I am a mediocre-at-best dancer, I want to learn to move like these guys move.

vi) Malcolm X: I love and respect this man so much.

Other people I would love to meet: Timothy Ferriss, Yaro Starak, Julius Nyerere, Kwame Nkrumah, the president of Botswana.

Update on 13th August 2008: After watching a few videos of his interviews on Youtube, I MUST add to the list: Will Smith

Hello Folks,

Following on from my request yesterday that you ask me questions, here we are on Day 1 of my answers to your questions. If you have any more questions or things to say, leave me a comment below or email me at masmilele(at)thedisplacedafrican(dot)com

Btw, a lot of the post isn’t spellchecked

Thomas Johnson asks:

Here’s a question – In your opinion, what is the best thing we can do to help prevent poverty in the world?

I know it’s a complex issue but I’m keen to hear your thoughts on the matter.  I might put your answer on my website if thats ok.

My Answer:

Before I give my answer let me give my caveats:
1) I am far from an expert.
2) This answer is a mixture of intuition, reflection, all the various schools of thought that I have been exposed to over the course of my life as well as facts and figures (which have never been my strongest area)
3) I am just gonna vent it out uncensored

Alright, what is the best thing we can do to help prevent poverty in the world?

If I was to give a technical answer to your question, i.e. how can you and I best help prevent future poverty in the world, my answer would be:

Cyclical Culture of Consumption

If you haven’t watched it, please go and watch the Story of Stuff . In it, one of the key ideas is that the West, in particular America, post World War 2 has had policies which pretty much accelerate a linear, non-stop type of consumption. Not only that, but there is something which I believe is called planned obsolescence.

When these two things merge it results in people who strip the Earth, consume its resources, put nothing back into the source of life and then quickly run to consume the next thing.

In addition to that, I did a semester of Sustainability at college and one of the great ideas I got from that is that, in order for the whole world to live like the West does we would need 3 planets to accomodate all the linear consumption, I have since heard estimates of 5 and 7.

Don’t Know Why This Part Popped into My Head…..

We need to focus on renourishing the Earth and repairing the damage done. Far from being just something to do because it feels good, or is the right thing to do, or any airy fairy justifications, the way we are consuming is resulting in global warming which is resulting in polar ice caps melting which results in some islands being flooded, resulting in environmental refugees….where are they gonna go?

If we slow down our consumption, this prevents any more people having to live in poverty or losing their homes just so we can have the latest model fashion accessory without putting anything back into its source

The Above is a Terrible Answer, But its the First Thing that Came to My Head, Take 2

The best thing we can do is support people who are working towards a few things:
1) All the organizations standing up to the World Trade Organization to demand that trade be fair and that a world that claims to be capitalist actually lives by one of the cornerstone capitalist principles, free trade. Not free trade with subsidy and tarrif caveats.
2) All the poor people like the shack dwellers of South Africa who are fighting just for dignity and land.
3) Organizations like the World Social Forum where the poor get together to exchange ideas, recipes and map out the future.

We can also try to affect policy within Western countries and get rid of subsidies and tarrifs. Aid is a sick pathetic joke. Tell me the day that a compound interest loan, the humiliation of having people of another country be in charge of your destiny and shove their way of life and ideas down your throat is charity and I will show you the day that a shower curtain is the perfect fashion accesory for any season.

I think the key is to remember that its always been the opressed who have gotten themselves out of their mess. Let’s help them out once they get started, get out of their way when they don’t need us and try to stop people from gettting in their way.

Finally, as a species we need to raise our consciousness to a place where we can actually co-exist with each other, without always trying to dominate and control one another on the one hand and with all of us taking responsibility for the individual and collective good i.e. loving ourselves and loving our neighbour just as much and not only knowing that intellectually but making decisions daily that are guided by that principle.

If we don’t, then we’ll just continue the cycle of empires rising and falling, rising and falling, rising and falling as opposed to all our boats rising together. For the first time, almost every one in the world can watch the same thing at the same time via the Internet, TV, satellites, mobile phones etc etc, if they can’t watch it they’re probably close to someone who can. Maybe we can somehow take over these avenues and use them to raise the global consiousness otherwise it’ll just end up being:

Greece-Egypt-Rome-Britain-America-X

Also a terrible answer but it’ll do. As I said, not my forte, but I hope this served.

tracyjones asks:

I’ve read about feedburner not working and yet you use it, there are whole sites devoted to telling me it is a load of rubbish.  How come it works for some and not others?

My Answer:

For those who don’t know what Feedburner is, check out this page explaining what it is, check out the Feedburner site or subscribe to the blog via RSS to see it in action (the subtly of that plug has to be seen to be believed doesn’t it )

I can only speak from my experience as I have never conducted in depth investigation into Feedburner. Personally I have never ever heard people complain about Feedburner’s ability to get the job done and in fact I have heard it recommended quite a few times BUT Feedburner definitely has a problem as far as consistency is concerned.

There are many times during the course of the week that I won’t have access to my subscriber numbers and what was once a subscriber number turns into a 0. However, in terms of showing me raw traffic numbers, with the exception of the time when I was transferring and changing themes over, which is understandable,Feedburner has been great as far as showing me how many people have visited my site over the last few hours and days.

Personally I recommend that if you people are going to ask people subscribe to your blog via email or RSS then you use Feedburner. If you want an email newsletter, Aweber.

Hope this helps. Any other questions, do not hesitate to ask.

Hey,

For the next few days I thought I would try something a little different.

What’s that Mwangi?

You can ask me any questions whatsoever and I will attempt to answer. At the moment I won’t put any rules or restrictions on what you can ask and I’ll see how we go with that.

This is a Multimedia Site

When writing the question, make sure you specify whether you want your answer in:

a) Writing

b) Audio

c) Video

How to Ask the Question

Leave a comment below or email me at masmilele(at)thedisplacedafrican(dot)com with your questions and I will answer them as best as I can.

What to Do with the Rest of the Day/Night

Have a phenomenal day or night,

Mwangi

Before I Get to the Main Attraction

1) For some reason, the sidebar of the website isn’t working as it should, i.e. on the homepage, it isn’t there, it drops all the way to the bottom of the article. I am aware of the problem and am on it and thanks for patience dealing with that.

2) I am going to be interviewed on Capital FM next week and for any of you who are fans of SARFMRADIO in New York, they called me and asked for an interview too, so look out for me on that too. Yay! Too too blessed.

Back to the Script

As I spoke about a few days ago, the Displaced African (tDA) was talked about on one of the largest radio station’s in Kenya, Capital FM, during their show, Urban Nites. Thanks to everyone who showed much love and to those of you who asked for a recording here it is:

The Displaced African on Urban Nites

There are some areas where there is brief silence and brief music, that’s just to give the track some breathing room before the talking starts, once you press play there is no need to forward for the entire duration of the track.

Some Thoughts

The folks at Capital did me a huge service not only because they put me on the air, but because they:

a) Made the website sound much bigger than even I thought it was, which now gives me super morale to keep moving and growing to expand and beat these expectations.

b) They gave me a lot of ideas for articles that need to be written.

c) They reminded me what this blog is all about, which I sometimes forget.

To stay a part of the tDA as it continues to grow, make sure you stay up to date via either free email or RSS updates. To learn just what RSS is, click here.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwas