I know of someone in a church I attended who was involved in an accident, he had spilnal injury that resulted in him losing control of his hands, legs. He ended in a wheelchair, on public assistance. He used to be in the military, then in civilian life worked in a outdoor occupation, he was the epitome of the Macho man. From that, to being fed and taken care of by his wife (who he used to support) and then the publlic assistance.
I now realise some of the wonderful lessons the rest of us in church got. Children raised in the church got to be comfortable with people with disabilities… you could see, and hear as they would race around screaming in delight on his wheelchair. He was a living testament to the need for compassion, most in the church were fully employed, some had very successful businesses, and many lived in neighbourhoods where there was disdain for “welfare cases”, he put a human face to it.

He made me confront what it meant to be a “man”, what do you do if you cannot provide for your family, and have don’t have the strength?
His, and his families struggles also taught me that life actually goes on and can be enjoyed after a tragedy. I still have not internalized that, but when I am down, I always come back to the idea that I need to find a way out, there is a way out.

We also had another person with chronic pain, chronic debilitating pain from a back injury, and who was facing the prospect of being laid off. She did not take it well, and was very angry, but as she worked through her issues, I learned that no body is perfect, and I don’t have to be a saint going through her trials.

The biggest lesson was one day when she was really having a bad day and I just did not know what to say to her, I had no idea how to solve any of her problems, I was even angry about the way she was being treated at work. At the end of my polite listening, I told her that I was so sorry for what she was going through, and that I felt so bad I could do absolutely nothing to help her. She told me thank you for listening, and it was a deep felt thank you. I got it. Listen, empathetic listening. I tried it on some women, and wow!!! No more cheesy lines.

As I get older, I appreciate Job more, I do not know God’s plans ( and many who profess don’t), and do not pretend to know them, and sometimes they look absurd or cruel, maybe some of his plans will be evident to me, some will not. I look at it as God has more variables he is working with, i.e. the several billion, past, present and future.

The self assurance of westerners, so often remarked on (and deeply unattractive in so many ways), has another side to it.

That belief in action = curse/blessing is quite strong in Africa. You will find some preachers who say that all the natural disasters only occur in countries that are apart from God and that makes sense, and find all sorts of “punishment for sins” links everywhere. Thank you for commenting………..