Comments on: Jungle Fever: The Relationship Between African Men and White Women

By: Bakah

Bakah — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:45:17 +0000

I’m an Africa man and like all of my friends without exception we all like bit girls,,generally speaking ,,, and for me I do have fetish attraction to the bigger white gal,,for non of the reasons you mention,, ,, I think this is a matter of personal preference,, that may have some cultural roots. For instance I like one of the girls in the picture, the one on the right with the curves,,,,

Wow I thought came on just as I write this,, some people have suggest that the reason why it bigger or being fat is a good thing in the continent is because in the past in my area only the rich could afford three meals and consequently get bigger,, so there is the association better fat , bigger and being rich or well to do,,, whatever it may be the reason there is a genuinely root in African men being attracted to bigger women as a matter of fact,, not necessary obesse as that is a desease ,,,some how I dont hate tiny ones,, but grew up being fascinated by the bigger lady,,,at the moment I think am mature and size doesnt play a major rule in influencing who I dat,,,

By: APrettyMzungu

APrettyMzungu — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:44:25 +0000

I’m a 22 year old American girl, who just moved to Tanzania and found this post hilarious! And it’s funny because it’s true. Keep in mind though, there are exceptions- I like to think of myself as one, but for the most part, I see exactly where you are coming from. Initially, I went to Africa to volunteer, along with 30 other people (mostly girls) in the same program. In the beginning, I was shocked to see volunteers getting with locals and thought they all were kichaa sana (very crazy). It quickly became the norm and most of the girls found themselves being attracted to a guy. Although I questioned the reasoning, I didn’t see any problems with these relations, but I was strictly against this for myself. Keep in mind, I am considered an attractive girl and finding men wherever I go has never been a problem. Guys were the last thing on my mind when I came to Africa and for once in life- I was there to concentrate on everyone but myself. Welll isn’t life funny sometimes… To my surprise, by the end of the summer, I ended up joining the rest of them and -gasp- fell for a local. Obviously after 3 months living anywhere in this world, a girl is inevitably going to be open to the idea. I noticed for the most part, that the girls that loved “interacting” with locals in the beginning were in your categories (overweight, enjoy fads- interracial relationships IN in Hollywood right now, low self-esteem). One thing I think is missing in your category is: baggage/age. I noticed a lot of older women (usually divorced) tended to be attracted to locals (I recently met a 32 year old American woman, about to marry a 20 year old African boy). Also, girls at the age of 19-21 that are “experimenting” or “rebeling” and testing their limits. I also encountered married American women, volunteering for a few weeks and enjoying alll that Africa has to offer… Absolutely.Horrible. I found all of this to be quite interesting though. Elsewhere in the world, the majority of these females normally would not be hit on and guys don’t even take a double look- yet in Africa, they were swarmed with attention. I can see how they are the happiest they’ve ever been with this new found attention and desirability. I laughed at the idea, and as I said, had no problems with their relationships (live & let live, right?) – but I just did not see myself joining them. I haven’t had any trouble getting a guy wherever I am. I don’t mean this in a conceited manner at all, I just mean that this attention wasn’t new to me and I was used to it. I became good friends with many locals, including one that developed into much more- now I honestly consider him to be my soul mate (strong words, I know). I constantly find myself having to defend against these stereotypes though. Call me crazy, but I consider our love as an exception, a rare thing in this world. Especially to most mzungu-local relationships. Just know that it is possible to find love in Africa for all the right reasons. –If you take offense to this blog/post, then you most likely fall into these categories discussed. But if you’re happy, then really it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

By: Lalasalama

Lalasalama — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:31:55 +0000

Hello Mwangi,
I just came across your blog, and this post right here. I had to tell you it really made me laugh. So much so that Id like to write something on what western women visit Africa expect of African men, because believe me there are just as many steriotypes and crazy beliefs. That being said people getting so offended by this piece of writing need to chill out! I am a white English woman, I am not over weight at all, I do not suffer from low self esteem, I am well educated, and I have never had a drug problem nor do I have a love of hip hop as a music genre. I am however in love with a Kenyan man, who found this blog entry equally as funny

By: Avery girl

Avery girl — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 21:53:59 +0000

As a white woman in the U.S., i can honestly say that the only man who I fell in love with was a Nigerion….big mistake…. Beautiful man… Met him at a bar, which I rarely would do…. i treated assholes at bars like assholes… And, since he thought or assumed he was so smart and I apparently look like a dumb blond, he tried to hit on me using ONE of his MIDDLE NAMES… i was not in the mood for any dude so I callled his ass out on it. And told him that I caught onto his accent and when he said Nigeria was where he was from, I was like “dude, wtf, if that is true then what is ur real name? I am not dumb.”… And, I expected him to walk away insulted but, he was fascinated instead. I guess he couldnt believe that some hot blond girl could be less than a bimbo…. Anyways, I did end up… Not that night, but later, sleeping with him as friends with benefits… He had been in the states for like 12 years and was pretty Americanized… But, i didnt have expectatons of the ralationship until I realized that DEAR GOD, HE TREATS ME LIKE A QUEEN WHENEVER I AM NEAR HIM. I guess, it is that naturally fit and beautiful body mixed with how he treated me….. But, damn, as a noj stupid girl I was pretty dumb to start to fall for him… But, who wouldn’t? Some African men treat their women like GOLD even if it is friends with benefits…. Different than many American men, black or white… And, DEAR GOD, THAT SKIN IS BEAUTIFUL… I am no dummie, but, wow, that man was aweso e in many ways… i suppose I was being used like I used him; however, then the focus os feedig and caring for his family BACK Home comes into play along with any career opportunity… And I become”that girl” he was screwing… I am fine with that… But truth be told… Holy shit… African men can be soooo f ing hot!

By: Katherine (Australia)

Katherine (Australia) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 09:04:08 +0000

Hey, just reading through your post, its very funny, and I must admit, this does seem to apply in alot of cases. I am white, and whilst I’ve never been out with an African man, I must admit I do find them rather attractive.
None of your above points apply to me hahaha.
I just think African men are very attractive, same way some people find guys that have blonde hair and blue eyes attractive I guess haha.
But I definately do agree, I have seen lots of overweight girls talking up black guys, I dont know why I guess its just the stereotype

By: Mwangi

Mwangi — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:18:12 +0000

@Ex-strath dude: First up, always great to hear from ex Strath folks. The African American vs African and I would even add British and West Indies African thing is definitely a reality. I actually have a friend I have known now for 9 years who started off with the African American act close to 10 years ago and is still continuing with the act and getting quite a high level of success.

I think, ultimately, as educated as we think we all are, we really shouldn’t underestimate the power of all those superficial things we think we are above ( e.g. looks, fame, power, the way you are perceived in mass media). The older I get, and the more I read comments on this article, the more I am reminded that ultimately what I am discussing here isn’t an intellectual matter at all (as many people think that race, xenophobia and culture can be reduced to) but rather a discussion of our most primal, simplistic and probably animal parts of our nature.

By: *Ex-strath dude also

*Ex-strath dude also — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 07:48:13 +0000

Hey, Mwangi, I’m a fellow kenyan and ex- strath guy Just stumbled on your blog while idly googling the time away. But your right on one thing, Africans are treated better than aboriginals…but were still looked down upon. Let me tell you my personal experience after having spent a couple of months in Perth, Australia.
1. I’m kinda light-brown, so people find it a bit difficult to guess where am from. I frequently get asked where am from and once i mention am from Kenya, people’s reactions are usually like, “Oh, your from Africa?”
2. Because of such stereotypes, i’m not even allowed to exercise my individuality. Instead am just seen as ‘that african guy’ and am lumped up together with people from Cameroon,Zimbabwe etc…coz you know, ‘we’re all the same’
3.I once decided to spend a week being african american(yeah yeah i should not be embarrassed of my culture and all that BS but just shut up and let me finish the story.)I rocked out skinny jeans, converses and a fake american accent with the occasional n-word thrown in here and there.Results: people were fighting for my attention the whole week. I was deemed cool, the ‘must-have’ friend in you entourage. Girls were all over me! For once i actually felt proud to be black(Unlike when i tell people am from Kenya.) I even had to change my number and avoid previous haunts once i became tired of my AA gimmick.
4. From that, i concluded that Aussies, especially the younger, ‘more liberal city folk’ really like African Americans….Africans, not so much.
5. What most people know about Kenya, or Africa in general, is what they see on the tv(though i can’t blame them for that.)And the media rarely shows anything positive about Africa. The only positive things that people i met knew about Kenya was long-distance running and safaris.
6. On the other hand, you have people who think Africans are exotic and will keep hanging out with you if you do more ‘African’ than ‘western’ things. E.g. consistently encouraging me to wear something African instead of wearing t-shirts and jeans. It’s the equivalent of thinking that,oh I don’t know, all Japanese women wear kimonos or something like that. In their heads, i’m assuming they think that you can’t be westernized even if you are from a traditionally non-westernized place.
7. People don’t like sitting next to me on the bus and its a generally pleasant experience when somebody actually does.
8. Asian people don’t like me and will really go out of their way not to interact with me.*However this does not apply if you claim to be African-american*(Yes i know am stereotyping and in fact i do have some Asian friends. Am just simply stating the ‘general feel’)
9. The sad realization that i may actually be ‘white-washed.’ In fact this was probably before even coming to Oz. Hell, my favourite artist is Florence and The Machine. From a Nairobi-context Mwangi, i was the kinda guy who would listen to X-fm, watch loads of anime, take a piss on all things ragga related, spoke ‘nairobi english’(which i think should be called engsh. You’d probably recognise it with its common phrases such as ‘you guy’, ’si-you’. In fact if you’re from strath you probably know what am talking about),loved gaming,had watched all the latest tv shows etc. Even in Nairobi, people thought of me as being kinda weird.
10. Being white-washed/westernized/whatever the hell you want to call it means i really didn’t have much of a problem adjusting to my current new life in Oz. It’s my version of Nairobi except better i guess? Though on the other hand i’m not really sure whether Oz will ever get used to me. I can instantly make any social situation awkward by just simply being there,I still face the ‘Africa stereotypes’ everyday when i meet someone new,people also tend to get ‘jumpy’ around me(sometimes i wonder whether i give off a ‘potential-rapist’ vibe),i’m always on the look out for potential Ku-Klux members, I find it easier to interact with other foreigners than with Aussies. Anyway you just have to make the best of what you’ve got

By: Nubianspirit

Nubianspirit — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:44:47 +0000

Hello there. I read and thoroughly enjoyed your article. I am a British born African woman and I must admit I have seen what you described in your blog and it has actually been confirmed my some of my friends who are big and white. I, myself am an overweight female working hard to lose weight, but I go out on dates and enjoy in general and I don’t take rubbish from any man just because I am big. I have quite a lot of confidence and it starts from within. I have been on dates with both black and white men and with men who like big women and even those who don’t and what I realise is that in the end, men just like a confident woman who shows that she feels good in herself. I have gone clubbing with my slim friends and my big friends at different clubs, but my big white friends prefer to go to clubs for bigger women which has more black African men on the scene than white. There have been times when I have sat down just to observe the people in the club and what I’ve seen is black going mainly for big white girls because the black women tend to not tolerate the way the men seem to grow eight hands and want to put them everywhere. Also it is guaranteed that they will be leaving with a white woman. I discussed this with my friends and they do agree that big white women are more accommodating than black women in more ways than one and one of my friends admitted that she preferred African men because white men don’t like big white women and if they wanted a big woman, they would rather she be black. Apparently we move differently and act differently, according to her.

I do have to agree with Mwangi that quite a number of black African men do go with big white women because it is an easier life for them as she will do a lot for them to keep them. Black women would just tell them to hit the road. It is down to self esteem.

Speaking as an African, I am sad to say that there are some African men look for an easy life and don’t want to work for what they want, but hey! Good news is that its not all African men.

By: jill

jill — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 00:14:39 +0000

hi , well i read what you put and laughed so much . you are very true in many ways . i am what you think is a stereo lol. i am over weight and yes living in England with its narrow minded people have got a low self image . im not ugly in side or out , i have come to realize that many people who are beautiful ( slim pretty ) dont always have good qualities ,many are self obsessed and can be very cruel to imperfections in others. i love a beautiful african man very much and by writing what you have you degrade the good men out there. do you not know that any woman with half a brain knows what you said is true for many men but women have needs at the end of the night same as you lol. they know you may not choose them if you had another option but for a short time they feel loved and sexy. most women who are fat have had to work on there personalities , and i think they have been raised to have food in the fridge by women who cared for there families and it was the sign of a good woman . the drugs thing i cant comment on as i dont do drugs . W hat i really wanted to say is , whats lost in england that i find in african man is the sense of joy and fun , when your eyes light up the world and you talk with intelligence and passion . im not saying english men are not intelligent but they for me have lost something my dad and uncles had , FUN. so please treat my sisters with love and respect , they may not have had much . god bless too all , if we believed what god said , all men women are made equal .

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 22:06:58 +0000

I just came across this blog (funny how all comments start like that) and even though my boyfriend is african I must admit that I myself have noticed each and every one of those stereotypes, and its actually quite sad for both parties. The true tragedy though is not that these things happen but the fact that those stereotypes might even jeopardize wonderfully healthy relationships. Like mentioned my boyfriend is african and im (white) european and our relationship is WONDERFUL i found my soulmate and my best friend, but the tragedy is when people find out about my boyfriend being african (at least the ones that have not met him) I used to always feel like I need to justify everything to NOT appear like one of those stereotypes. It got to the point where i stopped caring luckily, but isnt that really sad though? I think if people in general where just more comfortable in their own skin we would have way fewer “victimes” of the stereotypes you described above?
I went to an international school meaning i think 95% of the worlds countries was represented so in turn we did not even have ENOUGH kids from a nation for stereotypes to start so i grew up in a bubble and seeing the “real world” is actually pretty sad but its human nature to stereotype because thats what makes us feel comfortable and we all do it to some extent, but i do hope that people begin to have more of an open mind before making any pre judgements or assumptions

and btw it seems i have been proven wrong but i still find it VERY hard to believe that some females chose black males because of their “mandingo” – the world really is not as sex obsessed as media tries to make it out to be (let me correct, western media)