Stuff African People Like: Talking about Demons and Satan

The Devil

You can be forgiven for thinking that rather than being Christians,a lot of Africans belong to a religion called Anti-Demon or Anti….er…..er….Anti-anti-Christ Religion.

African people see demons and the devil EVERYWHERE. Whether it’s the cursed tree that meant that you didn’t get the job you are after, the man who gave your baby “the evil eye” that turned him into a criminal or even the witchdoctor who caused you to be unable to perform sexually, Africans can give you a deep, intellectual breakdown on Lucifer’s war strategy in every area of your life.

In addition to that, streets are littered with very cheap tabloid newspapers that can beyond the shadow of a doubt prove that Bill Gates, Bret the Hitman Hart and every secular musician in history is the anti-Christ.

Whenever someone falls ill, rather than blaming it on the usual culprits of a terrible lifestyle and diet, most Africans will immediately label it “an attack from the evil one.”

If one of your African friends ever falls sick then you will score HUGE points by taking the following quote and adapting it to your situation:

“Oh my, you are ill. It is an attack from the evil one. Don’t worry we will get read of this bad spirit. I will keep you in my prayer notes and we’ll pray for you in my prayer group.”

In addition to that, use the expression: “Satan is a liar,” liberally in any conversations with African people when appropriate.

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No Comments

  • By val, May 13, 2008 @ 3:59 am

    witchcraft..woi..watched a Nigerian movie once and after I could have sworn something was following me home the next day..I was that scared..lol

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 4:02 am

    @val: How could I have forgotten to mention Naija movies, the way they are so notorious for this type of thing. Us it used to be stories…ati there is a ghost hiding in a certain hut in the field or all the demons and half men/half-donkey people that you meet when you go to the Coast. For a while I was petrified to go out when it was dark in Coast.

  • By seinlife, May 13, 2008 @ 12:17 pm

    Now this one is news to me – what is this attributed to; christianity or african traditions or what? Very interesting – where do you all get nigerian movies?

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

    @seinlife: It’s a mixture of our old school traditions mixed in with Christianity. For example, my mother considers an owl perched near the house as a bad omen (Kikuyu superstition) and believes that many deaths occur as a result of a spirit of death (Christianity). Surely you must have read those cheap newspapers that explained how WWW online is really 666 and Bill Gates is the anti-christ?
    I would love to find an online place to watch Naija movies. I am currently a member of their forums and they seem like they have great stories to tell.

  • By sunny, May 13, 2008 @ 3:55 pm

    afrovision.tv
    suggested for the GH/Naija movies you speak of. Funny how we are quick to call out our west African brothers and sisters, when really the clearest examples are at home and in our own minds and hearts.

  • By Kelly, May 13, 2008 @ 4:16 pm

    Ok, I think I should start watching Naija movies. I have never watched them, but my Mum always has these stories about how some husband was imprisoned in a bottle..lol..
    What about the signboards everywhere about Mganga from TZ, or MSA who will aolve a myriad of problems ranging from sexual impotence to success in business? Or the wives who claim that their husbands have been bewitched by young gals?

    Do you think our belief in witchcraft and demons brings them into existence?

  • By Mo Ma, May 13, 2008 @ 8:38 pm

    Talk about coincidences, I was formulating a similar post in my head during today’s lecture. Are you sure you didn’t use some ‘other manner’ of accessing my thoughts… :P

    I for one totally and completely believe in the supernatural; not ghosts per-se in the mold of dead people walking the earth, but spirits that live amongst us.

    My grandmother (whom I totally trust & would have no reason to make this up) told this story of something that happened some decades ago. She got startled in the middle of the night and woke up to see this shining figure floating above her. The figure then spoke and told her “I’m not here for you; I’m here for Ebla” then it moved away. She (somehow) feel back to sleep and, the following morning, awoke to hear that Ebla (her co-wife) had passed in her sleep.

    The Angel of Death? You tell me.

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 11:40 pm

    @sunny: Thanks for the Afrovision link, it looks great!
    It is weird how Naija Boys and Accra girls have come to represent superstitious stereotypes. My guess is because of the movies…you make enough movies with witch doctors in it and it can’t help but rub on the national stereotype. To compete, perhaps we can make more movies and television shows with witchdoctors in it (btw for anyone from Kenya….remember the Kamba witchdoctor from the program Tausi? Priceless)

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 11:43 pm

    @Kelly: The human mind is ridiculously powerful. It’s very difficult to dismiss things like “evil eye” and “pointing of the bone” as mere superstition when people believed in them and a lot of the time they used to come true…..the power of the human mind is yet to be fully explored and understood me thinks.

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 11:46 pm

    @Mo Ma: As I was saying to Kelly above, it is kinda hard to dismiss our superstition entirely as jokes when so many “weird supernatural events” take place all the time. There was actually a brief period of time where all of my mother’s dreams came true i.e. she dreams that something will happen and the next day or a couple of days later it happens exactly as she envisioned in her dream.
    What I would love though, is to go through all the traditional superstitions and beliefs of the various tribes of Africa- I am sure there are just golden stories somewhere in there.

  • By gal africana, May 14, 2008 @ 8:42 am

    I SHOULD NOT HAVE READ THIS BEFORE BEDTIME! Scariiiiiiii

    The naija movies are spooky beyond belief…the funny thing is most west Africans really believe in that stuff…

    Ai I’m spooked now.

  • By Mwangi, May 14, 2008 @ 9:12 am

    @gal: LOL, sorry for that…..just keep chanting to yourself:

    “Remember it’s satirical, remember it’s satirical, remember it’s satirical…..”
    and then follow that with:

    “Sweet dreams! Sweet dreams! Sweet dreams!………”

  • By acolyte, May 14, 2008 @ 2:05 pm

    Sigh, we have always been superstitious people as Africans. Saved or unsaved!

  • By Mwangi, May 14, 2008 @ 2:08 pm

    @Aco: And in the West it’s called “being spiritual” instead of religious ;)

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