Jungle Fever 2: The Relationship Between White Men and African Women

One of the first articles I ever wrote was Jungle Fever: the Relationships Between African Men and White Women. It’s not my proudest achievement, but if you type ‘mandingo fantasy’ in Google, I will be among the first few search results (and ironically, by using that term again in a post, I pretty much solidify my standing on page 1 of the term’s search results).

For that reason, that article get’s read every single day somewhere in the world. Since I am constantly going back to the article to moderate comments, I noticed that I promised to give my take on what happens when the Women of Chocolate meet the Men of Vanilla. So here we are.

Interracial wedding

Considering that I was not blessed with the ability to breastfeed and am a member of the group that pees standing up, the most I can do is give a very pedestrian take on the relationships that take place between African women and white men.

Aside from sex, the other reason it’s difficult for me to go into much depth on the matter is because of the top-secret-wouldn’t-share-it-if-you-tortured-me-inquisition-style approach that a lot of women take to their love, and especially sex, lives. However, a few cracks have shown through and I encourage you to leave some comments and fill in any gaps.

White Men are in Demand
If you are a Caucasian male….welcome! You are going to enjoy (or not….just read on) the next couple of paragraphs. Significant numbers of African women across all age groups want to take a sip from the masculine tree of Caucasia (wow, isn’t that poetic? I like that, and you can use it for any race :D ). Now the reasons vary across age groups and socio-economic lines a little like this:

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry

Poor Young African Women
This one especially applies to a sub-section of young women who tend to be very rural, but have had enough of Western influence to believe they have a hang of the Westernized culture (much to the amusement of some of us pretentious middle and upper class folk). They tend to work as hairdressers or prostitutes. These women want Caucasian males for money and the benefits that money will bring them. They are poor. They don’t have nice things. They want the money and the nice things.
They are also motivated by something else that I will discuss a little further on, but for now let’s move to…..

Middle and Upper Class African Women
Some of these women are motivated by money, but it doesn’t play the huge factor it does with the poor African women. These women in addition tend to be motivated by three things.
The first is a simple desire for adventure and exploration. The same thing happens to African males when they land overseas happens to our African sistaz: they want to taste and experience everything in the shop.
The second one I thought was a joke, but once I heard it a couple of times, realized that people really believe it. That saddened me. Some of them go for Caucasian males either because they love Caucasian skin and/or want to have beautiful babies. Love for Caucasian skin, no problem, there are some pretty fascinating things about the skin that amaze me, like how the skin gets red when you apply pressure then loses the colour when you ease on the pressure.

Leila Arcieri

However, because you want beautiful babies?! Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the subtext of that statement that half-black, half-white kids are superior somehow to a typical black child. With all the self-esteem issues we already have as a race, do we need this one too?!

Now, granted, half-black, half-white babies do tend to be pretty good looking – Shemar Moore, Barrack Obama, Lenny Kravitz, Jasmine Guy and Halle Berry just to name a few – but seriously!

In this day and age shouldn’t we be working on sorting out our inadequacies and insecurities as a race rather than making partner selection on the basis of something so superficial. AND NEVER FORGET, standards of beauty are taught. Shouldn’t we want to bring kids into the world who won’t look at other black people and think of them as hideous. But I digress…….
Reason number three, which is the same reason the poor African women traverse into the Vanilla milkshake aisle, is discussed below

Mature African Women
After the childishness and the silliness of youth (though a huge number of African women skip this stage all together) you are ready to settle down and build a life. Many African women at this stage are intelligent, hard working and have some form of material achievement. So when they look out across the globe at their prospects, they select the Caucasian male for a reason I know a lot of brothers won’t like:

White man kissing a black woman's feet

They Treat Women Better
Feminism hit the West hard! In fact my two cents on it is that in this day and age, as far as relationships are concerned, the power is imbalanced heavily in favour of women.

Men have been taught that women are divine creatures that should be pampered, wined, dined and consulted when making any major decisions.
Of course this isn’t universal, there have been some horror stories of abuse of all sorts, but enough men do this that it counts. Even when the man is simply after some sex from an African girl, he’ll take her to dinner and treat her like an absolute gentleman on the way to the bedrooom.
On the flip side, majority of African men wouldn’t know romance if it was King Kong on top of the highest building. And that’s for a good reason: Most African men don’t care. A lot of us still believe very strongly in tradtional roles, chauvinism and sadly far too many still believe that wife beater isn’t just an article of clothing.
And so they decide I’d rather my Pink-hued prince than my Cocoa-brown wife beater any day.

This is how we once were but we're changing

My Feelings On It
I could lie and say that I am fully in support of this form of interracial mingling and it makes me feel good and fuzzy inside when I see a good African woman with a great white man. I always just feel sad. I feel like we all landed on the island to fight a war together and we have lost another soldier.

Call me corny but I honestly believe that all of us Africans here are part of the same body with the same history and struggles and when one part of the body is lost, it saddens me.
Don’t expect me to join any groups against interracial love, but if you are going to bring me your brand new White husband, give me some time. I am not used to it quite yet.

If you want to join me in further exploration of African immigrant relationships, make sure you stay subscribed via either RSS or email.

If You Want Love, then Make it,

Mwangi

PS: What is with Asian women and white men? You would think one is Michael Jackson and the other a sequin glove…..can anyone explain this to me?

83 Comments

  • By rags, May 12, 2008 @ 4:16 am

    interesting blog. I found your thoughts most refreshing and entertaining.

  • By Mwangi, May 12, 2008 @ 4:48 am

    @rags: Thanks for the kind words. I hope to hear more from you in future. And thank you for introducing me to Indiginas (who I found surprisingly entertaining) and that track by Manjeru is just brilliant.

  • By Caustic Blonde, May 12, 2008 @ 10:44 am

    PS: What is with Asian women and white men? You would think one is Michael Jackson and the other a sequin glove…..can anyone explain this to me?

    This comment opens up a can of worms, but I will try and explain what I have seen from my own personal experience. What I am about to tell you obviously does not apply to all Asian women and white men relationships, so please don’t scream stereotype if you happen to be in or know of one that is different from what I am about to state. I know not all relationships are based on this.

    I have a friend that I have known since grade school. He has always been very shallow in the type of women he would pursue and unfortunately for him the women he pursued were quite shallow too. He didn’t have the money, looks or car to obtain one of these women. I had lunch with him and friends a few years back when we were all in our early twenties. At the ripe old age of 23 he was a bitter, whiney young man concerning American women. He blamed all of us for his failed relationships (actually I don’t think he had ever had a relationship) with these shallow women he would pursue. They would use him for money, help doing stuff, but never really wanted anything to do with him. If he had more money, he could have probably landed one of these shallow women (gold diggers), but at that point in his life he was still in college and had no real money. He went on and on about how he was such a “nice guy” ( I sincerely believe nice guys don’t exist) and American women would take advantage of him. He would look over at me and my friend Lisa while he was ranting and raving about American women. It was one of the most uncomfortable lunch dates I have ever had and I caught myself rolling my eyes several times. The one thing you must understand is that there were American women who were interested in him, he just wasn’t interested in them because as far as I can tell they were not perfect (Of course I am speaking of his idea of perfection). The women who pursued him were not over weight or ugly, but he only ever went after women that were rail thin and had super model beauty. He sincerely could not see that the problem was not American women, but with him. He couldn’t see the forest for the trees. It’s not to say that some American women didn’t treated him poorly, they did! But as awful as some of these women were to him, I always believe it takes two, one who does and one who allows. He eventually left the United States for a job in Japan because he was tired of American women. Apparantly he has found a woman who worships him and all is well. I don’t know how true that statement is as he has never brought her to the United States and he visits several times a year. All I know is that I have opted out of all lunch dates if it is mentioned he is going to be there. The BUSM entry in my blog is written specifically about him.

  • By Mwangi, May 12, 2008 @ 10:59 am

    @Mwangi: When we discussed it that is one of the only reasons we could think of. The submissive nature of the Asian women vs the more assertive nature of the Western women is what drives Western men to Asian women, in addition to their sense of style and slim figures. That complies with my intuition and the discussions I have had. Thanks for the story.

  • By Sunny, May 12, 2008 @ 2:16 pm

    Here, you have hit an important topic. A reason why African women in the diaspora go over to the creamier side of life is that realization that the men will often have a more expanded sense of romance. Small example of sample date at home (name your capital in Africa) – Meat and beer at a local. Here, meat and beer at a local, get flowers before, have doors opened, wined and dined…the outing may not involve the boys, possibly and if you go to watch soccer, you were consulted beforehand. If the date is dinner indoors, you as an African woman may have someone else clean the dishes and bring you tea. Strange to some ears, but that is a big reason why.

  • By Kelly, May 12, 2008 @ 3:25 pm

    I agree with Sunny that romance is a big part of why many women would go for a white man.
    Traditionally, all the man was expected to do is provide for his family, and in turn the woman would churn out babies, take care of the family and worship the man. Sorry to say, but this is kinda outdated with the empowered career woman and all, but our african brothers are taking long to catch up. Women realise the value they deliver, and is it asking for too much to be romanced in turn?
    I wouldn’t go for a white husband as yet, but I think our men need to step up.

  • By NAkeel, May 12, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

    African men loosing on their sistaz because they dont want to meet us half way. Its not my relationship its our raltionship and we should work together to get the best. Lets adore each other and apprecaite each other than assuming that I am the boss work it out.
    Am loving the leopard skin template.

  • By Mwangi, May 12, 2008 @ 11:39 pm

    @Sunny: The first time I heard a woman-she was a hairdresser-talking about why she was hungrily searching for a White man (she was in Kenya) it was pretty much for that reason. And I paraphrase:
    “Before we do anything, what do you want to do sweety? Can I rub your feet sweety?”
    That can be a very welcome shock I guess to a lot of African women.

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 1:13 am

    @Kelly: I think that part of the reason that white men may also find Asian women so fantastic is because of the very reason you put above – Asian women do their part on their home and are happy with a balance between doing their part in the home and being romanced.
    My mother went to University here in Oz and one of the things she told me was how much she pitied a lot of Australian men. Their wives expected them to go to work, come home, romance them and take care of the house and children and could easily divorce taking half, child support and the kids if he didn’t. And for some odd reason too, a lot of Australian middle age women here are very bitter and angry whereas a lot of men here are very nice and feminine…..a whole post could be written on this, it’s bizzare

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 1:15 am

    @Nakeel: At times I truly pity a lot of African sistaz. If there is one thing I can assure you, there is nowhere in the African boy-child manual on romance. In our teens when we do learn romance from older men, it’s just how to use it as a tool for sex. The fact that we actually don’t have relationship classes and mentors in society, when it’s such an important part of life, is something we should work hastily to correct. In fact that’s one of the areas that me thinks the church and religious institutions kick butt…they don’t assume marriages working is a given and counsel and mentor and teach the soon to be wed and the newly weds.
    Thanks for the kind words on the print….I think the consensus is that it’s pretty much staying.

  • By sokari, May 13, 2008 @ 7:59 am

    I am not going to comment on some of the comments cause i am in a mad rush. but first thing. Is there some kind of epidemic of african women marrying / partnering white men? where did all these myths come from? Maybe because I am from Nigeria I am missing something here. Either way I would turn all the myths round and read this as white men stalking women of colour (they also go to the far east for wives) and preying on poor women – at the lowest level this is a form of sexual slavery. I remember a couple of times I was in Banjul Gambia seeing a lot of predators of both sexes – they call it sex tourism!

    with regard to children of mixed parentage (i would like to first ask someone to explain to me which half of a person is white and which is black?) On a personal level my own parents have been married for 50 odd years most of which was spent in Africa and i am sure they cannot be the only interracial couple that remain happily married after such a long time.

    “Shouldn’t we want to bring kids into the world who won’t look at other black people and think of them as hideous.” The implication here is:
    people of mixed parentage think themselves superior – some may and frankly i pity them but with all due respect that is such a sweeping statement and grounded in the color complex. Believe it or not there are many so called “mixed race” people who do not accept that label and prefer to identify as being Black. And just maybe people just go for people cause they like each other – does there always have to be some subtext to every encounter. I dunno this post is not agreeing with me at all – sorry friend but what can i say?

  • By Mwangi, May 13, 2008 @ 8:22 am

    @sokari: That’s fine if the post doesn’t fully agree with you, you’re opposing vantage point will expand my view of the situation.
    1) It’s actually far from a pandemic. Mixed race marriages and relationships are still a minority but I thought I would still discuss them because they are significant enough to matter and it’s probably something that all of us immigrants have either been involved in or no about.
    2) To the view point of sexual slavery: I have never heard it put like that….but one could make a case for that view point…. the more powerful person (the Western male) using power and money to take what you want (sex) from a much weaker party (the African woman)….probably plays a role some of the time, especially in horror stories that I have heard of.
    3) I have seen mixed race, white man/black woman marriages work quite well actually, much better than black men/ white women relationships anyway.
    4) The inferiority complex rarely originates in the mixed sense children but from the Africans themselves who think of their fellow cocoa bean/charcoal black folk as hideous and prefer the cocoa butter yellow complexion and soft features of mixed race kids.
    5) Personally, I believe that everything we do we do for a reason. I am just examining one of the reasons that a lot of things happen: race. In this race conscious world, I think race still plays a large factor in any interracial relationship…….
    Thanks for stopping by….btw, twitter feed is fantastic!

  • By gal africana, May 14, 2008 @ 8:36 am

    Do you also get sad when you see a black man with a white woman? Is it also tough for you when a guy pal of yours introduces you to their white girlfriend?

    I’m very lax on the interracial relationships thing…and to be honest, I think Africans abroad limit their choices considerably if they decide to only date Africans….there just isn’t enough of us “out here”…

    At the end of the day…men are men…some African men can be very unromantic and macho and brutishly so…some white men can be indecisive wussies…but in between…men are men. My advice to women…consciously be involved in your choice of man and don’t care what color he is.

  • By Mwangi, May 14, 2008 @ 8:59 am

    @gal africana: Believe it or not…no, I don’t get sad when I see a black man with a white woman. Currently I am not in a place where I want to date one, but for some odd reason, black men with white women doesn’t bother me at all….go figure.
    My hope is that one day this blog will be a part of teaching folk to “just be more conscious” about life in general, especially in areas that matter such as relationships and health……

  • By gal africana, May 14, 2008 @ 9:10 am

    Hmmm interesting that the black man white woman mix is ok for you. Maybe you feel bothered because you feel that there is one less “good African woman” for you to choose from?…there could be a good white woman out there for you…if you open yourself up to the possibility…or a good black woman…just like men are men…women are women…our skin color and cultures are pure labels…we are wayyyy more than that…YOU know this…no?

  • By Mwangi, May 14, 2008 @ 9:16 am

    @gal: Personally I think in this day and age considering how cosmopolitan we all are, what matters most for us “city kids” is culture and what culture one identifies with.
    Simply put, for me to have stimulating and/or flirtatious conversation with women who identify with Australian, or British or most Western cultures, except perhaps Germans, is close to impossible.
    If they are African, Indian or Sri Lankan…different story.
    Actually now that you’ve said that, I don’t think it’s just that there’s one less African woman to chose from, but also she may act as an example to African women on her level or better than her and then we might end up losing one more thing to foreigners….interesting how we all have idiosyncratic, individualized beliefs about things…..

  • By gal africana, May 14, 2008 @ 9:42 am

    uhm…Germans? Seriously? hahaha…sorry, cant help it…Germans?!

    well…those are not the only cultures on earth…so there’s hope yet…I just believe in being open to the smörgåsbord of cultures on earth and celebrating them…so my flirting “habits” are congruent with that, makes things fun…although I find Germans a bit uptight…lol

    I do hear you…I just feel that you have nothing to fear.

  • By Mwangi, May 14, 2008 @ 10:15 am

    @gal: Hey don’t knock the Germans, they are a helluva-lot-a-fun bunch. I don’t know what you’re talking about uptight, their accent might sound a bit militant but they can party with the best of them.
    I live in the most multicultural city on Earth (if not, it’s number 2 after Montreal) so I have gotten a pretty good sampling of the various cultures (Mediterranean, Asian, European, African…the only ones I haven’t seen too much of, South Americans)
    I am a very loud person and as a result, I am one of those people who people either like or not, and some cultures just like my style a bit better than others.

  • By gal africana, May 14, 2008 @ 5:47 pm

    I’ll concede to not knocking Germans if you quit knocking spirituality (ati “in the west its called spirituality”…you cow lol) have a nice day/night :-)

  • By Mwangi, May 15, 2008 @ 5:06 am

    @gal africana: Sigh, then I guess I will have to allow you to keep knocking my German folk ;) And I in turn revenge the wishes that you have a great day/night.

  • By Caustic Blonde, May 15, 2008 @ 5:33 am

    I find it interesting that it bothers you to see a black woman and a white man together, but not if it is a white woman and a black man. Could this be because you want your choice in women (whatever race they may be), but wish to deprive a black woman of whom she wishes to date? Personally, I don’t care who someone dates as I know matters of the heart know no boundaries.

  • By Mwangi, May 15, 2008 @ 5:45 am

    @Caustic: I didn’t even realize I had that was why I felt the way I did until I started talking to you guys via the comments section….I think you just may be right that it comes down to a very selfish reason of me wanting all women for myself and my community.

  • By sunny, May 15, 2008 @ 6:04 am

    @ Mwangi: The idea of African men stepping up to the romance plate would be roundly accepted. Notable is a platonic friend, white male, who made me dinner, and dessert, thats all. Three years later, I still remember that incident. Why, because as an African, you have fed so many people you have never been appreciated in kind, and here is a male from another land doing what at home is unheard of!
    Also, the excuse that some African males have for romancing their wives from other lands, is that, ” they do it this way in Rome, we have to be Romans” and they add, ” if she were African we would do the way we do in Africa” what?
    Just some comments on a great thread of discussions!

  • By Mwangi, May 15, 2008 @ 6:13 am

    @Sunny: Interestingly enough, there is this Kenyan guy, I think I may have written about him before, who is here studying (I believe he is in the Masters program, not sure). Anyway, he has this Australian girlfriend who studies and during the holidays works as a nurse. He comes from a pretty wealthy family and doesn’t need to work. So during the holidays he spends the whole day taking care of the home, cleaning it, taking care of the garden and cooking a meal for his woman. Once his woman comes home, they have dinner at the table, they discuss each other’s day, they then go and watch TV together while giving each other massages. Every so often they take trips together, just the two of them, and go for weeks at a time.
    When my cousin saw them he was shocked, he couldn’t imagine a Kenyan man of that caliber existed.

  • By acolyte, May 16, 2008 @ 2:28 pm

    Seems I missed the bash. To be honest alot of white man – african woman relationships are fueled by stereotypes and preconceptions.

    White men are not necessarily richer than Africans nor are they always more romantic. On the other hand not all African men are lumbering brutes in and out of the bedroom. Sadly not all African women believe that so you will see a very good AFrican woman running around with some shady white dude when she can do better by herself. There are some genuine relationships out there, Im not going to refuse that point though. But I think too many African women think of white men as Knights on a horse coming to save them from their trifling African brothers, I have heard very many AFrican women out here express that sentiment in different ways.

    Ladies black or white a man is a man………..

  • By Mwangi, May 16, 2008 @ 3:25 pm

    @acolyte: Enyewe bwana I hope you brought a gift to make up for being so late ;) A man’s perspective was definitely needed on this.
    Btw, you have brought up something that I did not put in the article but is worth discussing:

    They are those women who go outside the race in retaliation/ hatred/ anger/ bitterness towards African men. These are the women who walk around talking about everything wrong with the African man and why the White man is superior……I think the saddest thing about women in this situation is that underlying all their actions is a negative emotion whether bitterness, anger etc etc etc

    Whereas I do agree with the sentiments that everyone has expressed in terms of a human is a human is a human irrespective of race, I think a discussion of race must be conducted not necessarily because neurons are formed differently amongst the races but because different races usually come complete with their own cultures, belief systems and codes and customs of behavior hence the reason that an expression like “He acts black/He acts white” can actually have some merit in this world.
    So I definitely think an analysis of how much our race affects our behavior and thoughts should definitely be discussed even if your goal in life is to “surpass the whole issue of identifying yourself on the basis of your race.”

  • By Sunny, May 16, 2008 @ 4:31 pm

    @Aco: You said it, a man is a man. I and many women try to make distinctions between men to say that men are different, that we could, and should raise them to differing standards. Its sobering for me to get back the idea that a man is really just a man.
    I think that women look outside the race because they have been roundly let down by the men of their own race.

  • By Carol, May 16, 2008 @ 10:52 pm

    Wow,interesting.Its true Mwangi,that you could be limiting a black womans’ chances as you keep yours wide,so African of you!lol.
    So far I have had cases that make me laugh.I always frequent a night club but lately I think I must change.A few months back,some black guys approached my friends and I(two of us were black)and complained how girls in there disliked dancing with them,reason?(he was not a good dancer!)One managed to talk to us(Africans),saying that we were spoilt and act like “wazungus”. A few weeks then I decided to be a good person and ask a jammaa to danse with me.To my shock he refused,saying,I want someone who danses well.I told him,”oh so you are saying I cannot danse well?”.I swore never to ask them again.
    Hitherto, my fantasies for a black guy is 1 on a scale of 0-10.Apart from others whistiling on the streets,or saying hi so indescretly,none of them seems a perfect match for me.Long live intermarried couples!
    For those still single just look around,not on the skin but to the caracter of the person.

  • By Mwangi, May 17, 2008 @ 3:15 am

    @Carol: Hallo and welcome to the Displaced African. Hope you enjoy your stay and I look forward to hearing what you have to say about my other posts :D . In which country are you in?

  • By njeri, May 19, 2008 @ 2:01 pm

    I do believe that to some extent african women will probably use white men as kinda of a stepping stone from their harsh living situations. But I also believe that once that happens and the women are able to make it out of their difficult situations those relationships are normally done with. But with all due respect not all african women capitalise on such relationships but there is always a possibility. Anyways when those girls get out of those relationships they usually are quite desparate to get back to their african brothers except it’s not as easy since they already are used to being pampered. Then again there are those african women who go for white boys simply because they think they’re beyond an african man’s standards. My own opinion on this; both parties do capitalize on each other…white men for sex if u wish and african women for finacial opportunities/securities etc. Either way it’s a win-win situation. Having said that some of these interacial marriages are for real and should be respected.

  • By Mwangi, May 19, 2008 @ 3:52 pm

    @njeri: Thanks for sharing your take on the matter. I also forgot to mention the women who go after white men purely to get permanent residence and citizenship papers.
    In Sydney, Australia, there is actually a night club where young women are told to go to look for men who they can marry for paper work with apparently quite a few women going there and doing just that.

  • By Sean, May 27, 2008 @ 4:13 pm

    I’m a white American man, and it’s interesting to hear African women talk about this subject. African-American women have been conditioned to not even think about bringing a white man home, and rightfully so. We all know why. But I think there is something deeper about the attraction than also just saying modern white men are more romantic, respectful, etc. I’m incredibly attracted to African people in general–as is every human being, I believe…instictively sensing the power and deepness of every single human’s origin in Africa, either embracing it or fearing it, fear always being the pathetically weak root of racism. It’s now a scientic fact: every single one of us can trace out origin to one woman, who was from Africa, the “Mitochondeial Eve,” as geneticists call her. African-Americans are still stuck in this horrible situation over here of being in a country that feeds their self-hatred at every turn, despite their tie to all of humanity now being scientific fact. They have been conditioned to look in the mirror and see their African features as being primitive, and then, on top of it, believe their minds, thoughts, and actions are too. African-Americans long to be “intellectually” on the same level they percieve to Europeans other races to be, without even knowing they creators and owners of the most poweful intellectual thing in all of humanity: language, specifically, the universal one, music. African Americans shun being lumped into the “entertainer” category in this regard, but being a musician, I stand in awe of their universal control of the language we all speak and know in our hearts. This might might seem crazy, but I can hear that in any African woman’s voice. And their skin is beautiful, and their bodies are beautiful. Whoever convinced the world that skinny white girls from Hollywood are sexy is an evil genius…

  • By Mwangi, May 27, 2008 @ 5:55 pm

    @Sean: Wow man….you brought quite some profound poetry to this site. I would love to hear what some of the African women will say once they read your comments. Thanks for stopping by and expressing yourself so positively and openly.

  • By Kelly, May 27, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

    Thanks Sean! That was so beautiful, it gave me goosebumps. Such appreciation coming from any man regardless of color is amazing!

  • By Sean, May 28, 2008 @ 3:46 am

    Thanks :) I kept thinking I should say something in defense of African men, too. I read up here where a woman said that African men aren’t affectionate, don’t treat them with respect, etc. This is always said about African-American men, too. But I know African-American men to be some of the most emotionally deep men there are. But most are trapped in a struggle to essentially gain what they percieve to be an equal power as men of other races. If a man’s trying to get his own, he probably doesn’t have much time for back rubs and cuddling. This is true of any man of any race in any place in this world. But then the African-American man is also trapped in the whole thug/mandingo thing. A man can only take so much of a stereotype before he starts to embrace it and spit it back in the face of those who stereotyped him, make him feel the fear that the hate came from twice as much. Not a lot of time for footrubs in that scenario, either! A man needs to be secure in his place as a man in a man’s world before he can show affection. But I think African-American men have a deep understanding of men as men, and men of all races that they can tap into, which is their true power. Ask any man of any other race, and if they’re honest they’ll admit they’re jealous: “how come we don’t call each other brother?” Haha! True. I hope some day the African man gets his crown back. Treat a man like a king, and he’ll treat you like a queen. Peace…One Love.

  • By Mwangi, May 28, 2008 @ 4:13 am

    @Sean: On behalf of the brothers thx 4 the empathy

  • By John, July 6, 2008 @ 8:21 am

    I am also a white American man, who, like Sean, does not find skinny girls sexy. I wish more African American women knew that there are plenty of white men who appreciate the beauty of their features and curvaceous bodies. I think Jennifer Hudson is one of the sexiest women in Hollywood.

  • By Mwangi, July 6, 2008 @ 9:06 am

    @John: Lol! Welcome man. I think your ideas on curvaceousness and its correlation to sexiness will be more than invited and welcome here, especially by the writer of this post, namely yours truly :)

  • By John, July 6, 2008 @ 9:15 am

    Mwangi, to me, a curvaceous woman is sexy by definition. I think the pressure on women to be skinny is sick. Pleasantly plump is just right.

  • By Mwangi, July 6, 2008 @ 9:25 am

    @John: Preaching to the choir my friend. Preaching to the choir. We are already in the second song in the playlist, “Curves make the world go round!” ;)

  • By John, July 6, 2008 @ 10:01 am

    I am happy I found your site, Mwangi. You seem pretty cool to me. I like that you are both candid and open-minded.

  • By liberiangirl, July 15, 2008 @ 12:36 am

    Personally I will stick to my Black men. I get hit on daily white men..even asians..I prefer my black men. I actually attempted to date a white guy once..and i just felt like something was missing..especially after I kissed him and saw my makeup all over his face..lol. I mean I do find some white men attractive..however there is nothing like being with a strong educated handsome black man.

  • By Mwangi, July 15, 2008 @ 12:40 am

    @liberiangirl: Then welcome to tDA :D Seriously though, thanks for giving props to our African males. Has there ever been a relationship between a native African woman and a native Oriental Asian man? I don’t think I have ever seen one, I have heard they exist but never seen one?

  • By liberiangirl, July 15, 2008 @ 12:43 am

    ahh..I am sure it is out there…there are many asians in africa as well…so who knows..you know everyone has a taste for chocolate..lol

  • By ezz, August 7, 2008 @ 9:08 am

    Mwangi, on African women/Asian men you’d need to go to Asia or come to Africa to see them. A friend of mine met her Indian husband in India & another friend in Kenya has a relationship with a Korean.

    Also on classification, I think you need to distinguish between the relationships that take place in Africa and those that take place in the diaspora.

  • By Mwangi, August 7, 2008 @ 7:39 pm

    @ezz: I realized after creating this whole Jungle Fever series that there definitely are a lot more nuances that I needed to create, one of them being, as you said, relationships on the African continent and in the diaspora.
    By Asian I was actually referring to Oriental Asians and Africans. The Indian, African connection I have seen made enough times that it’s no longer a huge novelty.
    I have only ever seen biracial results of the Asian man, African woman equation e.g. Tyson Beckford, but I have never ever interacted with a biracial African woman/Oriental Asian man couple.

  • By John, August 10, 2008 @ 6:55 am

    Mwangi, I was not certain if your description “African women” was referring to all women of African descent, but I assume you are since you included African American women in this thread.

  • By Mwangi, August 10, 2008 @ 6:57 am

    @John: Hmm, though I wrote this article some time ago and don’t quite remember what I said, I wouldn’t think, I would have included African American women because their circumstances are soooo different.

  • By John, August 10, 2008 @ 7:07 am

    Mwangi, perhaps it was the reference to Halle Berry that made be think so. Since I am American, I would have much more contact with African American women than African women anyway.

  • By Mwangi, August 11, 2008 @ 4:15 pm

    @John: Most of the birracial people that we know come from the States hence the use of references to Ms. Berry, Obama, Leila Arcieri and so on and so forth…….

  • By eslavida, August 26, 2008 @ 9:42 pm

    im a kenyan gurl goin out with a white guy and its not coz he treats me better than an african guy wud or coz we wud make beautiful babies (coz i dun even want kids) or because im curious (coz id already explored) or because he has money (i pay ma own bills drive ma own car buy ma own bags boots and jeans etc) its because of hu he is…i love him for him. y do we always have to see colour? wen i met my man i wasnt even looking for a boyfrend let alone a white one (we live together weve been together for about a year now)…it jus happened coz at the end of the day we are all MEMEBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE tony colour so doesnt matter and wen i fell in love with him…it was with him not his skin not his money nothing but the person he is inside

  • By Mwangi, August 27, 2008 @ 8:08 am

    @eslavida: Hello my dear,nice to hear from you. I don’t always see the colour BUT I did write this article TO DISCUSS colour and race and how that interacts in the areas of relationships.

    I think as far as “fresh off the boat” immigrants go, we will probably both agree that your life and your experiences are pretty unique and pretty special.

  • By George, December 3, 2008 @ 1:01 am

    Wow! I stumbled upon your blog and I found it very interesting and uplifting for me. I’m a white guy who has had a black gf since 2005. We fell in love, moved in together and on Labor Day Weekend 2008 we got married! We’re very happy together!

    Secondly, I really enjoyed the comments above about the curves that black women have! My wife is a BBW and all of those heavy curves is what I found soooo attractive about her! I’ve never liked skinny women either because they remind me of boys and I’m definitely not into boys.

    My wife and I wanted to do something for the interracial community, so we started a website just for that purpose. It’s a free forum where you can post your thoughts and comments about interracial relationships. It’s located at: http://www.mixedcouples.info so please check it out.

  • By Mwangi, December 3, 2008 @ 1:08 am

    @George: Well congratulations to you and your new bride, the link is now permanently up on this site so best of luck with that too. Thank you for stopping by :D

  • By Ciru, December 27, 2008 @ 4:31 pm

    I just came across your blog today and have to say I love it.

    I am married to a white man and I just wanted to mention that being all that interracial marriages are I love mine. I know a man will always be a man and some even say we should accept the African man for who he is but I believe life is too short and I want to be treated as best as life has to offer. I have dated many African and African-American men, and even some white men and my husband is just IT! My biggest complaint with the African men was being expected to be the kitchen-girl. I like to cook but if I have to go out and work too we have to share the household stuff. The African-American man? The common theme was that treating a woman right involved taking her to the mall and buying her tons and tons of stuff; anything she wanted. That in itself I found demeaning. I have a good education, a good job, a good house and my own car. I even prefer to pay my own bills. Someone to ‘buy me whatever I would like’ was not on the list of my perfect man. Some white men expect the African woman to be their mother (for lack of a better word). While African women are very nurturing there is definitely a very big and bold line between being a gf/wife and being a mother. Once that line is crossed then things should end very quickly (mental image is very disturbing).
    I am all for interracial marriages as long as they are entered into with the best of intentions by both parties.

    On the topic of African women and Asian men: I have a very good friend who date a Chinese man for the longest time. IMO they made the perfect couple. Their names literally rhymed. All was well until his parents realized he was dating a Kenyan woman. They repeatedly asked why he had to date not just an African but a Kenyan. Apparently Kenyans have AIDS. Long story short he was forced to go back to Hong Kong to “take care of the family business”. Sad story but that has been the common theme in all the African-Asian relationships I have seen. One Asian girl’s parents attempted suicide when they learned that her bf was African!! Very sad.

  • By Mwangi, December 27, 2008 @ 11:10 pm

    @Ciru: Yet another A+ comment. That “kitchen girl” issue is a huge complaint for a lot of women out there in the States it seems because there’s almost no discussion I have had of African relationships where that hasn’t come up.

    What do you mean they expect you to be their mother? Do you mean they are emasculated and want you to take the reins on all decisions? I am not exactly clear on what you mean by that.

    The hatred that Asian folk have for black folk I have always found so odd, but I guess all ethnicities have issues with going outside the race.

  • By George, December 28, 2008 @ 1:22 am

    @Ciru: I loved your comments above! I learned some new things from your perspective. I’m sensative to the kitchen-girl stuff, so I always pitch in with some cooking and some dishes to help my wife. I also do 95% of the laundry while she’s at work since I’m self-employed at home.

    My previous comments are right above yours and I would like your permission to put your comments on our website under Interracial Relationships. I’m sure our visitors would learn something also. Or, you could copy and paste it there yourself.

    @Mwangi: I would like to ask your permission to reprint her comments also… I’ll put a line on there similar to reprinted with permission from the Displaced African and the link to here.

    Thanks to you both in advance. ~ George

  • By Mwangi, December 28, 2008 @ 1:24 am

    @George: If Ciru is cool with it, then who am I to refuse a comment attributed to my site on yours :)

  • By Ciru, December 28, 2008 @ 7:06 am

    @Mwangi: The being a mother issue has to do with men who do not want to engage their brains in anything that involves effort or thought. That means you have to ask them to do each and every thing that needs to be done (reminds me of the days my mom would be leaving for work and she would tell each of us what she expected us to do since she knew that if she didn’t do that then nothing would get done). I just frown upon having to tell a full grown man; Do the dishes, do the laundry, warm the car up, take the garbage out. Eventually the romance gets drained out of the relationship since the woman ends up being the one calling all the shots. I like to be involved in decision making but not the one responsible for making all the decisions. If I ask any question the automatic, no-thought-involved answer should not be “I don’t know.” It is ok not to know but show that you actually thought about it.
    As an adult one should have the ability and willingness to be proactive.

    @George: By all means you can use the comments as long as they are not paraphrased (the intended meaning could be lost).

  • By Mwangi, December 28, 2008 @ 7:24 am

    @Ciru: Wow, I can actually pinpoint exact moments when my mother has used exactly those words, with exactly the same justifications, the same metaphors and language ( “I expect you to have a brain etc” ) and yet there was no movie or school or social group that taught all this……this is spooky, lol.

    But I get you now

  • By George, December 28, 2008 @ 8:47 am

    @Ciru & @Mwangi: Many thanks to you both! All I did was a Copy & Paste with your comments reprinted verbatum. I hope our readers will find your comments as enlightening as I did. You can see it at the following link if you like… http://www.mixedcouples.info/smf/index.php?topic=121.0

    We have been married for almost 4 months now, so I’m still in the learning stage (and in the honeymoon stage, Woo Hoo!) I really appreciate your perspective. Thanks again for letting us reprint it.

  • By Mwangi, December 28, 2008 @ 8:55 am

    @George: On my part, no biggie and here’s to a honeymoon passion that will last forever……

  • By Ian, April 22, 2009 @ 6:43 pm

    Mwangi,I am white my wife is Black from Liberia and our 3 children are mixed,no big deal we just love eachother color does’nt mean anything to me,sorry you have lost one of your soldiers..or gained a white one..

  • By Mwangi, April 23, 2009 @ 11:01 am

    @Ian: Welcome to tDA and thanks for your comment. Hmm, I haven’t met your wife or not to see whether or not we have lost a good one :P All joking aside, I wish y’all nothing to success, heres to you guys being an example of what can happen when a man and a woman come together with the best of intentions. Have an awesome one.

  • By Ian, April 23, 2009 @ 1:02 pm

    Thanks Mwangi.

  • By John, May 30, 2009 @ 6:09 pm

    LMAO! Great stuff, man! Coming from a white man who is married to a black African girl from Zimbabwe, and acknowledging the anecdotal nature of what I am about to say, our three-and-half-year-old son is the most gorgeous kid in the universe. Yes, I am biased, of course. Want proof? Send me an email and I will send you a pic of his little gorgeousness. You did leave out on category of black women who go for white men: girls who are looking to adjust immigration status and stay in the USA. I am sure this applies to all kinds, though, men and women, white and black, Gerard Depardieu……………

  • By Cmac, February 21, 2010 @ 10:26 am

    I have heard that one of the reasons White men like asian women is because they’re very feminine (whatever that means), I am an african female in love and in a relationship with an african male, but may I give merit to the point that white men are good at romance…. that being said, romance shouldn’t be confused with love, one can be learnt. But beyond that, family life too plays an important role. One thing I like about a white male is his willingness to do household chores, involvement in children’s lives, etc etc which I have observed from my life here in the western world; to a degree higher than I observed back at home (ofcourse, the law helps over here), but there is some genuineness about it. And I admire/desire that.

    P.S. There are exceptions (as I have found in my b/f), and the statements are just generalisations…

  • By dutchess, July 3, 2010 @ 2:27 am

    I love this article and the comments that follow. If you had told me that I would be dating a caucasian male at the time you wrote this article, I would’ve laughed at you, and said you didn’t know what you were saying.
    But, here I am, in a loving relationship with a caucasian male (and I’m pure African). He loves everything about me: my accent, my skin, my food, my culture. It’s funny cos you would think that he would be the one concerned about the chocolate+vanilla mix, but he’s so good about it. I’m the one who notices the nasty glances from black men. I’m the one who hears the snide comments behind our backs.
    Anyways, I came to dating him because I had my fill of African men. I’m Nigerian, and I dated Nigerians, Ivorians, Angolans, Ethiopians, and they ALL turned out to be painfully similar. Maybe it’s just my selection, but my vanilla man is much different and more caring, so, yes, maybe it’s the romance. But you have to realize that romance plays a HUGE role in getting a woman of substance.

  • By Kamal Edris, September 23, 2010 @ 8:07 am

    like me looking for African girl be in home care and children taking care I give her my lif and should her to because now a days life need to be safe side but women sufaring to get a man do every thig for her and when she found him she become something ealse and forgoten what she was !!!that`s big trouble
    as me looking for girl I give her every thing she need and when she found it easy tray to put the man who she found in trouble don`t tray to keep him in her eyes ,,
    I want from every women in Africa looking for future not her but kids

  • By Peter, October 2, 2010 @ 3:34 am

    Well I can comment on the white man/ Asian woman syndrome, as a white man married to a woman from Singapore (Chinese). Well Asian women usually have a way of letting a guy know her interest more than other women. Asian women often are more focussed on looking for a stable and financially secure future, rather than the stylish, cool, flashy, sporty, ’so interesting’ type of guy that seems generally popular here in Australia. And Asian women as ‘more submissive’? The whole ‘Asian submission’ thing is much more nuanced than the average person is aware of. There is ‘external submission’ where a woman will show a man ‘respect’ in public. And that’s about it. ‘Close’ relationships in many Asian collectivist societies are a lot more open, robust and negotiated than people from ‘outside of the circle’ realise. How many of you can name a matriarchal Asian society? Yep, some of you will know that the Philippines is matriarchal (not matrilineal) where women usually hold the purse strings and call the shots at home. I think it is a little similar with many African cultures, where there are separate man/ woman roles, but these roles are not as rigid as they were in the past. What is really needed for any cross-cultural relationship to work is RESPECT for each other’s culture, self-awareness of your own cultural biases, genuine love for the other for who they are (love for a cultural stereotype does not last long) and a commitment to keep improving the relationship even when you don’t feel like it.

  • By austraialia, October 5, 2010 @ 5:57 pm

    im white austraiian man, im in love with a girl from zimbabwe 10 years younger than me im 40 she is 30, any ideas how to impress her as she does not know how much i wana marry her??, is there anyone else out there like this??

  • By admin, October 7, 2010 @ 3:21 am

    @australia: Unfortunately as I am not in your shoes at present or don’t have much deep knowledge of people in your situation I probably cant offer any advice however I hope your leaving your comment out here results in folks coming out who can give useful tips or advice.

  • By Nina, October 15, 2010 @ 7:15 am

    Accidentally stumbled on this blog and I found it hilarious and honest. I’m an African girl in a relationship with a white guy and I can honestly say he is the best guy i have ever been with and I have dated a lot. Our cultures could not be any more different but the interesting part of our relationship has been learning more about each other. I think I fell in love with him because he is attracted to the things about me I consider most important. My brain, career, love for life, my desire to constantly learn. He loves my accent, skin color, culture, food, everything. He wants to know everything about me, even making the “scary” trip to go visit my parents and family in Africa. I think the best thing about him is he is not afraid to love me. That is something I never got from an African man I dated. It surprised me that african men my age (I’m on the lower side of my 20s), still think that a woman’s only job is to serve him and have his kids. Don’t get me wrong I was raised by an African woman and I know how to cook, clean and take care of my man, but I refuse to have that be my only job in life. Maybe thats why I date white guys now, I don’t know. I am yet to meet an African man who is not threatened by a successful, strong woman and who is willing to cook for his woman, and show her love regardless of the situation or “audience”.

  • By love u mwangi, October 22, 2010 @ 12:54 am

    Not all white men are good and not all black men are bad either. It just depends on the individual. However from my personal experience most white men know how to treat their women with love and respect.I did’nt realise what I was missing out on until I met my current boyfriend who is white.He has his faults but he is the best thing that ever happened in my life and i looooove him:) …..awww. My friends are not very supportive of our relationship because of the mixed race but I really dont care. What I went through when I had a African guy ……ah ah misri sirudi kamwe lol!So I guess that puts me in the” bitter woman category” ? lol

  • By Lollie, June 22, 2011 @ 6:30 am

    With internet dating, I think the world is opening up for all folks regardless of ethnicity to meet someone special. I am a black woman who was married to and dated only black men until recently. I have been seriously involved with a white man for the last eight months and things are going great. I will be honest that it took me conquering my own internal bias to be able to open up to this man. The fact that I have two kids further complicated my mindset. However, when this man and I started to talk and see all of the things we had in common….we just clicked. What am I supposed to do now? Give up the chance of pure happiness because of this man’s skin color? I think now….I have grown to love him and see myself having a future with him. Does it mean that I love my brothers any less…no. I simply choose to be happy. Life is too short to be wrapping myself up waiting for my dark prince who might never come my way. Yes, I have noticed some difference in how he treats me….but it has nothing to do with his race. It has to do with the fact that this man has a good character which was instilled in him from a little boy. He knows how to treat a woman and he knows how to accept the love of a good woman without it challenging his manhood. I think that a lot of men need to grow up and learn to be more authentic within them. A lot of men walk around here worried about how their buddies perceive them so they put on errors of this macho, aggressive man…the woman beater to use your term. Why? Back in the day…the only thing a man cared about was that he had a good woman….his aggression only shown when someone else was coveting the love of his life or threatened his family. They were the protectors not the hurters. We as women..need to stop settling for mis-treatement and sharing men. We are the ones that have it in our power to make men be more respectful towards us. Its not about giving in to a woman…its about giving and giving respect to one another. The DRAMA is exhausting, not necessary and a waste of useful energy. LOVE is all that should matter. This world is a melting pot…ever evolving….why do we feel the need to hold onto something that is basically destroying our human race. Its the only race that matters. Racism and Prejudice is the seed of all that is wrong in this world. I love my man and I love my children. They are all beautiful to me…with their various shades, expressions and intellect. Thanks for starting this discussion. It was very interesting reading.

  • By stace, December 26, 2011 @ 9:00 am

    Wow, I just returned from kenya – a hairdresser in Western charged me 2500 for a hairwash pulling money out of my purse (I am fem) telling me she wants a white bf. I told her hairdressing is on the skilled migrant list here and white guys expect a woman to work and contribute financially these days. She said she’d even take an old one, so there is a certain Gold Digger class of African ladies who have this unrealistic idea of western life.

    The ones with old dudes made me sick and i THINK some of those men should be shot, some are dead ugly and not even anything back home I bet, becoz of exchange rate can get to Kenya and these misguided and desperate girls go for them. Not worried about greedy ones, they deserve what they get.
    The caretaker in my compount is a single mother and she wants a white as they don’t cheat (well, not nearly as much), and I certainly had dozens of married dudes hit on me there.

    The asian fetish is for 2 reasons. Women like big ones and men like “tight” and Asians are tiny and peceived that way. Also their culture is more pampering to men so the men enjoy being spoiled. There might be less freedom in other ways but she’ll dote whereas western chicks except dudes to help with washing up and go out drinking without their partner eetc.

    btw my bf is a kenyan but I am worried about the redneck relatives i have. i am a liberal and this guy is awesome but… i am scared. If i could earn seious money i would move there.

  • By Chris, December 26, 2011 @ 11:44 pm

    As a white british man, I see alot of african women dating us ‘whities’ here in the uk. I am neither for or against it aslong as it is genuine.

    But alot of the native africans who come here, they go for below average to average white men (your nerdy techie type with glasses and a not so great fashion sense) the ‘black british’ here (african and carribean descent) go for white guys who are average to above average in looks and have a great fashion sense etc.

    What bothers me is alot (not all surely) is of the african womens’ motive when they are here in the UK. As the nerdy sort of guy (though my fashion sense isnt too bad) I’ve never had that much success in the dating game and in regards to western cultured women. African women try to get my attention regualrly here but I’m not convinced this is genuine.

    I assume it may be because of money and the need or hope for a visa for permanent residence here in the UK. I am in no means a racist or anything. I am friends with these women and enjoy talkin to them just like anyone else but something bugs me in my mind when they want to date me whilst my own western female counterparts dont bother with me muich.. Am I nommral to be suspicious?

  • By Mwangi, December 30, 2011 @ 8:48 pm

    @Chris: Sadly, yes you should be suspicious

  • By Brian, January 9, 2012 @ 5:07 pm

    WOW!!! I’m what is called an African-American. I am generalizing here but am I to believe after reading these comments that it’s not just American so-called sisters that are attracted to money. It’s global!? Women are primaly attracted to money in the same way a brother is attracted to a round rump and small waist. A woman can no more resist money(security), than a man can resist sex. But not every man can be wealthy. But a man can walk and carry himself with a sense of moral standard that includes what he is looking for in a woman(I recommend Proverbs 31:10-31). Shallow materialistic women are repulsive to me. But brothers we have to be worthy of the women who are of substance if she is who we seek. However, if we are just looking for a cheap thrill, then get your game tight. Women are playing hardball now. They know a weak man will do next to anything to squeeze between her. In the end both get what they deserve.

  • By ALan Dodds, January 20, 2012 @ 4:44 pm

    Well there are some interesting posts here. I will admit that. However I have a dose of reality here for you all.
    I am a caucasiom male in his mid thirties. I am about to marry a African lady. I am your average man working his way through life. I am not rich, but am not poor either. My fiancee knows this and we do not have jungle fever. We are just two people that became attracted to each other, stayed in touch, fell in love and are very soon to be married. We have known each other for over a year now and soon my fiancee and her daughter will be living with me. The funny thing is that she went out of her way to catch me. I have never viewed our relationship as B/W as most people do and will, but unfortunately we both still face friends saying are you sure be they black or white. Nothing in this world is certain. I know people will read this blog and agree with nothing because of their own views and others will be glad to read it. You do not have to be a rich white man for a African women to approach you. My fiancee told me just wanted true love. She just happened to find it with e before she found it with an African man and trust me when I say that if she had found that with an African man first then that is the way it would have been. Well I hope some people find this interesting, but whatever your views are just know that no matter where a person is from, if it fits and you are happy. Then it is right.

  • By Sylvia, February 27, 2012 @ 8:38 pm

    I like white men. Why would I be with someone who expects me to mother him¿? Black nmen are rude, arrogant….the list is endless.

  • By Daktari, March 22, 2012 @ 4:33 am

    Some really good posts here. Thanks Mwangi for starting up such a lovely forum.
    It’s obvious that there is no universal yardstick on measuring the success or failure of inter-racial relationships, or any inter-human relationship for that matter.
    What is obvious is that no white or Asian or Arab woman will go dating a black man to pacify or boost her low self esteem. At least she wont take the cop-out that, white males have more sense of romance!some of my white male friends have been the most brutish, chauvinistic guys I have ever seen; stay-aside the stereotypical African village male. The argument taken by some (not all) black women that black men are un-romantic is a hollow cop-out! If percieved black male un-romanticism is a genuine argument; then arguably, white males, who in yester years were perpetrators of rape against black people would be a true generalization.Black women should first face the truth and confront and exorcise their demons of low esteem. Why do I say so? What other race of women spends billions every day, trying to bleach their skin and alter their hair texture and color to conform to the “standards” of their female counterparts of a different ethnicity?Lets not kid ourselves;Yes, there are black women who have a sense of self worth (a minority) and choose to date outside the African race, but the majority do so to “elevate” their status in life!
    Sad, but we all know it is the reality. I have no interest in such women(regardless of ethnicity) but since this forum addresses African women, I dare say,I don’t want anything to do with a black woman who cannot live in her own skin.And as a P.S; I am a successful African man, who has dated across all ethnicities in the USA.Sadly,the only women whom I dated,and found to suffer low self worth were African American, and were ignorant of it!Not wit standing their impressive academic and career achievements! Wake up African woman (and man too).Chocolate was not meant to be just a flavor poured and mixed into another! By itself it is a complete and satisfying nutrient.A rare treat so to say. That’s why God made only a limited amount of it, stupid! Much love.

  • By ime, July 31, 2012 @ 3:18 am

    Our choice of who we are attracted to will remain the same regardless of race. Are we less gold diggers if we end up with men of our own race? I personally am attracted to features that I can only find in white men FYI I make more money than my white hubby and we are for sure an upper class couple in fact even by myself I would still be upper class I just happened to have been attracted to a man who is not of the same race. After reading all of this if I had a choice I would still choose to marry a white man. It is what it is. Am just keeping it 100

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