Comments on: Here’s Why It’s Confusing Being Me and It Might Be Confusing Being You Too

By: Cmac

Cmac — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 04:03:52 +0000

Hi Mwangi,
I came upon your blogspot from a friend’s post on facebook (things Africans like), and clicked on it to see the whole list (still haven’t found the rest of it, lol!)

But I have since been navigating all the different pages and I like what you have done!! I would like to let you know that I identify with what you have posted on this particular page! It was almost like seeing my thoughts in print!! There’s some joy in kinship….

I especially like the switching of accents (which newcomers from home never get, and deride me for, until they’ve been around a while and learn the hard way, muhaha!). It makes life so much easier to ‘put on the accent’ and speed up understanding. I don’t knock on people who stick to their own(original) accents though, and ‘teach’ others to listen to them/the accent, perhaps they’re more patient/stubborn than I am.

And like you there are certain things about where I am that I appreciate infinitely, and my love for my country (Kenya) is unfazing, but there are things about it that irk me to no ends… My hope for a reconciliation is to somehow share my new insights in a way that may benefit our motherland

By: henry

henry — Wed, 13 May 2009 05:18:13 +0000

By Kenyan Heritage I mean seeking your language and your culture again

By: Mwangi

Mwangi — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:44:14 +0000

@Henry: I am afraid I don’t understand what you mean by that?

By: Henry Trewren

Henry Trewren — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:07:27 +0000

Hope you find your Kenyan Heritage

By: Mwangi

Mwangi — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:20:06 +0000

@Nightal: I don’t know much else to say but thank you very much for sharing all of that and for the words of encouragement.
You are right, it takes coming to a place like this to truly understand that WE ALL sweat, bleed, cry, laugh, love and live…..as humans should

By: Nightal

Nightal — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:34:17 +0000

Hi Mwangi,

Your post was though-provoking to me. These are my reflections about it, but I am no expert – merely want to share some thoughts.

I am a child of an English mother and Canadian father. Both toured a fair bit, including spending some time in Africa. I’d like to post my father’s photos of Africa online sometime soon – he was in Kenya in 1969.

Although I don’t want to belittle your struggle, I think a great deal of people in Australia feel the same way, as many people in this country are immigrants or their children.

My personal experience was only slightly similar to yours, as my parents were from a European, English-speaking background. Both of them had very different upbringings though – my grandmother had only one child and took my mother to Rhodesia, while my father grew up on a bleak Canadian farm in the middle of nowhere. They had habits that never quite fit into our neighbourhood, but made a few older friends in the street.

I still found myself identifying with your feelings because I have felt devastating loneliness at times. I have found it isolating that others are completely different to me and have no way of understanding or relating – sometimes due to troubles, sometimes due to grief. Having lost my father to suicide, I know this affliction can be immensely harmful, although his was quite an extreme case.

I have learnt to take comfort in the fact that we really are completely different to everyone else, simply because we are all completely unique – and that no other person could possibly see our troubles from our perspective anyway. I have come to realise that dwelling on that perspective can possibly be more of a hinderance.

Although my personal position is quite unlike yours, I can see similarities between you and many other people in this country, and hope you take comfort. You also seem to share a lot of sentiments with some of the original Australians. They frequently describe feeling wedged between two cultures, having lost connections with their culture and language skills. They can feel stuck between the original culture of this country, and the newer, western ways which are very much geared around economic gains and financial goals (I agree with you about the apparent emptiness of these pursuits).

You wrote some time ago: one of the great things about Australia is finding out you share simple commonalities with others – often of an entirely different background, such as India or elsewhere…. I remember you mentioning how refreshing you found it to start out believing you were so very different, only to be reminded how similar all people really are. I thought that was a very important lesson to have learnt and to have shared.

I do feel for your loss of your language skills, but feel certain you will retain it in your memory and perhaps regain them some day. It is quite common for people to take the time making friends, but end up with a broad support from others in their community years after they arrive in a new country.

At any rate, I hope you find whatever you need here, and encourage you in your pursuits on this web site. It certainly brings a lot to many others who might find themself in similar circumstances, so you should feel immense pride in that alone.

Best regards,
Nightal

By: Mwangi

Mwangi — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:21:41 +0000

@Carol: Thanks co-writer for chiming in. I don’t know if I have spoken about this before but in your previous statement I noticed something that we as Africans do quite a lot of once we come out to the West: we focus a great deal on the negatives of the West and contrast them with the positives of home.
In fact I would dare say no one on Earth loves Africa more than an African in the diaspora because all of a sudden things that we took for granted back home are the reasons Westerners pale in comparison to us.
That is one of the reasons I started this site and my hope is over time we will focus more and more and more and more on our collective culture as Afropolitans and what we want to bring to it and what we want to exclude from it.

In fact, I think that’s what I will make my next post about. What do we want to put in our Afropolitan constitution and what do we want to eliminate from it?

Thanks for the tips, I hope folks take them to heart………

By: Carol Achieng Otieno

Carol Achieng Otieno — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:15:52 +0000

I reckon a little bit of confusion happens to everybody who is in the diaspora, every once in a while. Diaspora is the term we use up here in the Netherlands to refer to people especially Africans who are living away from the continent and in the West. Many of my Kenyan friends who are able to, make a point of visiting Kenya at least once a year (that’s during the December hols), just to be in touch with home and enjoy being in a place where you’re less likely to be judged by the colour of your skin.
My position? I used to complain soooo much when I was back in Kenya, but being here in Holland as long as I’ve been, makes me have a greater appreciation of my country. Compared to most African countries, I think Kenyans are a hospitable lot, a lot less fake and a lot less superstitious.
When in comes to the West, as a friend of mine put it, there has to be a compromise for many confused people. We have to draw on their positives (being on time as an example, keeping a promise or your word, as another, and just being efficient in whatever one does), and combine them with our positives (the culture of hospitality, the culture of diplomacy in the way we handle things, our tradition, respect for elders, discipline etc). Completely trash out the negatives: miro-timing (African time – I still need help in this area as I once in a while get late for one thing or other), for the West (the racism) – the best way I deal with a racist person (is just overlook it, don’t let it get to me, at best – I’m a great person, their loss!). Another way to work out of the confusion is just to focus. We all have dreams and desires, achievements and goals to set. If you have set your goals, and you’re fulfilled, and you’re doing the best you can with the resources you have at hand, you’re a winner regardless of what anyone thinks.
On a personal basis, I think I’d like to achieve more. And as for the upbringing of my child, I’d love for my baby to grow up not in the West but in Africa, I’m still in awe of the way we discipline our kids!

By: Mwangi

Mwangi — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:53:18 +0000

@Hilary: Thanks for the kind words and welcome to the Displaced African (tDA). Me think today I am in the “let’s-call-it-a-blog” mood and me thinks tomorrow might be the “lets-call-it-a-web-resource” mood

I hope these are indeed interesting times for you and your mother.

B blesd

By: Hilary

Hilary — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:41:40 +0000

Hi Mwangi ..you’ve got a really interesting blog or site .. whichever term you wish to use .. this has to be beneficial to all kinds of people around the world – I congratulate you. I look forward to spending more time looking at the various articles etc .. I’ll be back & will post more in the future. I used to live in South Africa for 14 years, and am enjoying the personal development & psychological educational processes – while learning the technological aspects of the internet life ..while I help my mother through her last chapter after three strokes … she can still communicate, which makes life so much easier .. & has opened these other doors for me = interesting times .. we have to make life interesting .. and we have to learn & grow. Good luck and please don’t stop .. excellent .. bye Hilary in England!