Interesting post you have here on Happiness. I would just like to add some thoughts on this.

One of the reasons why we never experience Happiness is due to the belief that we are Perfect. When one believes that they are perfect, they never seek out what will make them happy since they assume they are already happy. This belief in perfection is based on what is called Narcissism. There are many types of Narcissism out there i.e. belief that one is like God and needs no improvement. Narcissistic beliefs are based on paranoia, superiority feelings and belief in ones inherent perfection. In general, that one is better than other people. This belief could actually just be a cover up for feelings of cowardice or inferiority.

You have to remember that we all have ‘real’ identities. By this I mean that we have identities that were given to us by God based on what we came here to do on this earth. One of our jobs is discovering what these identities are. In the old days it was simple, we simply entered the family business and continued on with the work of our ancestors. Today, some idiot came up with the idea that anybody can be what they wish to be. Anybody they say can be Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Obama or even Bush. That’s not true. We are all born to pursue certain arenas and not just any. That’s why people had stuff like astrology in the old days. It helped people find out exactly what they should do based on their family legacy.

Lakini today, people have no identities really. The old family legacies have been destroyed and instead, we have been given new identities based on nation, continent/history (true or false) and city/school. It is these new identities that have caused havoc in our lives leading to great unhappiness. They all involve a sense of perfection in them.

The nation identity makes people have a sense of inferiority is some way. You have to realize that the nation identity is related to the women of ones country. You find that many men compare their nations to others to see if they are better or not. Why is this? Because of their women. In just about every country which has the British system of rule, the women look down on their men. The men then seek to make themselves feel better by looking down on other men of other nations. Basically, a power trip. People on a power trip are always unhappy especially when someone they view as being inferior does better than them. This is mostly via comparing other men based on physical looks. Can you imagine that? Men today compare each other based on physical looks to see who is superior or inferior to them. Yaani watu wamekuwa mashoga ki-plani. In reality, it should be the other way round. Men should compare themselves based on their women. If you have a good girlfriend who is intelligent and beautiful, you can floss her around to others. This is because issues of country and women are highly interrelated. The way people think of their own country is based on the way they think of their women. You therefore find ‘Kenyans’ who hate Kenya really hate Kenyan women.

Then you have the continental/historical identity that is based on perfection based on morality issues. People look at their history and see if they have done anything wrong. They then compare themselves to others out there to see if they are better people than others. Nothing wrong with that, after all, its one of the criteria used when you want to marry someone. Look into their family history to see if they have thieves, mogorokis etc. in the family tree. If they do, you toroka. However today, this identity is used to prevent us from being religious. A belief that by comparing ourselves to others and coming out better, that we are perfect human beings morally and do not have to do anything to improve ourselves. Yet in reality, it is God who decided if we are perfect all not and hence the need for religion in ones life. Today, this identity for someone like you is the African identity. The belief that to ‘endelea’, you have to exploit somebody. But as an African, one views themselves only as an exploited person and then believe that you are morally better than others since historically, Africans have not exploited others. It is this sense of moral perfection that prevents Africans from developing themselves due to the belief that to develop means exploiting others. Realize that there are many ways of becoming developed but the British way does involve exploiting others. They call it Capitalism. There are other development ideologies out there and Africa has some of the best if you bother to look. Read up anything by a Ghanaian scholar known as George Ayittey to see what I mean.

Then you have the city/school identity which makes us have a sense of perfection based on personality. We compare ourselves to people from different cities and then conclude that Nairobi guys are the most stylistic, fashionable, ladies men etc. This even goes deeper by comparing ourselves based on the schools we attended where we assume that if someone went to Strathmore or Alliance, they are chops while those from other schools are not. This also is about university issues. You therefore find that if someone went to Harvard or Stanford, they see themselves as being superior to others especially intellectually and they do not bother improving themselves. Its why if you look around, you will find that later on in life, the people who succeeded the most are not those who went to these top schools. Sometimes it is even those who never went to school at all. Going to these schools makes some people believe they are perfect especially intelligently and they never bother to improve themselves. Hence they never achieve anything greater than their academic qualifications. In reality, this should be all about personal development. Most people fail to realize that becoming successful is about developing ones personality and not about ‘achieving’ success by planning. Meaning this, if you wish to become something great, look at the personality involved in becoming that great person and then adopt that personality. If you wish to become a great businessman, you want to adopt a hustler personality. Instead of planning what you are going to accomplish by putting dates to goals etc., simply develop the hustler personality. Think like a hustler, walk like a hustler, talk like a hustler, dress like a hustler na kadhalika. When you do, you automatically become a great businessman.

Having said all that, realize that of course there are two main fears we have with respect to identity issues. The fear of struggling and the fear of ridicule. These two fears are basically programmed into the identities we choose meaning that all identities have these two fears. You cannot escape them. Every identity has these two fears. The reason being that it is our identities that determine our achievements, accomplishments and successes on this earth. They also determine the advancement of civilization. Meaning this, when you attempt to do something and do not succeed, it disturbs you and you desire to try again. The issues of disturbance have to do with the two fears I mentioned and leads to the advancement of civilization.

Now, there is something else to mention. That which pertains to work and issues of perfection. The main way which we deal with issues of perfection is via work. We desire inherently to be perfect in the work we do. We therefore must apply ourselves to it with all our efforts. Lakini today we see a different storo. The first being that people who actually work are seen as being bozos. It is believed that it is actually stupid to work hard to achieve success since everybody is always looking for a shortcut to success. Things like the 4-hour week are all about seeking shortcuts to success. Even if one did succeed, one would not achieve happiness and satisfaction. Its like getting easy mdinyo. Never satisfies one, just leaves one even with a bitter taste to their mouths. It is via work that we achieve our greatest happiness. Making money honestly and through hardwork. In the western world though, you find that success is achieved through shortcuts mainly i.e. being lucky and winning the jackpot, knowing someone with the right connections or basically turning to stealing, robbing etc. That’s how 90% of people n the western world succeed. The other 10% do it via hardwork lakini you never hear of them because they don’t bling bling. After all, if they do, they will simply attract thieves and robbers and golddiggers.

Also note that work requires us to deal with our perfection issues. Meaning this, our false identities require us to see ourselves as being perfect. In work, we have to face our limitations and see ourselves as being imperfect. Many people therefore fear chasing their dreams and goals due to this fear of seeing themselves as being imperfect. Seeing oneself as being imperfect means that one should be abused and ridiculed and one should take it because they are imperfect and apparently everybody else is perfect. Not only that, it makes them feel angry, shameful and guilty. States/feelings that most people work overtime to avoid.

When you view yourself as being perfect, you automatically develop anger. You become angry without knowing why. Obviously, this is not your anger but Gods anger. Only he says who is perfect or not. You therefore find that people who seek perfection in themselves are always angry. When one is angry, one automatically develops the following negative states i.e. frustration, depression and confusion. As a result, such people fear trying anything because when one is in the above states i.e. basically angry, one cannot think clearly and winds up doing irrational things. Therefore, if one is angry always, one can be said to be always irrational and therefore lacking intelligence. Another reason why people who view themselves as being perfect fear trying anything. They believe they may expose themselves for not being the perfect intelligent beings they view themselves as being. They therefore prefer to daydream about how they sill succeed one day rather than try.

Realize that our identities automatically make us not only angry, but also shameful and filled with guilt. The African identity teaches you that you are a primitive being who does nothing for society. Add to that, it tells you that you survive only with the help of white people. It therefore fills you with shame and guilt at the same time. Automatically you develop the fear of struggling and ridicule. Fear of struggling because when you feel guilty or shamed, you find it hard to be motivated about anything. “Maisha ni ngumu’ is what such people say. They find even the act of waking up difficult in itself. They therefore never attempt to do anything because of the confusion, frustration and anger/depression they feel. Some do attempt to succed but they always fail because the system is set up against them. You will find a few ‘succesful’ blacks someweher up there but they have just been put for show to fool the others that the system is really fair. And as I said before, when you try and fail at something, you are driven to try again due to the shameful feelings one has. The thing with shame, anger and guilt is that they never go until ‘avenges’ them. Therefore if you failed once, you try again hoping to succeed. If you do not, you try again. That’s how civilization moves forward. Lakini, if you are an African in the Western world, even if you try, you will always fail due to the system being against you. However, because you do not know this, you keep on trying but never succeeding. This just makes one angry and they keep on trying and that’s why many Africans never leave the west when they get there. They get stuck in a trial of trying and failing. They do not want to leave because they believe if they do, they are failures. Others will ridicule them. They just don’t realize that the system is against them. They think it is totally fair and equality is a reality in the west. Yet, not even close. The west is the most unfair, discriminatory and unequal place in the world. As an African, you can succeed just about everywhere than in the west. Just knowing that the system is totally discriminatory is enough for one to just give up and move on to other things.

So, the thing is that you have to let go of these identities that are messing you up. Let go off them. You have to create new identities especially those that don’t need women too much. That’s why I was telling you to choose the hustler identity.

Realize something else, a human is a programmable being. Ever heard the saying “rubbish in, rubbish out”? That’s a human. You can program it with just about any identity. The best identities are those that match our genetic history. Meaning that if your ancestors were warriors or traders, it’s best to following their line of work. That’s where you will achieve most success and happiness. You have to adapt the old identities and make them new. If your ancestors were warriors, enter the security business in any for, From private detective to army personnel. You look as if your ancestors were involved in the trades. Trades of all sorts. Therefore, you can seek opportunity in any of the gazillion trades that exist. That’s what a hustler is all about, being a jack of all trades.

In short, you have to debrainwash yourself from these identities that have been programmed into you. The first way is to switch off the TV. It creates your African identity for you. It basically ridicules you and makes you believe that for an African, life is about struggling. The next is to avoid crazy women. Meaning you have to avoid most communal things kabisa. Stay away from Kenyan women, they will mess you up and hate to see you succeed. They are all trying to get a msungu to marry them while they go around screaming Kenyan pride. They are pretty much hopeless. The third is to avoid men who are into the yuppie culture. They are the worst since they spend their times hating on each other and are always angry 24/7 thinking about sex. Should you succeed, they will attempt to destroy your success.

Realize there is a difference between Msungu who creates the African identity for you, black women who create the Kenyan identity for you and black men and the Nairobian identity. The Msungu will destroy you. He fears that others will see that you have succeeded which will result in them/msungu facing competition. Meaning he may try to kill you unless he is the one that made you successful in the first place under affirmative action or something like that. That’s why when they hear about a successful African, they wonder if he was educated in their universities. They like to claim all African success as their own. Realize though that not all Msungus are like this. Despite what you have heard, the best msungus are in North America, although you do find the ‘discriminatory’ ones who are recent immigrants. Msungus in Europe are mostly stupid and behave kind of dumb. The black woman will attempt to steal your success. I can tell you that all stealing, robbery etc. in the western world has a woman behind it. They don’t work hawa ngamia, all they do is steal or basically live off credit. The black man will attempt to destroy your success. Meaning if you set up a company, they will try and burn it down. Realize this, that these fears are very real in the western world. If you succeed, the above three could very well happen to you especially if people know your biz. That’s why people who make it in the West suffer from anxiety. The fear of success is one of the main reasons why people never succeed. For you, just being in the West is seen as success by some who could attempt to get you deported. Hence the anxiety you may feel without knowing why.

The way to stop this is to get out of that world. Meaning this, you can live in that country but not be part of the ‘western world’ which is a media centric world. By switching off the TV, you have begun the change process. Second, you have to change your identities. Realize this as I said above, the human body is very much like a computer. Garbage in = garbage out. It’s that simple. A man who listens to Jazz thinks differently from one who listens to Hip hop. It’s that simple. You are a programmable being who is always being programmed by your environment. The media, the women, the men and even environment you are in. For instance living in a physical environment with tigers in it, will lead you to behave in a manner different from living in an environment with bunnies in it. The women you know will shape how you see yourself. The men you know will shape how others see you. Your religion will shape how God sees you. Today, your religion is the media which shapes the way you believe God sees you i.e. as an African.

Realize that its women who mostly put into you a fear of being ridiculed. They will try to mess you up in everything you do. Men put into you mainly a fear of struggling. If you do not know the cool guys, you will not get a good job etc. The media puts into you both fears.

All in all I am saying, get the hell out of that environment. You may believe that it is cowardly to run away from that environment. Many men have that fear. That if they avoid that environment, they were not man enough to make it. Realize as I said though, the system works against you and you will never really make it. By that I mean you will never succeed by how they define success i.e. money, fame, celebrity, lots of sex etc. In reality, realize that people who live in that environment are not mentally stable. Wote ni wagoroki to some extent. They don’t act like civilized human beings. Get new identities and move on to new success. The reason why most people never escape that world is because they do not know how to survive outside that world. They somewhat become retarded by living in that world. Meaning that they lack natural intelligence. If you look at that world, you will see that people are always being told what to do. Always being controlled by someone. Put such people in a world where they have to depend on themselves and they are kabisa lost. So, it is true that one cannot easily leave that world without new identities. So, as a help, here are some books you may wish to read on succeeding outside that world.

1. Religious identity: The person we really are. Tupa African identity mbali mbali sana. I had said that you should choose the Kikuyu identity. Ama, read into traditional forms of Protestantism. It is protestant work ethic that built America. However, learning about Kikuyu religion is difficult so I would suggest you read up on Calvinism. It is the form of Protestantism most closest to Kikuyu religion.

2. Intrapersonal identity: This is the way you see yourself. Instead of letting women judge you, become a hustler. That’s how you should see yourself. Read up on books by Robert Greene, the author of the ‘art of seduction’. Try finding similar books by other authors. Also read up on Mau Mau history.

3. Interpersonal identity: This is the way others see you. Instead of letting others judge you by your buddies, let others see you as a Swahili or Jazz musician. Read up on Jazz, listen to it, copy their dress modes etc. As I said, if you do, people will view you as being intelligent even if you are not. Yet again, doing so will make you intelligent since Jazz is a very intellectual artform.

4. Somatic being: This is your physical identity. It should match your physical environment. Meaning that there is no use of dressing up in a suit if you live in the forests. As I said before, here you want to be a Makanga due to the fact that you live in western cities. Of course, realize that the Makanga identity is the one you use when dealing with people whom you do not really know. For instance when walking down the streets. If you happen to meet someone you know, you become a jazzman. Yet again, being a Makanga is like adopting the personality of a Rastafarian. Something tells me you like reggae.

Mix the above 4 with what I had written on self-confidence, self-esteem etc. How you do that is part of being imaginative and has to do with developing a unique personality. Realize doing this will make you attractive to the women in the western world. See how many of them like dues with rastas on them? They seek out men like that for having fun and intimacy which means you can easily manipulate them as you wish. Not only that, adopt the above changes and you automatically become happy.

Realize that should you make the above changes, people will see you as being a sell out. You know how people hate sell outs. Funny thing is that it is seen today that escaping the above three false identities I.e. national etc. is a form of selling out. Ati that’s whom you really are. Hence the importance of the Makanga personality. It can easily fool people into believing that you are still legit meaning it will lead them to believe that you are still Kenyan but have dropped out of the race to “succeed”. In reality you have your own private biasharas going on.

Switch off the TV kijana and start living.

Mathematics and Science have to do with seeking physical truth (deductions, observations of nature-which by the way, any physicist will tell you you can never truly be certain about anything, but that is beside the point, etc)

But i guess what everyone is really interested in (even that TED Talk, which i did not listen to i guess, from the summary you provided ) is ultimately the ultimate truth: is there a God?, why i am alive, i am even conscious?, why do i do to be happy? Is hat all there is to it, why is there no peace on earth? etc.

Now, my premise, is that that sort of truth is revealed truth ( and one must therefore presuppose a bigger being beyond the searcher doing the revelation. Who is that being? We could go on and on and in circles about this, as philosophers do ) , BUT

I believe that the ultimate truth is a person, one Jesus Christ ( I can not prove it to you, no Christian can prove it to you, it is not provable, it is a faith thing, the same way i can not prove to you that i love a certain Judith, say ). I believe, that in being born again, one gets that truth, and all (99%) of the world’s puzzles fit together.

Children and Faith
-True, children generally trust the grown ups, and especially parents, and trust that they cannot lie and therefore believe their word (until of course that trust is broken). Same way: We are to be like children, believe that the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob can not lie, and therefore we take His word and believe all He says.

That brings us to: Does He exists? You answer that for yourself. If He exists, is he the only God? Again, you decide. And, supposing He is the only God, do you believe He is a good Father who can not lie? That is also a personal matter for your own discovery and decision. Or, say you believe all that, but then another question pops up: is the Bible, as is, His word? Did someone tamper with it? Only you can answer that question for yourself.

Anyway, Mwangi, it is again plain that we never see eye to eye on this faith thing. As for the Happiness thing, any reasonable observant person will tell you happiness is a fleeting thing and a life dedicated to its pursuit is bound to lead to great misery and disappointment, for it is a chasing after the wind.

Herein i rest. Adios Amigos

Knowing God, as in being born again is not something to be learned through study. You generally cannot study enough and then say ” i have studied enough, i am born again”. Rather, it is suddenly having a spiritual light-bulb go on and you saying “Gee, i believe what the Bible claims about Christ and sin, and i am today accepting that i am a sinner and that Christ’s death was for the forgiveness of my sins. Christ, forgive me. I will henceforth listen to you as pertains to how i should live my life.

Now, question as much as you want, and there is nothing wrong, the problem is, if you dwell so much on questioning and philosophizing on what the Bible says etc, there is always a tendency to disbelieve. Rarely do those who follow this path get enlightened and find the Truth. ( I know we have grown up and been taught to question everything, especially if you are science oriented in your thinking) but somehow it rarely works in the Christian domain. Think about it: if the only way to come to Christ was through this method of studying and questioning and debating and philosophizing, then the uneducated people who have no such disposition and methodologies would never be able to come to the “truth”. But God leveled the playing field, and made it a mater of belief, so that any soul can know the Truth( ie Christ). You no doubt have read “Unless you become like little children, you can not inherit the kingdom of God”. Now, you know that children hardly have the mental capability to engage in philosophies, etc. But, they are humble, easily believe and take things by “faith”. Do you see what i mean?

So, are you predisposed to seek the truth. If your search is a genuine humble search for meaning in life, then bu all means continue, you shall on day be born again. But if you search is based on pride ( e.g. i could do better than these born again ) or the way the Bible explains being born again is too simple for me, there must be a better way, then i am afraid you will miss it.

(b) “Christ never promised Christians happiness. Joy yes.” and on your asking “What is the difference between joy and happiness please explain? ”
See my post here for explanation: http://kenya.fm/?p=48

(d) “If you do not believe it, then, why do you waste time discussing issues dealing with it.”

meaning, if you do not believe the Bible as is (i know there are many variations etc, which complicates the matter), why spend time raising discussions on it. Just as i claim in (a), such tone of biblical discussions hardly lead to the truth.

Consider this: if you wanted to know what Shakespeare really meant by what he wrote, what is the best way to discover that? Ask him, of course. So, what is the best way to understand what the Bible means? Ask the Bible’s author, of course.

The author of the Bible is the Holy Spirit. So, ask the Holy Spirit. But where will you find the Holy Spirit? You could make a trip to heaven. Impossible. Or, you coudl ask Him and He will come speak to you ( live in you. He is a spirit, he has to live somewhere, you know ). But for Him to come to you, you must first be born again. But for you to be born again, you must believe, by faith, by faith, by faith that “God so loved Mwangi that He gave His only son Jesus Christ to die for Mwangi, that if Mwangi believes in Him, Mwangi will be born again and have eternal life”.

See? It always goes back to the belief thing. Belief, my friend, not understanding or great reasoning or philosophizing. That is always the starting point. Belief, by Faith. The verse does not say “if Mwangi discovers the truth, he shall be born again and have peace in life”. The being born again is the first step in knowing the truth. Not the other way round.

What am i saying? That you can never truly understand the Bible unless you are born again!

I know this may surprise you and maybe even anger some of my Christian brothers. (That is why i had sometimes back tried to discouraged you from leading a Bible study. )

To address your first point, I will put it in a statement that a preacher from India once made, “The Church of Jesus Christ is the only club on Earth that exists for the benefit of non-members”

Lest we forget Christ’s commission just before he left, it was to spread the world and make sure people receive it and so part of the Christian journey is dealing with people such as myself and naysayers and people who doubt and people who question, its part and parcel of it, I might not know much about the faith, but I think you and I both know that this comes with taking up the cross.

I don’t remember Christ ever saying that we should not question. Indeed he did say he was the truth but, on this I might be wrong, tell me where Jesus said he is the truth and as such we shouldn’t question and we should blindly accept. I’ve read the Bible quite extensively and I don’t remember that but again I might be wrong.

What is the difference between joy and happiness please explain? I would like to understand where you’re coming from with your definitions.

I agree that not everyone who says they are born again acts as though they are. In fact in my experience a huge proportion of people who say they are born again do not follow the principles of Christianity – they hate, they gossip, they lie etc etc etc – and some even do so unapologetically using all sorts of justifications so on that I agree.

That last question is a very very very odd question as per my understanding of Christianity. Again going back to the first statement, Christianity has never been based on individuals believing they themselves to the best of their ability within their vacuum, its always been about reaching out, loving and embracing everyone else.
That’s why when Christ would convert a city would move on to the next city, to convert the next city. Again, I don’t know much, but this I do know about the Church of the carpenter from Nazareth, its never ever been about the individual its always been about loving one’s neighbours and loving God.

The reason I “waste my time” is because I love the Church and I love its members, sure I might be an agnostic, but I love the Church and its members and they are a part of my soul and a man can’t do much throughout his life but express what’s in his soul and Christianity is in there and will probably always be.

So, sorry to disappoint but my agnostic/ Christian loving/ kinda doubting musings shall always exist and will probably be the milder side of the conversations that one must have when they take up their cross.

Thanks for stopping by, it was good to see you again.

BTW, if you believe the bible then, some reminders
-Christ never asked us to search for truth. He is the truth. You either have it or you do not.
-Christ never promised Christians happiness. Joy yes.
-not every one who says “Lord Lord” is born gain
-why do you spend time worrying about others and whether they are truly born again or not? Do it yourself and do it right.
-etc etc
If you do not believe it, then, why do you waste time discussing issues dealing with it.