The Man Who Got Rejected Many Many Many Times But Still Got the Girl of His Dreams

Here’s a Little Something to Inspire You as You Begin Your Week

This story is probably 3+ years old now, but like all good stories it is still super fresh in my mind.

I know quite a few folks who read this blog are from Melbourne and probably know this story. If you do:

Ssshhhh, don’t tell who it’s about :D

I do hope some day to get the parties involved in this story on the phone so they can tell the story first hand. But I will do my best to tell the story as I remember it.

How You Can Use this Story

You can either use this story as a metaphor for anything you desire or want to achieve in this life or just use it as an example of how to get a member of the opposite sex to “stop being an idiot and come to you” :P

Engagement Party

And so it was an engagement party like any other, with food, drinks and fun buzzing up and down the room in excess.

It came time for the happy couple to stand up and tell the story of how they met.

And so, the man stood.

Brief Bio

Now this man is many things: tall, intelligent, has a great heart, but he is not a good looking cat.

By comparison the woman is short (I am talking almost Eva Longoria – Tony Parket short) and very very beautiful, so clearly it wasn’t merely that the woman looked at the man and thought he was:

“Tall, dark and handsome.”

In fact as she put it:

“I looked at him and really liked his height, but aside from that, I thought, “Your dreaming!”"

And So They Met

He had been commissioned together with a friend to help her move.

He came, he saw and he was immediately smitten and taken with her.

At the time she was going out with someone from the land of Caucasia and from what I heard she was quite happy with what was going on.

Smitten and excited from head to toe he made a choice:

I have to have her.

No Elegance, Just Persistence

This began what is probably the longest telemarketing campaign in human history. As the woman put it (I paraphrase):

“He used to call me every day. He was soooo annoying!”

But he just kept calling and calling and calling and persisting with conversation, invitations to dates and invitations to swim in the miasma of his passion for her :P

Thank God They Were Part of the Same Immigrant Community

Because they were invited to and some times attended the same parties.

The Brilliant Plan

During one of these parties, the heroine of the tale decided she would craft a master plan to get this guy off her back once and for all.

1) Accept his advances for the evening

2) Kiss him

3) Viciously reject him afterward thereby destroying his spirit and desire to chase.

Now any man who has been at this “chasing women” game for a while will tell you:

That’s a brilliant plan…….for me!

What the Heresay Accounts Say Happened

As he often did, he persisted and persisted and persisted. He chased her until eventually he found his window of opportunity and used it to lock lips with her.

Kiss! Kiss! Bang !

She was confused, smitten and part of a Mills and Boon novel all at the same time. She got so confused she probably left that kiss in the middle of the night to go feed ducks in the local pond. She was Rapunzel, she was Gabrielle Union to his Morris Chestnut. She fell in love.

From then on……

It was cruise control really all the way to the engagement party. And now, 3 years later, you should see their daughter, she is absolutely gorgeous.

What I Derived from this Story

Now, many of you will probably know this, but many a time, and many a situation, I am a huge coward.

Though it may seem otherwise, I always take very controlled risks and this story reminds me, though I sometimes forget the power of making a decision and going after it.

You don’t necessarily have to take the smoothest or the most elegant route. You just have to decide and go after what it is that has been placed in your heart.

As I said, this story can be used either as a metaphor for something you want in this life – fame, material success and wealth, fame, popularity.

Or maybe just maybe there is that mocha-eyed person who you need to begin chasing with the quickness

Either way Godspeed and I hope I inspired you.

Have a gr888888888 week,

Mwangi

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No Comments

  • By Jim, August 20, 2008 @ 8:14 am

    Some of your stories is like you are addressing high school kids.

    JIM

  • By Mwangi, August 20, 2008 @ 8:17 am

    @Jim: How are you? You would have to be more specific…..This is a story of people who should be in their late 20s, early 30s. Though you know, I have always wanted to speak to high school and college youth, I feel that is where the seed for the creation of a magnificent future lies.

  • By Jim, August 20, 2008 @ 10:43 am

    Sometimes I read your stuff and sometimes I go “This young man is ignorant or naïve” . I know you have genuine intentions but some of the stuff you write ..damn.

    Okay..First
    1.You just sit home and blog all day hoping one day to make millions of dollars
    2.You tell people what they should do to succeed and you are probably living with your mama
    3.You don’t have a job
    4.You are a young guy who drop out of college

    Okay…How do you expect people to your stuff seriously?

    Go back to Kenya and talk to high schools kids who are willing to migrate to Australia. Most Kenyans migrating to USA will probably find your stuff irrelevant

    Blog partime Kijana and concrete on real stuff.

  • By Nerimae, August 20, 2008 @ 11:17 am

    I just lost my whole post. In summary, Jim I think you are being too tough on Mwangi. I know you are giving him tough love but sometimes you should let people do what they love, let him travel down the path of blogging and if he makes his millions good for him. If he doesnt atleast he is doing what he likes and its not harmful. Remember success is a journey not a destination, regardless if he is not yet successful, he is planting those seeds in the minds of his readers and himself too. Mwangi, the only thing that is constant is change, so just keep at what you are doing, your blog may be irrelevant to some people now, but you dont know what the future holds. And I think for someone around 21, your blog reflects responsibility and opportunity for growth, keep at it.

  • By Mwangi, August 20, 2008 @ 11:50 am

    @Jim: Thank you my friend. Should this life ever give me success I will print out that comment and read it out loud, because in truth your comment more than any other in a veeerrrryyyyy long time gave me the urge to say:

    “I’ll show you!”

    And indeed I will. I rarely become this self indulgent but mark my words my friend, one day I shall define what is concrete and what is real and what the standards are. I don’t know when and how, but as surely as God has blessed me thus far, so it shall pass.

    Thank you for stopping by

  • By Jim, August 20, 2008 @ 1:18 pm

    You are very optimistic

    Don’t get me wrong Mwangi. I know you will succeed in other ventures but I don’t see hundreds of Africans immigrant coming to this blog just to seek immigration advice.

    If you check the web, almost every African nation has some type of community forum. Unless those forums disappear tomorrow, I don’t see anyone migrating here to seek information.

    I try to be realistic. I know you like when people give you some sort of positive comments lakini I like to tell my true opinion.

    If i’m wrong, throw it in my face. I will even support this blog by donating 100 US dollars.

    JIM

  • By who me, August 20, 2008 @ 7:04 pm

    @Jim I think you are very pessimistic. Your point that cause there are other social forums doesn’t wash. It doesn’t invalidate the need for variety and other outlets for the same material.

    I think tDA – correct me if am wrong Mwangi- does more than just give advice but offers yet another forum to exchange experiences and ideas. In the aim of bettering the African diaspora.

    Am all for variety. Ugali na mpoka ( “Ugali” is a meal a mixture of maize flour and water from Kenya, it’s called “Sadza” in Zimbabwe and “mpoka” refers to kale, I believe-I am unsure of this one) kila siku ( “kila siku” = every day) will bore you eventually. Mix it up with some mala (”Mala” = fermented milk – again I’m unsure) some times. It’ll always be fresh.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 3:06 am

    @Nerimae: Thank you for the kind words and coming to my defence. I think over time it is, as one would expect, becoming clearer and clearer just who I am speaking to and who isn’t interested in hearing from me.

    Indeed who knows what the future holds. Thanks to my friend, Jim, I have now being re energized to create a magnificent one.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 3:12 am

    @Jim: The fact of the matter is neither you or I really know what the future of the African web, unless we create it. Indeed there are a lot of community forums, that are extremely useful. However, the reason I am not a fan of the forum style is because there is no unifying voice or unifying vision that drives all the content therein.

    I think there is definitely a need for us to step up as immigrants and for us to learn how to succeed. As I said in my previous series, the means don’t matter. I chose blogging for a plethora of reasons, but my dear friend if you know a better way to get to the same destination, by all means go for it with my support.

    I know and understand the world of blogging and have a vision for where I want to take this blog and so I see myself at this for quite a while.

    Your comment hit me at a time when I was very vulnerable and struck me at the core my friend, and now I really am re-energized and galvanized to make things happen. So whereas your comment may have had a negative effect when I first read it, it was almost immediately followed by a positive outcome of catalyzing an outburst of indignation and determination in me.

    In short, overall I guess it was a positive comment.

    I intend on doing so my friend, I will keep your comment near and dear to me as I have the comments of other friends and relatives of mine.

    Finally, as I said once upon a time, I genuinely believe if we work hard, smart, consistently and with a willingness to constantly change approach, then what we do will only be crazy until its popular and then its normal.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 3:18 am

    @who me: As always, “loving the name”. Thank you for defending me and reaffirming some of the principles on which this site is based.

    Your choice of metaphor is what Lupe is to rap music: pure poetry :P

  • By mwasjd, August 21, 2008 @ 4:36 am

    I was losing psyche to chase, but you’ve given me new hinya (strength). Cheers namesake.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 4:38 am

    @mwasjd: You are still chasing my friend. Wow, you my friend are a true warrior. Godspeed with that my friend, Godspeed.

    Cheers right back at ya Mwangi :)

  • By Caroline J, August 21, 2008 @ 9:25 am

    @Jim…As a reader of this blog, I find your comments to Mwangi to be very condenscending, rude, distasteful and unwarranted. Instead of cutting down Mwangi…why don’t you tell us what you are personally doing to better other people or better yet why don’t you move on to other blogs that provide the intellectual content you are seeking?

    @Mwangi…Do less defending and keep running with what you believe. There is no need to keep explaining why you do the things you do.
    Some of us appreciate your blog and your style.

  • By Nerimae, August 21, 2008 @ 11:38 am

    Actually I think that Jim’s view point is needed, I appreciate a person who is extremely blunt than a person who sugar coats stuff almost to the point of lying. I think you should read between the lines and take the advice he is giving you, I think he is basically telling you to diversify and balance out both your life and blog. For example, I read the post and still have no clue who this guy that got denied many times is? Is it an inside joke for people in Melbourne? Also the blog focuses alot on how to immigrate to Australia, for a person who is not interested in migrating there, it could come off as irrelevant, again diversify. I dont think Jim was coming with malicious intentions, what he forgot to do was balance the negatives with the positives. Anyways good luck with everything

  • By Pink M, August 21, 2008 @ 6:43 pm

    Ok, that love story is truly sweet, though there is no chasing or being chased going on here.

    Jim did well in challenging you, but I wish it was all said in objectivity. What does living in one’s Mum’s house got to do with their success? I thought you had a job?
    Anyways, I believe if one has passion for what they do, they will eventually succeed at it, if they keep on doing it and take correction and direction.
    All in all, I’m glad the comments have energized you into action.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 10:25 pm

    @Caroline J: Just like Jim, you have given me yet another statement that has struck me at the core. Of late, I have been spending way more time than I should defending my positions and my blogs, usually in front of people who have not taken the time to investigate my position or put it into context.

    You reminded me that I should be extremely aware of who I am serving, who will respond positively to my blog, who won’t (which is becoming pretty clear to me) and then move unapologetically forward.It’s a much better alternative to getting bogged down in intellectual debates which will end in inaction and a dissipation of energy that could have been put to serving folks like you, who like what the blog is about, support it or taking positive action.

    For that I say, merci merci merci, asante asante asante, thank you thank you thank you :D

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 10:36 pm

    @Nerimae: What parts of the tale didn’t you understand so I can clarify it for you? At times I didn’t want to go into too much detail because I don’t have permission of the people who told the story to tell it so I just wanted to express the principle that I most got from the story.

    I make a HUUUGGGEEE digression here, so bear with me.

    I think as a general rule to criticism from now on, I will always have the same answer.

    I don’t say this with malice, sarcasm or any malevolent intent on my part:

    If you don’t like what I do or what the blog does then either:
    a) Criticize me AND THEN give me positive feedback and/or
    b) Take action and create a much better alternative to what I am doing.

    As I was saying to Caroline, as I evolve over the course of this blogging thing, I am losing more and more and more respect for intellectual discourse and debate ESPECIALLY when it does not result in action because I really feel those are moments lost that you could have used to put your grandiose ideas to action and who knows where that may have led.

    I was listening to an interview with a guy by the name of Robert Cialdini and he was talking about how he did not like the fact that academia was actually not taking their discussions and research and findings and putting them into actionable, useful information for the public.

    Instead, to use blunt language, they were participating in intellectual self-service&pleasure where they would make themselves feel intelligent in their peer review journals and the halls of their academies.

    When I wrote the article on the need to take action, I wrote it because I know for a fact that majority of us immigrants are better educated than most of human history combined.

    We know more facts, figures, historical facts, have more archetypes and exemplars stored in our memories than we know what to do with.

    I think as a general rule, we should NEVER read another book until we take action and test ideas from the previous book to see how they gel in the real world.

    To bring it back to this blog, we should NEVER criticize using words but instead should do so using actions. Intellectual discourse, debate and argument will end as soon as the debate is over, but action directed by a powerful intent (in this case to do better than our opponent) will probably result in a much longer lasting result not only in the short term but perhaps for a very long time or who knows, maybe in perpetuity.

    Well now that I have typed that, I know what tomorrow’s post is going to be about :D

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 10:40 pm

    @Pink M: Personally, I am of the opinion that objectivity does not exist and that “we see things as we are” even when we try to or say we are “seeing things as they are”

    To be honest with you, I don’t know what it is. There are certain type of people who always seem to react in exactly the same way to what I write.

    Over the course of doing this I have actually been told the same things, just from different people, over and over and over again.

    I like to protect my ego, and remain positive by not over analysing any negativity or criticism but instead trying to take that energy and sublimate it to a higher, more positive, mutually benefitial purpose.

    This comment seems a little abstract to me. Let me know if it is, and I will rephrase it.

  • By Pink M, August 21, 2008 @ 11:03 pm

    I think I got it. Thanks. Actually you got me thinking, may be objectivity doesn’t exist, but there is a point where one gets personal when critiquing the impersonal and to me, that’s crossing a certain line.

  • By Mwangi, August 21, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

    @Pink M: Even when conducting empirical research, the simple process of selecting what to experiment out of the millions and billions and trillions of variables that can be tested and investigated in this world is an expression of where your head is at and your thinking is at.

    I think what gives me relief about this whole process, among many things, is the fact that, every blogger I know and study, even the ginormous ones, heck anyone who is in the public consciousness has a camp of people who want to tear them limb from limb. Now, I may have critics, but I don’t have haters like say, Timothy Ferriss who is way more materially successful than I.

  • By Pink M, August 21, 2008 @ 11:50 pm

    Be prepared for the haters too, cos FYI success comes with hordes of them.

  • By Jim, August 21, 2008 @ 11:53 pm

    Mwangi…You seem like you don’t like negative critics and what I found out is they affect you deeply. I am not here to hurt your feelings man. I was just trying to be realistic. Those who praise you all the time might be setting you up for failure and, if you can’t take a simple critic, you will have a rough time in your life.

    This is my last comment on this post. I will check back next year. Matter of fact, I will bookmark this blog.

    JIM

  • By Mwangi, August 22, 2008 @ 12:06 am

    @Jim: I don’t dislike critics at all. Your criticism just hit me when I was vulnerable and I had to immediately find a positive way to look at it, or ignore it and so I chose to find a positive way to look at it.

    However, you must also understand my friend, that I must see my vision through to the end, and as such, whenever I get criticism to the contrary I must find a way to either use it to advance my vision or dispose of it. I chose to use it as a catalyst to move forward, and in fact tomorrow’s post is motivated by what we have discussed today.

    You will notice that I did not attack you or go on a rant or default to the old, “let them hate and we’ll watch the money pile up,” thing because I don’t think it would be useful to the both of us.

    I appreciate the fact that you took the time to stop by as a friend and give me some advice. Thank you :D

  • By Mwangi, August 22, 2008 @ 12:08 am

    @Pink M: I think I will pretty much take the approach that Carol has proposed, I think I have spoken enough about to criticism and tomorrow I will do one final post about it and then focus on all of y’all who have supported me and accept there are folks who I will constantly “agree to disagree with,”, whether they do so in a respectful, friendly manner or not.

  • By pammy, August 22, 2008 @ 2:22 am

    The story is about persistence and never giving up in life, love and other mysteries. It is relevant to everyone regardless of where they are from, where they grew up or where they are located.

    He knew he wanted the girl, he went after the girl, he didn’t let himself get sidetracked and he got the girl.

    Or some people will say, the girl saw the light…lol!

  • By Mwangi, August 22, 2008 @ 2:25 am

    @pammy: YES! You nailed it and described what I wanted to communicate perfectly.

    Thank you :D

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